Is it just me or does most men suck?

[peanutttttt]

Exactly just that. I really hate dating now a days, because you just never know if someone's intentions are genuine. Like how do you know anymore? Men of all ages just suck and at this point I have given up. I went on a date with this man, the connection was great before the date and the date was great. I even got a kiss at the end of it but never heard from him again. Like how weird! I don't dwell on it. It's just annoying I wish people would be honest now. I can't stand it. How's everyone else's dating life going? Because my love life is an absolute joke.

@1forAll74

You can't expect to meet many men who are suitable, if you meet them through dating sites, It must be like looking through a (Mail) (Male) order catalogue, to see if you fancy anything, then it's usually rubbish when you get the product.

Fucking love this!

Not just you. These men are single for a reason. I've met a narcissist, a user who wouldn't pay for anything, then there's the married men using dating apps or any app really looking for a bit of fun on the side.

It's not just you. Lack of consequences for awful behaviour is a part, and I do blame porn for changing expectations.

Society - other men in particular - just seems to egg on bag behaviour. Look at who’s in Downing Street, after all!

I think it may be the culture of online dating.

If you look at this site and the dating threads you hear about multiple 'irons' and lining up multiple coffee dates. Nothing wrong with it I suppose but doesn't leaving you with much trust that the women you are likely to meet are much better then the men being derided (and I'm not disagreeing that many men using OLD are using it for the wrong reasons as I know from my discussions with women in real life that many men are).

I don't understand the 'well all the good men are taken / would be able to work it out with their partner line' so there are no good single men. You could aim the exact same at women but I wouldn't as it's not sensible to generalise in such a way.

I can honestly say if anything happens to DH, or us, I will remain single forever. I'm over 50, I couldn't care less about another relationship.
My heart breaks for those with awful men , reading the" what made you realize your relationship was over" made me cry. Such awful men. Some criminal some just utter cunts.

Nope, not just you.
But maybe they always sucked, it's just my tolerance and patience is now zero for any of this shit.
I'm 44 and single (have been for about 2.5 years now). My previous 2 exes were absolutely shit in just about everyway but I let this behaviour go because somehow I was desperate to be in a relationship. I know one part of that was because of society's expectations that being in a relationship is success and being single is for "losers" - at least as far as women are concerned.
You don't get the same sort of disapproval for some merry 45-year old bachelor enjoying his life, doing what the fuck he likes, when he likes, as you do if you are a 45-year old "spinster", "cat lady" etc.

So yeah, now I won't stand for any nonsense at all, I am also of the opinion that most of them suck!

I couldn't agree more!

I've been single almost 18 months. I've tried OLD, I've met a few men but none worthy of more than a good time.

I now have a growing bitterness toward men in general. I know they're not all bad but 99% are terrible.

I'm focusing on myself from now on. Cause I'm the only person I'll spend forever with.

I'm only in my 30s but decided to stay single. I cant be arsed with it all.

Men wanting to date and sleep with multiple women without commitment is not a new thing. A fair few of them will have wanted this since time began. But until comparatively recently they wouldn't have had much chance, and knew the best route to regular sex would be to find one woman and offer her commitment in return for it. The difference now is not one of motivation but of opportunity.

I think a big part of this is that women no longer have to put up it!
they can earn their own money and so are less willing to ignore red flags, explain it away turn a blind eye, give him the benefit of the 'doubt'

Definitely not just you Op. But I wouldn't say it's exclusively men, there are some nasty women out there too (it's interesting hearing a male perspective on dating). People seem generally more selfish, less caring, we're in a throw away society and that extends to relationships.

Lovers are definitely the way to go. Especially ones that let the dog out for a wee, make you a cup of tea and lock the door on their way out at 11pm so you can stay tucked up in bed.

Men (apart from the hot ones) still struggle to get regular sex, the most reliable route to regular sex for most men is to pay a sex worker

I didn’t realise how shit most men are until I met my DP. The boyfriends I had before him were just....awful really. Unkind / borderline abusive, tight arses with time and money, too invested in how women look and not their personality. I didn’t really appreciate how awful they were until I started going out with dp (together now for 13 years). I’m glad I’ve experience the shit though because I’m always grateful for dp. But if we split up I’d be single because I couldn’t face dating and decent men are so very few and far between.

There are good men out there. I have one. I never could find any on dating sites though, or in bars. The best way is to meet someone in real life who you can get to know gradually. Through a hobby or club for example. I met my man walking our dogs. A group of people would meet with our dogs in the park every day. The whole group became good friends who look out for each other. It’s old school and it works.

@peanutttttt
I have given up too - wasted 3 years with a guy who was flakey - always ended up spending weekends/bank holidays on my own - he probably had a double life - last guy of 6 months was messing around behind my back and chose to be with her as she was younger
Even my father has said I am not very good at relationships which has made me feel a failure. I cant keep investing my time and money in men that just let me down

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Where are you meeting these men? The quality of the men on online dating sites is appalling these days. I'd avoid those ones full stop.

I've stopped with the online dating it's too time consuming. It's just been with people I've met while being out or through friends.

@Brakken

It’s so frustrating, like they have never been expected to grow the fuck up.

Well to be fair they're not expected to. Back in the day for example (before my time) it was the norm that many men married in their early 20s and had the responsibility of providing for their wife and family and self sacrificing to ensure they're safe and well.

Nowadays, men are encouraged to be selfish and women no longer expect commitment and responsibility from them anymore. They get everything on a plate without any responsibilities on their part. Even marriage and kids which are a normal.part of adulthood, is supposed to be something which "scares" grown adult men away if a woman wants to properly dicuss them 🙄

The worst part is women continue colluding in all this by rewarding all these bad men by giving them what they want(sex, support etc) and staying with them long term, instead of raising their standards and going with good men.

@Brakken it's absolutely absurd if I must say.

@JustAnotherOldMan

Tad unfair maybe ? you had a date, you thought it went well, but maybe the other person didn’t. I’ve had dates when I thought it went fine, but my date thought otherwise, don’t necessarily mean I think all women suck

I don't mean literally. I know there are good men out there for sure, I'm just saying as of lately it's been just a bad batch.

@RantyAnty I agree the good vibrator is much better than pointless sex these days. It's sad.

Sadly I think even good men suck when they online date.

An incredibly good friend of mine is an excellent father, solid friend, caring, kind, helpful and emotionally supportive. He has an excellent life, financially very sound, great decision maker and brilliant with his kids, and trying with his batshit ex to stay calm (she is we’ve been friends since kids).

But he in no way wants a relationship for the next few years until he heals. So why might you ask is this man dating from online and RL women he meets? Because he misses intimacy and sex. Is he being honest with them it’s not going anywhere until after they start to get serious? Seriously fucking doubt it from the evasion I get from him when I ask.

A good man, turned wanker, by online dating and sexual drivers. Someday he’ll make someone an excellent second husband that’s the sad thing!

So I’ve given up on online, and decide unless I accidentally meet someone who breaches my barriers in real life I’m out.

But it can happen to women too, I’d like a few dates and a shag, I’m tempted to date, but the difference is as a woman I’d bloody say it was going no where, not all do.

@UnFringed

Sadly I think even good men suck when they online date.

An incredibly good friend of mine is an excellent father, solid friend, caring, kind, helpful and emotionally supportive. He has an excellent life, financially very sound, great decision maker and brilliant with his kids, and trying with his batshit ex to stay calm (she is we’ve been friends since kids).

But he in no way wants a relationship for the next few years until he heals. So why might you ask is this man dating from online and RL women he meets? Because he misses intimacy and sex. Is he being honest with them it’s not going anywhere until after they start to get serious? Seriously fucking doubt it from the evasion I get from him when I ask.

A good man, turned wanker, by online dating and sexual drivers. Someday he’ll make someone an excellent second husband that’s the sad thing!

So I’ve given up on online, and decide unless I accidentally meet someone who breaches my barriers in real life I’m out.

But it can happen to women too, I’d like a few dates and a shag, I’m tempted to date, but the difference is as a woman I’d bloody say it was going no where, not all do.

That's a pretty good analysis. I suppose the only difference is men wouldn't care if it's going nowhere (yeah I know that doesn't excuse it).

From some of the horrendous things I read on here, it sounds like women are evolving and men are regressing back to Neanderthal.

I must have been lucky. I had a nice affectionate caring boyfriend at school - we still exchange Christmas cards, and chat on FB occasionally - and then met my wonderful DH at 19.
DH was an absolute treasure, loving, caring, came to the hospital and cooked my dinner for me every night I was on call, changed nappies, did more than half the chores, and was great in bed. He taught me what love is, and undid the damage from my emotionally abusive parents.
Sadly, he died at 36, 30 years ago. I never remarried, as I feel he is irreplaceable. I would hate to be dating now, in an environment saturated with violent porn and misogyny.
I would advise young women to snap up one of the few decent men as early as possible - by your 30’s/40’s it’s mainly rejects that are left. Divorced men who were abusive, idle, drinkers or cheaters, plus mummy’s boys and incels.
You could kiss a helluva lot of frogs before finding a prince in that lot.