What to do?

[Oscarbin]

Soooo got drunk last night, and woke up and the bf has been awful to me. I remember going to bed and going to sleep.
Now he's ignored me, but I've came over I've poured my heart out, asking what I've done wrong? I've apologised, I don't know what for.
I've never ate all day I've been sick. And I feel bloody awful.
I've cried so much at his and not even a cuddle. I have said sorry soo many times. I don't know what what to do.

(His brother said I was fine last night)

@JungleIsMassive

OK. So did you clean the mattress and wash bedding when you got up? Seems very harsh of him to be doing this though. Unless there really isn't anything wrong and your hungover anxiety riden brain is making you think there's a problem? And now he's fed up of the crying and begging? Or he is being a dick and shutting down.

Yep done it all, now this wasn't a swamp or anything and he probably wouldn't have noticed. I haven't begged, I asked what was wrong. Cried as I was sorry. Not hungover now. Haven't even text him to be fair.

Oh good god get a grip @Oscarbin

Stop apologising and pull yourself together. He has made it clear he has nothing to say to you so stop harping on about upsetting him and leave him too it. It's only on here you get called being silent abusive yet switch it around to a woman you get told to greyrock which is the same thing.

@SakuraEdenSwan1

Oh good god get a grip *@Oscarbin*

Stop apologising and pull yourself together. He has made it clear he has nothing to say to you so stop harping on about upsetting him and leave him too it. It's only on here you get called being silent abusive yet switch it around to a woman you get told to greyrock which is the same thing.

Thank you

I honestly don’t understand why he is getting such a hard time from some posters. As far as I can tell, you got drunk and wet his bed, he responded by having the hump a bit but doing very little else. On the other hand you have been pestering him, vomiting and crying for twenty four hours. I’m not sure I could put up with that.

@Aprilx

I honestly don’t understand why he is getting such a hard time from some posters. As far as I can tell, you got drunk and wet his bed, he responded by having the hump a bit but doing very little else. On the other hand you have been pestering him, vomiting and crying for twenty four hours. I’m not sure I could put up with that.

No pestering, I asked to have a chat. Yes I cried a little but not to the extreme. I just said sorry. Got nothing back and got made to feel like shit.

OK your story is all over the place now. You are either making this up, back tracking so you don't seem so OTT or you generally can't see what your are doing.

He may be a total dick, you may be a twat too. No one here knows.

Work on your self respect and self esteem. Leave him alone now. It's doing no good for either of you. Enjoy your own company. Do things that make you a better person and this will help you feel better in general.

@JungleIsMassive

OK your story is all over the place now. You are either making this up, back tracking so you don't seem so OTT or you generally can't see what your are doing.

He may be a total dick, you may be a twat too. No one here knows.

Work on your self respect and self esteem. Leave him alone now. It's doing no good for either of you. Enjoy your own company. Do things that make you a better person and this will help you feel better in general.

Thank you so much for this.

On to it already

OP, I say this with as much kindness as I can muster: get him binned off, stop being so needy, raise your standards and stop drinking until you're in a better headspace.

You spent all day crying and threw up, because he was being short with you, despite his brother saying you did nothing wrong? Fuck that. Get him kicked to the curb and work on yourself. Work on your self esteem, you're worth more than this.

So you only drank really watered down wine and managed to get so drunk you got black out drunk, something doesn't ring quite true here. Either you are making this up or you took something else.

@wigjuice

So you only drank really watered down wine and managed to get so drunk you got black out drunk, something doesn't ring quite true here. Either you are making this up or you took something else.

Wine and soda yeah. I went to bed. So now looking back I know I haven't done anything.

@Oscarbin

I think I may have wet myself a bit but that's why I am at the gynae tomorrow.

Could be that m?

Any man who pissed in my bed would be dumped. If I could bring myself to even speak to them afterwards.

That could indeed be it.

@wigjuice

So you only drank really watered down wine and managed to get so drunk you got black out drunk, something doesn't ring quite true here. Either you are making this up or you took something else.

She's doing what my victim sister does, she back tracks and slightly changes the story so she comes of more of the victim. Not saying OPs partner isn't in the wrong or OP isn't innocent. But a mixture of mental health issues and low intelligence can make for a bumpy story.

You know I only wanted a little advice.
I am in no way a victim. I have never been a victim.
Yes I was drunk, yes I went to bed. Yes I was sick but this was in my own home and I cried as I was very sorry.
I won't be drinking again, and I will be attending my appointment tomorrow and hope I get the answers

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Any man who pissed in my bed would be dumped. If I could bring myself to even speak to them afterwards.

That could indeed be it.

Wow. That's harsh.

@Oscarbin

You know I only wanted a little advice. I am in no way a victim. I have never been a victim. Yes I was drunk, yes I went to bed. Yes I was sick but this was in my own home and I cried as I was very sorry. I won't be drinking again, and I will be attending my appointment tomorrow and hope I get the answers

You know yourself OP. Just be careful. It's only because you were quite dramatic in your first posts then sort of back tracked and said things weren't as bad.

Anyway. Like I've already said. Look after yourself. He sounds like he's being a dick. Don't lower yourself to it. He'll soon be kicking himself when he realises his games aren't working on you!

Are your kids still with their dad? Are you on any medication that could have fucked with how the wine got you so out of it? Please talk to your doctor about it, it's way more important than getting all upset and focusing on a bloke.

JungleIsMassive Lot's of holes and backtracks to be sure.

[quote JungleIsMassive]@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Any man who pissed in my bed would be dumped. If I could bring myself to even speak to them afterwards.

That could indeed be it.

Wow. That's harsh. [/quote]
I don't want an incontinent male soaking the best part of a grand's worth of mattress, the £120 wool quilt, the £150 memory foam topper, the £230 of bedlinen or anything else with urine. Especially not if it's directly related to him getting shit faced and then followed up by howling and wailing and apologising/demanding cuddles when they claimed they had no idea what they'd done wrong and I was being mean to them.

If a six year old had done it when unwell, no worries. But not a fully grown adult.

Plus you said you think you may have wet yourself and then said you got up and cleaned it up. So do you think or do you actually know? Because why would you clean it up and be only thinking you wet yourself? That doesn't make much sense.

OP how old are you?
You seem quite young but I noticed you have DCs.

You asked him what was wrong and he said nothing so don’t keep on at him as that would annoy me.
I’m sure if you have done something wrong he will let you know so don’t keep apologising just leave it up to him to ring or message you as chances are it’s all in your head.

I don't want an incontinent male soaking the best part of a grand's worth of mattress, the £120 wool quilt, the £150 memory foam topper, the £230 of bedlinen or anything else with urine. Especially not if it's directly related to him getting shit faced and then followed up by howling and wailing and apologising/demanding cuddles when they claimed they had no idea what they'd done wrong and I was being mean to them.

If a six year old had done it when unwell, no worries. But not a fully grown adult.

Yes, fair enough. My bed/bedding cots nothing like that so I imagine it would be very frustrating to spend such a large amount of money for someone to piss on it.

I'm just so glad my DH can look past my bed wetting and still love me!

@JungleIsMassive

I don't want an incontinent male soaking the best part of a grand's worth of mattress, the £120 wool quilt, the £150 memory foam topper, the £230 of bedlinen or anything else with urine. Especially not if it's directly related to him getting shit faced and then followed up by howling and wailing and apologising/demanding cuddles when they claimed they had no idea what they'd done wrong and I was being mean to them.

If a six year old had done it when unwell, no worries. But not a fully grown adult.

Yes, fair enough. My bed/bedding cots nothing like that so I imagine it would be very frustrating to spend such a large amount of money for someone to piss on it.

I'm just so glad my DH can look past my bed wetting and still love me!

I assume you a) don't do it because you're drunk, b) you've paid for half of it in some way because you're married and c) you try and do something to mitigate any accidents, such as appropriate pads or a waterproof sheet?

(not being unpleasant to you at all here - it's a whole different thing when a girlfriend/boyfriend/somebody you're dating shows up for the fortnightly shag, gets blisteringly drunk and then does that, in my mind.)

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I assume you a) don't do it because you're drunk, b) you've paid for half of it in some way because you're married and c) you try and do something to mitigate any accidents, such as appropriate pads or a waterproof sheet?

(not being unpleasant to you at all here - it's a whole different thing when a girlfriend/boyfriend/somebody you're dating shows up for the fortnightly shag, gets blisteringly drunk and then does that, in my mind.)

No no, I agree. Its very different.
Also your bed sounds so luxurious! 🛌

@toocold54

OP how old are you? You seem quite young but I noticed you have DCs.

You asked him what was wrong and he said nothing so don’t keep on at him as that would annoy me.
I’m sure if you have done something wrong he will let you know so don’t keep apologising just leave it up to him to ring or message you as chances are it’s all in your head.

Thank you for that. Will just let him be.

For goodness sake! Stop crying, whingeing, moaning and apologising. He is in the wrong and one apology is enough considering you don't even know what you have done wrong.
I am sorry but you sound pathetic begging, crying and apologising to this horrible man. I wouldn't want to be around someone carrying on like you and would walk away but he is obviously enjoying seeing you grovel, why are you allowing this. If I were your mother I would feel like shaking you!!!

Yeah she has! And I've stop it! Feel much better, and i now know I haven't done anything.