What to do?

[Oscarbin]

Soooo got drunk last night, and woke up and the bf has been awful to me. I remember going to bed and going to sleep.
Now he's ignored me, but I've came over I've poured my heart out, asking what I've done wrong? I've apologised, I don't know what for.
I've never ate all day I've been sick. And I feel bloody awful.
I've cried so much at his and not even a cuddle. I have said sorry soo many times. I don't know what what to do.

(His brother said I was fine last night)

I just don't know.
I can't even face work today.

I have just left the ball in his court. Just saying it wasn't fair, and I haven't slept. Probably won't even get a reply.

Stay strong this is not a healthy relationship. Don't take the responsibility for his childish behaviour. Set a better example for your children

I only had a drink and went to bed. Maybe I have said something untoward. But if I did this isn't right at all.
I have a urgent referral at the gynae tomorrow and I've got that on my mind too.
Which he knows.

He is in the wrong here, not you.
Google “red flags with men” and gaslighting. See what you think after you’ve read a few articles. Instagram is also full of info too

I think I may have wet myself a bit but that's why I am at the gynae tomorrow.

Could be that m?

Ok

Get rid of this prick

2. please go easy o yourself

I used to date a loser like this , he used to take offence if I didn't respond to his messages instantly - silent treatment , me apologising like an idiot

Turns out he was an abuser
Total bastard
Sounds like your soon to be ex

I just don't want no one thinking bad of me, or looking stupid telling people why it's happened?

@Queenie6655

Ok

Get rid of this prick

2. please go easy o yourself

I used to date a loser like this , he used to take offence if I didn't respond to his messages instantly - silent treatment , me apologising like an idiot

Turns out he was an abuser
Total bastard
Sounds like your soon to be ex

He keeps saying "he's fine" but he's obviously not as he's been awful. Doesn't message back or nothing

Firstly, you shouldn’t drink when you have anxiety. You’ve got the beer fear, alcohol makes anxiety so much worse. It’s a natural depressant. It might help you unwind at the time but the after effects of drinking with amplify any negative feelings. I’m a year and a month sober and it’s help my anxiety loads.

Secondly, this man is an utter cunt. He sounds exactly like my ex, using silent treatment is a form of abuse. He’s treating you like shit because you scrabble around grovelling for nothing and he gets off on the power kick. Sitting there sobbing and begging his forgiveness for absolutely nothing is just feeding into this toxic power dynamic. It’s not a relationship. This is not what love looks like.

You don’t live together? You need to dump him and then pull yourself together for your kids sakes. Look at it logically, there was a witness (his brother) who confirms you did nothing terrible. All these hysterics and dramatics are just not needed. And it’s not fair on your children.

Get some rest, dump him and knock the booze on the head for a while.

I hope your hospital appointment goes well

@Prettybubblesintheair mine was the same, it’s only now I can look back and realise it wasn’t normal behaviour. It’s shocking how many men treat women like this.

Yeah I'm just looking for clarity I think

@Prettybubblesintheair

Firstly, you shouldn’t drink when you have anxiety. You’ve got the beer fear, alcohol makes anxiety so much worse. It’s a natural depressant. It might help you unwind at the time but the after effects of drinking with amplify any negative feelings. I’m a year and a month sober and it’s help my anxiety loads.

Secondly, this man is an utter cunt. He sounds exactly like my ex, using silent treatment is a form of abuse. He’s treating you like shit because you scrabble around grovelling for nothing and he gets off on the power kick. Sitting there sobbing and begging his forgiveness for absolutely nothing is just feeding into this toxic power dynamic. It’s not a relationship. This is not what love looks like.

You don’t live together? You need to dump him and then pull yourself together for your kids sakes. Look at it logically, there was a witness (his brother) who confirms you did nothing terrible. All these hysterics and dramatics are just not needed. And it’s not fair on your children.

Get some rest, dump him and knock the booze on the head for a while.

I hope your hospital appointment goes well

No we don't live together, I only see him when they are at their Dads.

Clarity? It’s clear to me and others he is an abusive prick. It’s clear this is causing/ worsening your anxiety. It’s clear that the best thing you can do is end the relationship and block him. You will feel bad, but will be in control of your situation. Then you’ll start to feel better.

@MsPavlichenko

Clarity? It’s clear to me and others he is an abusive prick. It’s clear this is causing/ worsening your anxiety. It’s clear that the best thing you can do is end the relationship and block him. You will feel bad, but will be in control of your situation. Then you’ll start to feel better.

Just want to know where I stand really, want to know what I have actually done! Maybe it's because I wet the bed, but I am at the gynae tomorrow which I am terrified about

@Oscarbin YOU haven’t done anything wrong here.

Repeat after me

I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

Keep on repeating it until you believe it.

Let’s say you did wet the bed, is that reason to give you the silent treatment, to withdraw affection? No

Let’s say you was a bit drunk, is that that reason to give you the silent treatment, to withdraw affection? No

Let’s say you said something untoward, that reason to give you the silent treatment, to withdraw affection? No

This man is SHOWING you what he is like. You cannot change him. Get out now before you involve your children with him. This is not normal relationship behaviour. The fact you can’t seem to see what we all see screams to me that you have issues with your self esteem and self worth. Get rid of him and work on yourself. No man will ever raise your self esteem/self worth, only you can do that. This is why you are settling on a shitty relationship.

He is enjoying watching you twisting yourself into a pretzel, in an effort to get back into his good books .
What kind of person watches someone they supposedly care about , get themselves into such a state . He obviously doesn’t care about you at all , or he would talk to you like an adult and explain why he was upset
Honestly , take the advice of myself and others who have been there . This relationship will always be like this , him on some self serving power trip , and you walking on egg shells trying to second guess his mood , and doing your absolute best trying not to upset him in any way . This is no way to live your life , do you future self a massive favour and get this abusive little cretin out of your life ASAP

@Dontletitbeyou

He is enjoying watching you twisting yourself into a pretzel, in an effort to get back into his good books . What kind of person watches someone they supposedly care about , get themselves into such a state . He obviously doesn’t care about you at all , or he would talk to you like an adult and explain why he was upset Honestly , take the advice of myself and others who have been there . This relationship will always be like this , him on some self serving power trip , and you walking on egg shells trying to second guess his mood , and doing your absolute best trying not to upset him in any way . This is no way to live your life , do you future self a massive favour and get this abusive little cretin out of your life ASAP

My mam is going to ring him to replace his mattress and then, blocking

Christ, just dump the sulking dickhead, who gives a fuck, it’s no loss. Never beg a man for attention again, raise your standards, focus on your kids, do a self confidence course, have some CBT.

@Carbara

Christ, just dump the sulking dickhead, who gives a fuck, it’s no loss. Never beg a man for attention again, raise your standards, focus on your kids, do a self confidence course, have some CBT.

I will be! Don't you worry! The anger is setting In now x

Get rid of him. You deserve better.

Sod his mattress, block and ignore

So let me get this right

Woman gets so drunk she were the bed and vomits, and now has huge hangover. Bloke is pissed off at that and he’s the abusive bad guy?

Ok he should tell you why he’s annoyed and not sulk, but the other way round on here (drunk bloke wets the bed) and she’s told to leave him...

Wets te bed

@BillMasen

So let me get this right

Woman gets so drunk she were the bed and vomits, and now has huge hangover. Bloke is pissed off at that and he’s the abusive bad guy?

Ok he should tell you why he’s annoyed and not sulk, but the other way round on here (drunk bloke wets the bed) and she’s told to leave him...

He hasn't actually mentioned that and I have offered to pay! I think it was more my gynae problem then being mortle.

It's the fact he's being awful to me and saying he's fine, and telling me to shut up when I did start to cry.