Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Onesmallstep67 - possibly date number 2 on Saturday - he is keen to take me out again ! Maybe a pub or something for a drink. I’m not used to being wined and dined .

[quote Isitreallyme77]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards he likes doing things the old fashioned way, meeting someone and getting to know them in person(he mentioned it the other day). Which I completely get.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme77 I think that's really good, actually. You don't meet many people like that nowadays. I would take his lead, keep talking to him and see how things go ❤️

@Shayelle2009 Yes that's what I'm thinking too. It's quite refreshing after Mr Transfer who was a constant messenger, even first thing in the morning.

[quote Onesmallstep67]@VanGoghsDog, hope you managed to dodge the showers.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, keep meaning to say that I am as happy as everyone else on here to hear that your first in person date is on the cards with Mr Bookworm 💕
@Dancerinthemoonlight, I shouldn’t maybe judge everyone by the boomerang blokes in my life but they usually reappear when they have exhausted other options. I’m glad that you feel like you have evolved in terms of what you are looking for and have kept your needs at the forefront of your mind.
@GaraMedouar, is there curry round 2 on the cards ?[/quote]
@Onesmallstep67 thank you 💕💕💕💕💕

[quote Shayelle2009]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards i think we are all totally invested in your first date with mr bookworm!! 💘💘[/quote]
@Shayelle2009 thank you. I feel so lucky to have met so many lovely and supportive people on these threads 💘💘

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes I do too. If I saw someone in a pub I wouldn't spend days messaging and when I last dated (18 years ago now) it was arrange a date, maybe call in between and then again to check it was still going ahead. I quite like this way of thinking.

Date was nice enough. Walk in a local country park, about halfway between us.
Weather kind to start but hailed and poured on us at the end.

He brought cupcakes and gave me a mini bottle of Prosecco, which was a bit odd because I couldn't drink it due to driving and felt a bit odd taking it home but it was a nice idea.

He's OK. Has a 7yo girl he has 50% so that's unusual for people my age.

Not very dynamic. Obviously liked me, told me I was interesting, intelligent, attractive and "obviously well to do" (sounds like an aging aunt!).

He's a chef which is always nice!
He went for a kiss at the end but I turned to the side. Still Covid wary, can't be kissing him within a week of snogging MrWG.

He's texted to ask to meet again.

Obviously MrWG is constantly on my mind so it's going to take a lot to shift that! MrWG has initiated messaging a couple of times recently which is good.

I'm not available any evening until Thu next week, nor over this weekend, now, so I don't need to think about either of them for a while!

[quote Isitreallyme77]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes I do too. If I saw someone in a pub I wouldn't spend days messaging and when I last dated (18 years ago now) it was arrange a date, maybe call in between and then again to check it was still going ahead. I quite like this way of thinking.[/quote]
Totally! You just got on with your week knowing there was a treat come Friday or Saturday

@VanGoghsDog

Date was nice enough. Walk in a local country park, about halfway between us. Weather kind to start but hailed and poured on us at the end. He brought cupcakes and gave me a mini bottle of Prosecco, which was a bit odd because I couldn't drink it due to driving and felt a bit odd taking it home but it was a nice idea.

He's OK. Has a 7yo girl he has 50% so that's unusual for people my age.

Not very dynamic. Obviously liked me, told me I was interesting, intelligent, attractive and "obviously well to do" (sounds like an aging aunt!).

He's a chef which is always nice!
He went for a kiss at the end but I turned to the side. Still Covid wary, can't be kissing him within a week of snogging MrWG.

He's texted to ask to meet again.

Obviously MrWG is constantly on my mind so it's going to take a lot to shift that! MrWG has initiated messaging a couple of times recently which is good.

I'm not available any evening until Thu next week, nor over this weekend, now, so I don't need to think about either of them for a while!

Sounds good, pleased it went well ... could be worth a second date? 😊

@VanGoghsDog - sounds like a good date - and bonus bottle of Prosecco and cupcakes - perfect!

Yes, I've said let's meet for a drink if the weather is up to it. I'm not going inside until three weeks after my second jab, which is Wednesday.

He's a big football fan, that's usually a no from me. A bit of football is OK. Massive fan, not so much. He asked me if I watch football. Er, no.

@BelladiMamma my ex and I used to meet after work on a Wednesday and then at the weekend. We did talk on the phone most nights but never constant texts. You're right it was a nice treat when we did see each other as we had stuff to talk about.

@VanGoghsDog it sounds like it went well. Will you see him again?

[quote Isitreallyme77]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes I do too. If I saw someone in a pub I wouldn't spend days messaging and when I last dated (18 years ago now) it was arrange a date, maybe call in between and then again to check it was still going ahead. I quite like this way of thinking.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme77 I do too. 👍🏻 I hope that it goes well for you ❤️

I've said yes to meeting up next week for a drink.

Though, his actions have highlighted an issue with OLD that I have been formulating a response to for a while.

He said originally "I just want a friend, have a drink, see how it goes". I said OK.

Tonight he says something about "first date". I said it's not a date
Texting this evening he said something about will this drink be a date then?
So I sent him a screenshot of his Tinder message saying he wants a friend and said "given this, why would it be a date?"
He said because he likes me.
I said well, that moved fast!

Anyway, I think people saying they are looking for a friend and see how it goes are being dishonest. Because if I say to this guy now that I just want to be friends, now he "likes" me, he's not going to be keen on that, is he?

Plus, I do not need any more friends anyway, with Neckkisser and Decorator I'm juggling enough, and that's without MrWG (who actually is a friend).
But why does he get to now decide it's moved from "friend" to "date"? It's annoying!

He sounds sensible to me isitreally with the messaging

@bangheadhere40

He sounds sensible to me isitreally with the messaging

Yes, I quite like the sound of not having to think of something interesting to say in response to "Morning!" at 8am every bloody day!

😆

Thanks everyone, it's put my mind at ease. I shall message on Wednesday just to confirm with him and if he messages tomorrow I'll respond obviously but I won't worry too much. 😁

As I said earlier Mr Transfer was too much for me last week and yet Computer Geek and I used to message throughout the day.

placemarking again!

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards ahh I know, that’s how I feel too.. I love posting and chatting on here and everyone’s lovely 🥰 plus there are some really wise ladies (and gents!) whose advice I personally find invaluable!

@Isitreallyme77 fingers crossed for Mr Cricket, are you going to meet up, has he said anything about a plan?

@GaraMedouar that’s a nice feeling that someone’s keen to go out again! You’re brave eating in front of someone new, I think id struggle with that! (Love food though.. haha)

@VanGoghsDog because he fancies you, I reckon they initially say they just want a ‘friend’ as a get out of jail free if they meet up with someone and they're not interested.

Hey everyone! Life has been so hectic that I haven't opened Mumsnet in so long! Hope you're all doing okay. Got some exciting news that I had to share with you....I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND! I feel 13 even writing that but yeah..me and MrImpressions made it official last night after two months of dating and it just feeling right. I remember posting on here after date one saying we were like magnets and I'd never experienced it before..it's still the same about 15 dates later. Can't believe I've actually been so lucky and found something like this on tinder - esp when I only downloaded it looking for a bit of fun! Hope this gives you all some hope that there is decent men on there. X

@Shayelle2009 meeting Mr Cricket for coffee on Thursday at 3pm. There is a nice coffee shop we can go to (service is crap but the actual place is nice and not a Costa or Starbucks). Now just have to work out what to wear, I'm a jeans and trainers girl and my go to outfit would be jeans, trainers and my cricket jumper, but don't think a cricket jumper would be appropriate for a date with someone who plays cricket. 🤦‍♀️

@havecourage8bekind - fantastic news - so pleased for you - gives me hope!!!!

@Isitreallyme77 - hope your date with Mr Cricket goes well on Thursday

[quote Shayelle2009]@VanGoghsDog because he fancies you, I reckon they initially say they just want a ‘friend’ as a get out of jail free if they meet up with someone and they're not interested.[/quote]
Exactly. It's dishonest and unrealistic.