Is it just me or does most men suck?

[peanutttttt]

Exactly just that. I really hate dating now a days, because you just never know if someone's intentions are genuine. Like how do you know anymore? Men of all ages just suck and at this point I have given up. I went on a date with this man, the connection was great before the date and the date was great. I even got a kiss at the end of it but never heard from him again. Like how weird! I don't dwell on it. It's just annoying I wish people would be honest now. I can't stand it. How's everyone else's dating life going? Because my love life is an absolute joke.

It’s not just you.

Not just you.

I'm mid 40s and have a couple of 'lovers'. Much better way to go

My DP is a man and even he says most men are twats

It’s so frustrating, like they have never been expected to grow the fuck up. His ex (female) is also a twat so I know “not all men” etc but it’s definitely too many of them.

DP is by no means perfect but the thought of going back to dating fills me with dread so if anything happens between us I will definitely remain single rather than sift through the pile of turds out there in order to try and find the rare treasure amongst them.

It's not just you

My DH thinks most men are awful too - violent, selfish, immature.

He is far from perfect but not sure I could bother dating again if we split up.

Where are you meeting these men? The quality of the men on online dating sites is appalling these days. I'd avoid those ones full stop.

Not just you.
If I split up with my other half I’d happily stay single.

Generally, good men manage to stay in relationships because they have maturity and can compromise.

The available men, once past a certain age, don't seem to have the relationship skills or even keen to acquire them.Online has made the sweetie shop mentality more prevalent as its easy to swipe, meet, shag, ghost and just repeat the cycle.

I think women seek connections so less likely to do this with online (although definitely applies to some women).

Women now also demand more from men, equality, emotional support, household chores and I'm not sure men of a similar age have been raised with these expectations so we have a mismatch.

Men in their 40s now were raised by women born in the 1950s so attitudes have a way to go. Anyone with young sons have to play their part and shape men for true partnerships, it's difficult job and moreso with online influences pushing male privilege.

Upshot the reasons "single men suck" are complex and not easy to solve.

It’s so frustrating, like they have never been expected to grow the fuck up.

Well to be fair they're not expected to. Back in the day for example (before my time) it was the norm that many men married in their early 20s and had the responsibility of providing for their wife and family and self sacrificing to ensure they're safe and well.

Nowadays, men are encouraged to be selfish and women no longer expect commitment and responsibility from them anymore. They get everything on a plate without any responsibilities on their part. Even marriage and kids which are a normal.part of adulthood, is supposed to be something which "scares" grown adult men away if a woman wants to properly dicuss them 🙄

The worst part is women continue colluding in all this by rewarding all these bad men by giving them what they want(sex, support etc) and staying with them long term, instead of raising their standards and going with good men.

My DP says men are awful too. Except him, naturally. I can't think why he would want me to think all men but him are awful. So it must be true.

Tad unfair maybe ? you had a date, you thought it went well, but maybe the other person didn’t.
I’ve had dates when I thought it went fine, but my date thought otherwise, don’t necessarily mean I think all women suck

Yes they are.

I get much more from pets, female friendships, and a good vibrator.

I think the internet and unlimited access to porn/women has corrupted the minds and souls of many men. Your average woman cannot compete with the thousands of choices and alternatives that they now have at their fingertips.

Yes I realize this is a simplistic and perhaps silly explanation, but I have noticed a steep decline in the behavior of men in general as more avenues to meet different women have become available.

Nowadays, men are encouraged to be selfish and women no longer expect commitment and responsibility from them anymore. They get everything on a plate without any responsibilities on their part.

^

Yup. Just hitting child support maintenance properly on ALL men would be a start. Like they do in the US. And that's the government's responsibility, because it seems men are too fucking slack/pathetic /negligent to pay for their own child(ren).

Porn is also responsible too.

@JustAnotherOldMan

Tad unfair maybe ? you had a date, you thought it went well, but maybe the other person didn’t. I’ve had dates when I thought it went fine, but my date thought otherwise, don’t necessarily mean I think all women suck

No I don’t think it’s a matter of women having a date that doesn’t go wel and then thinking men sick : I think it’s more a matter of women -having many many dates go wrong ,

• knowing friends who have many many dates go wrong
• being harrassed online for nude pictures
• being called a slut or worse for simply not wanting to take relationships further
• being subjected to daily mysogynistic attitudes
• being expected to do the lions share of unpaid work once in a relationship
• routinely being paid less than men for the same job
• being seen as predominately worth more by men the younger and more conventionally attractive you are and less as you veer from these standards
• knowing an entire community of men exist called incels who believe women owe them sex and deserve to die or be raped if they don’t ‘provide’it
• seeing women killing daily all over the media by their male partners
• seeing rapes all over the news predominately against women and girls by men

All of this and more . A little different to your example of a man going on a bad date and thinking all women suck huh

@Susannahmoody

Porn is also responsible too.

And yes this is absolutely a huge contributor

I am in no way blowing my own trumpet here either but from what I've seen around 95 % of men are willing to cheat on their wives and girlfriends. You only need to read on here as well the amount of women who've experienced sexual harassment from a really young age.

Men just don't ever seem to mature! They seem to need telling how to behave, even when they're 40!

There was that thing ages ago about how single women are happier than ones with partners.

In general i know a lot of women with men who are pretty good by most standards who say if they split up or something they wouldn't want to live with another one.

@Susannahmoody

I am in no way blowing my own trumpet here either but from what I've seen around 95 % of men are willing to cheat on their wives and girlfriends. You only need to read on here as well the amount of women who've experienced sexual harassment from a really young age.

Men just don't ever seem to mature! They seem to need telling how to behave, even when they're 40!

Yes I clearly remember hitting puberty and developing a lot at a very young age and having 50+ year old men staring when out showing with their wives , it was extremely uncomfortable and led me to a very self conscious few years . It didn’t seem to matter that I would deliberately try to hide under bulky clothing . I wasn’t alone friends had similar experiences I’m not talking about the once in a while creep either I’m talking about the regular dad and husband . It seems a lot of men just have zero boundaries

@NiceGerbil

There was that thing ages ago about how single women are happier than ones with partners.

In general i know a lot of women with men who are pretty good by most standards who say if they split up or something they wouldn't want to live with another one.

It was research by Paul Dolan, a man who seems to have trouble reading statistics properly.

Paul Dolan:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Dolan_(behavioural_scientist)

Tl/dr his claims are contentious and probably hyperbolic.

@RantyAnty, that's my game plan too! I've left an abusive marriage fairly recently and at the moment I don't see how I can trust a man again. That's not the fault of any man except the one I left, but he was a covert narcissist and I will never be the same again. Considering he never physically assaulted me (apart from grabbing my breasts at every opportunity) he's done an impressive amount of damage over the years.

You can't expect to meet many men who are suitable, if you meet them through dating sites, It must be like looking through a (Mail) (Male) order catalogue, to see if you fancy anything, then it's usually rubbish when you get the product.

As someone said earlier, the way many men try to evade their financial responsibility towards their children when they leave a relationship is scandalous - and yet they get no condemnation from society. All the tut-tutting is about lone mothers - who are usually the ones who stand by their kids. And this is how male-dominated society has always operated. Women were either wives and mothers or whores and those who chose to try and go it alone were witches. Nothing has changed.