Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Tinseltangle looking forward to hearing how your dates go!

I'm so glad indoor meeting is an option from tomorrow... My light hooded coat is an old one from matalan that I used to wear all the time pushing the pram around when DS was a baby, def not feeling sexy and date ready in that!

Good luck for the dates @Tinseltangle hope you have some success!
I'm stuck between feeling glum and pretty gutted and "fuck you". He hasn't blocked me and the urge to call him out is so strong. I'm aiming for dignified silence but it's really annoyed me!

Hi everyone,

Hope you're all well.

Good luck for your dates, @Tinsel

Had a really bad night last night, and wasn't able to get out of bed this morning, but at least I've got the VC with Mr. Bookworm later ❤️

Need some advice from you wise ones - had 5/6 dates with someone - not an instant attraction on my part but he is growing on me. Went to his for dinner last night and had a much longer snog than last week and he is rubbish - think trying to bite my lips off - would normally be thinking of DTD at this point but it is really putting me off should I say something? If so. What?? Shame as we get on really well .

Me and Miss Vintage instead changed our plans to meet to today - and if all goes well we’ll be going to golf on Thursday! I’m meant to be meeting her right now but stuck in traffic, she’s got us a seat in an outdoor area and I’m panicking myself because I’m late and we’re in the middle of a torrential downpour!

@Heartbeats0708 How was it left with Mr Polo? Did he just cancel your date and ask to rearrange or did he say he wasn't feeling it and ended the whole thing?

Keep going with the dignified silence, you can call him out on his behaviour but if he isn't aware that being flaky is wrong what hope is there?
If he asks you further down the line why things ended you can always mention the flakiness.
Its crap when someone is flaky but when 2 are in such a short space of time its really hurts deep.

Just take time to be pissed off/annoyed/raging and then move on and don't give them a second thought.

@Letthefunandgamesstart I would give him the benefit of the doubt once more, have another long snog and if its still crap bin him off unless you're not fussed about kissing.
If you're a good kisser he should take your lead and naturally get better.
I've ended a casual sex thing before because the kissing was so dire, think slobbering all over me🤢
I like a lot of kissing during sex so they have to be very good.

@TheTruthAboutLove good luck with your date.

Good luck anyone else with dates 🤞

Sortingitout - yuk to the slobbering ! I like a lot of kissing during sex too - it's not something I've come across before so has thrown me a bit - he's fine elsewhere - just the lips where he falls down - my lips hurt after and that isn't a good thing!! I've been OLD again for a few months now and have had a few dates but starting to get jaded - too many endless chats on and off the apps - seems hard to find someone to actually meet up at the moment. I do have a gorgeous FWB (great kisser) but now want to find something more

Hope you have a fantastic date, @TheTruthAboutLove ❤️

@Letthefunandgamesstart- I agree with @SortingItOut. Give him the benefit of the doubt for now. ❤️

Hi all,

Just had a lovely WhatsApp VC/ date with Mr. Bookworm. He's had a difficult week, unfortunately. But he said that he was really happy and grateful that he got to speak to me, and that I made him feel better, which I thought was really lovely.

He's made me feel all warm inside now ❤️

onwards Mr Bookworm sounds really lovely. So happy for you that things are going so well between you two.

let I fell in love with a bad kisser once. Despite the washing machine action. I told him though, and things improved. You may have to bring it up kindly? Just say what you like and see if he tries it? We all need a bit of guidance once in a while...

@SortingItOut it wasn't left at anything which is what's annoying me the most. We made plans to meet, the day came, radio silence. Not a word since. I know there's no going back for me anyway but just the decency to call it would have been polite!

@WeWantTheFinestWines

onwards Mr Bookworm sounds really lovely. So happy for you that things are going so well between you two.

let I fell in love with a bad kisser once. Despite the washing machine action. I told him though, and things improved. You may have to bring it up kindly? Just say what you like and see if he tries it? We all need a bit of guidance once in a while...

Thank you so much, @WeWantTheFinestWines. I really appreciate that ❤️

[quote Heartbeats0708]@SortingItOut it wasn't left at anything which is what's annoying me the most. We made plans to meet, the day came, radio silence. Not a word since. I know there's no going back for me anyway but just the decency to call it would have been polite![/quote]
@Heartbeats0708 that's appalling! I would be so angry if that happened to me. I don't know why some people have to be so rude

Sending you lots of support

@Heartbeats0708 That is truly shit, definitely ignore and if he comes back then you can tell him he's a knob😂

Had you met him before or was this date zero?

It would've been date 4 @SortingItOut having dtd last time. I've been ghosted before but before meeting which was bad enough, but this really stings!
Thanks @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I am really angry but then wobble and feel sad. This one got under my skin and I think it could've been good.

@Heartbeats0708

It would've been date 4 *@SortingItOut* having dtd last time. I've been ghosted before but before meeting which was bad enough, but this really stings! Thanks *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* I am really angry but then wobble and feel sad. This one got under my skin and I think it could've been good.

@Heartbeats0708 it's completely natural to feel like that. I've been there too. ❤️

Look after yourself and just take some time for yourself this evening

@Heartbeats0708, he’s totally out of order. It’s easy for us to say as our emotions are not involved but he’s really genuinely not worth any further thought. Ghosting is the rudest and unnecessarily harshest way to step away from someone. He’s a fuckwit.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, your posts make me feel all warm and maternal 😂 Mr Bookworm sounds so lovely. I’ve got a good feeling about this one 🤞🏼💕

@Heartbeats0708 I hope the sex was good so you can at least say the last time you met you had great sex.
Being ghosted after being intimate definitely stings a lot.

He sounds like he's immature if he can just ghost after intimacy.

I know you're right @Onesmallstep67 and if these pesky emotions would just do one I'd be fine! I can't even say I overinvested (might have a little but you'd think a bit of investment was okay after so long talking plus dates).
I'm lucky(?) enough to never have been ditched post dtd before and didn't realise how much it hurt! He played a v long game if that's all he was after.

Cross posted there @SortingItOut.
I've had better 😂😂 but was looking forward to doing more and refining it a bit.
I just liked him as a person as well. But it's a really shit move.

[quote Onesmallstep67]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, your posts make me feel all warm and maternal 😂 Mr Bookworm sounds so lovely. I’ve got a good feeling about this one 🤞🏼💕[/quote]
Aw, thanks @Onesmallstep67 so have I! ❤️👍🏻😘

@Letthefunandgamesstart
My ex was a terrible kisser at first but we had built up such a connection over the phone for quite a long time that it didn't put me off...and he soon adapted to my style and our kissing was amazing. You could ask him to slow down and then take the lead and kiss him in exactly the way you like, then hopefully he will get into your rhythm a bit. You don't need to say "you're a terrible kisser" but maybe "it feels a bit intense/forceful" if he asks. The more you kiss the better it will get I'm sure.

But it's hard when he's only just started growing on you! And it is really bloody disappointing isn't it! Fingers crossed you can work on it x