Page 4 | What to do?

Oscarbin · 2021-05-16T17:26:51+00:00

Soooo got drunk last night, and woke up and the bf has been awful to me. I remember going to bed and going to sleep. Now he's ignored me, but I've came over I've poured my heart out, asking what I've done wrong? I've apologised, I don't know what for. I've never ate all day I've been sick. And I feel bloody awful. I've cried so much at his and not even a cuddle. I have said sorry soo many times. I don't know what what to do. (His brother said I was fine last night)

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 13:10

Oh and didn't vomit.

I did the next day in my own house, as I was that upset

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anunexaminedlife · 17/05/2021 13:12

What specifically has he done/said that was so awful? It's not clear.

BillMasen · 17/05/2021 13:12

Not disagreeing he’s being a bit unfair by not talking to you about it.

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 13:21

@anunexaminedlife

What specifically has he done/said that was so awful? It's not clear.

Basically just ignoring me. I went to say sorry I got nothing.

I cried as I was so frustrated of what I did it didn't do.

Opened messages, not replying.

Asked him to come with me tomorrow, he won't, and I am scared.

Checked in with his brother to see if I was ok, I was, apologised for to him too.

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Dontletitbeyou · 17/05/2021 13:24

He’s not being a bit unfair .
He’s being an immature , mind game playing little twat .
Leave him to it , good luck to the poor bugger that ends up being his wife .
Good idea to block him op , life’s way to short for this bollocks , it honestly is.

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 13:31

@Dontletitbeyou

He’s not being a bit unfair . He’s being an immature , mind game playing little twat . Leave him to it , good luck to the poor bugger that ends up being his wife . Good idea to block him op , life’s way to short for this bollocks , it honestly is.

Yeah and at least I have agreed to pay for the mattress, well my mam has to let me get shot hahaha!

I have apologised, I have done everything.

If I was nasty fair enough.

But he won't tell me

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anunexaminedlife · 17/05/2021 13:38

I mean, I can't see in anything that you've written that he has done anything awful. You said he has told you he's fine, just tired and hasn't really replied to your messages. It's only been a few hours, how many messages have you sent him? You have gone round to his house and it sounds as if you worked yourself up into hysteria over barely anything, and have been bombarding him in person and by messages. You keep saying that you were crying and sobbing all day. I wouldn't have much time for a partner behaving like this and trying to place responsibility on me for their own well-being. I mean this as kindly as possible but it sounds as if this is about your own issues that you need to deal with (anxiety) and that you are not really in a position to have a relationship as it is destabilising you.

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 13:49

@anunexaminedlife

I mean, I can't see in anything that you've written that he has done anything awful. You said he has told you he's fine, just tired and hasn't really replied to your messages. It's only been a few hours, how many messages have you sent him? You have gone round to his house and it sounds as if you worked yourself up into hysteria over barely anything, and have been bombarding him in person and by messages. You keep saying that you were crying and sobbing all day. I wouldn't have much time for a partner behaving like this and trying to place responsibility on me for their own well-being. I mean this as kindly as possible but it sounds as if this is about your own issues that you need to deal with (anxiety) and that you are not really in a position to have a relationship as it is destabilising you.

When I said he said he was "fine" it's the body language and contact that you rely on, and it was awful.

He just sat and ignored me.

Yes he goes on benders and never gets in touch but I don't mind that, it's how he has spoke to me, and basically being awful

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anunexaminedlife · 17/05/2021 14:37

But how has he spoken to you? You just said he's said he's fine but you don't like his body language.

jojogoesbust · 17/05/2021 14:50

You sound a bit needy and too much hard work crying all day?? The accident with wetting the bed could possibly be Urology? But being drunk wouldn't have helped. I can see why he gave you the cold shoulder initially but now it sounds like he has given up so leave him be

Prettybubblesintheair · 17/05/2021 15:17

Just because you only seem him when the children are at their dads doesn’t mean they aren’t effected by what’s happening in your relationship. Vomiting, crying all day. The hysterics are just so dramatic. I really think you should consider stopping drinking for a while, to help both your gynae issue and your anxiety. Focus on you and your kids, this arsehole is not worth it.

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 15:51

@Prettybubblesintheair

Just because you only seem him when the children are at their dads doesn’t mean they aren’t effected by what’s happening in your relationship. Vomiting, crying all day. The hysterics are just so dramatic. I really think you should consider stopping drinking for a while, to help both your gynae issue and your anxiety. Focus on you and your kids, this arsehole is not worth it.

Yeah they were not there tho. I am a bloody good mother.

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MsPavlichenko · 17/05/2021 15:55

Be a better mother. Bin him off, and get this tosser out of your head. More time to concentrate on you and your DC. Do the Freedom Programme( easy to find online) .

user1471457751 · 17/05/2021 15:56

This all sounds like a lot of drama on your part. If someone pissed in my bed and then when I was hungover kept on badgering me and crying all day, I wouldn't be happy about it. It sounds very attention seeking

user1471457751 · 17/05/2021 15:59

Oh and you should be sorting out the mattress. Not leaving it to him to clean up/getting your mum to contact him to replace

CombatBarbie · 17/05/2021 16:00

Even if you did wet/swamp the bed, it's hardly crime of the century if it's a one off and you seem to have a related gynae issue.
If that's the issue at all??

SunnySpills · 17/05/2021 16:04

Op, probably the best advice you will ever receive is, leave him.
Just walk away and block him. You will never know what was
ailing the passive aggressive, moody bastard.
If you stay with him you'll have years of this treatment. You see, it's working for him.
You're distraught and begging his forgiveness for fuck all.
He's loving it.

You blame yourself for his nastiness and in time your mental health will deteriorate badly. You'll suffer terrible anxiety, worse than you are now.
You'll be on medications, seeing specialists... you'll lose your confidence. Soon, he'll just give you 'that look,' The one where you know the silent treatment begins again. I was you once.

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 16:06

@user1471457751

Oh and you should be sorting out the mattress. Not leaving it to him to clean up/getting your mum to contact him to replace

She did that on her own part. I don't even know if that is the reason. But the money is there for him to get a new one

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Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 16:07

@user1471457751

This all sounds like a lot of drama on your part. If someone pissed in my bed and then when I was hungover kept on badgering me and crying all day, I wouldn't be happy about it. It sounds very attention seeking

It wasn't all day, I was just upset. I don't seek attention, but if I have upset someone I would like to know.

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Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 16:08

@MsPavlichenko

Be a better mother. Bin him off, and get this tosser out of your head. More time to concentrate on you and your DC. Do the Freedom Programme( easy to find online) .

Only thing I know I'm positive about!!

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user1471457751 · 17/05/2021 16:09

@Oscarbin your postaost at 20.21 says you cried all day. That's where I got the impression you cried all day from

rjacksmiss · 17/05/2021 16:10

Is your anxiety always this bad with a hangover? I say this with absolute kindness- get a grip of yourself, remember your worth and pack the drinking in for a bit. It's like a form of self harm. Bin that absolute fanny for a start and concentrate on getting your mental health in check before thinking about anyone else.

Everything is always 10000X worse with a hangover. Why do it to yourself.

xxx

Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 16:13

[quote user1471457751]@Oscarbin your postaost at 20.21 says you cried all day. That's where I got the impression you cried all day from[/quote]
Not to him I didn't! Christ I'm not that needy! I only worry about upsetting people, that is all

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Original poster

Oscarbin · 17/05/2021 16:14

@rjacksmiss

Is your anxiety always this bad with a hangover? I say this with absolute kindness- get a grip of yourself, remember your worth and pack the drinking in for a bit. It's like a form of self harm. Bin that absolute fanny for a start and concentrate on getting your mental health in check before thinking about anyone else.

Everything is always 10000X worse with a hangover. Why do it to yourself.

xxx

Hey thanks for that! I don't even drink! I had some wine as I am stressing about the hospital appointment tomorrow. It was watered down that much with soda I can't believe I was drunk

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JungleIsMassive · 17/05/2021 16:15

OK. So did you clean the mattress and wash bedding when you got up?
Seems very harsh of him to be doing this though. Unless there really isn't anything wrong and your hungover anxiety riden brain is making you think there's a problem? And now he's fed up of the crying and begging?
Or he is being a dick and shutting down.