Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I hear you loud and clear @Onesmallstep67 and I have thought about it a lot. I think deep down we have both changed a lot from the people we were when we first met. Both gone through some pretty major changes in life/work/home situations.
I know he broke a boundary. And the biggest thing holding us back is whether or not I'll be able to let that go. However, I haven't behaved brilliantly either.
We haven't decided either way yet and need to have a long and frank conversation about expectations, what we want and if we're on the same page. But I think that's best saved for when we can see each other in person. No guarantees yet.

Ooooh nice @Isitreallyme77. Hopefully he’s not @bangheadhere40’s ex!!! 😮

Good luck for Thursday @Isitreallyme77! 🙂

Hang in there, @Dancer. I know it's hard, but you'll get there ❤️

Sending you love, @Heartbeats ❤️

Walk date, I've just parked and it's pelting down! 😂

Ha Shayelle now that would be amusing 😆

Thanks for the advice a few days ago. I've plunged in and wow it seems difficult to get any matches out there. Think I need to try and get a friend to take decent photos - most of the recent ones of me are with kids or ex so can't put them up!

Have been chatting to two women though.
Miss Nurse is similar position to myself in fairly recent break up. Been chatting lots, and planning to meet in a few weeks. Not sure at the moment - we seem very sexually compatible which is great, but not sure how much we have in common otherwise.
Miss Abba I feel more of a connection with. Had a fun evening on Saturday messaging about Eurovision, and still chatting since.
Also ended up matching with someone who lives on my estate - I don't know her myself but we have lots of mutual acquaintances. I can imagine the gossip... Haven't messaged yet, but don't really know what to say as it's a bit weird! Think we might have both swiped right out of curiousity.

Just had another message from Mr Dimples. For those of you new to the thread I went on a first date with him on Valentines Day last year. Texted a little afterwards and it faded as he wouldn't travel to see me.
Had the odd text off him since then asking when he can see me but he never followed through as I wouldn't travel to see him.
Apparently he is ready to see me now 🙄 I don't really know what to respond. I am in a totally different place in my life now, he appealed to the old me and doesn't so much to the new me

dancer it's a tricky one. I wouldn't "settle" because as you said earlier you have no irons, but perhaps you could start afresh with Mr Dimples? I'd be tempted to say something like 'ive changed a bit since we last saw each other, maybe we can start over and see how we do?'. Just a thought.

But clearly I'm big on second chances at the moment 🤣

@Dancerinthemoonlight

Just had another message from Mr Dimples. For those of you new to the thread I went on a first date with him on Valentines Day last year. Texted a little afterwards and it faded as he wouldn't travel to see me. Had the odd text off him since then asking when he can see me but he never followed through as I wouldn't travel to see him. Apparently he is ready to see me now 🙄 I don't really know what to respond. I am in a totally different place in my life now, he appealed to the old me and doesn't so much to the new me

@Dancerinthemoonlight I wouldn't respond. I'd be worried about being him changing his mind again personally. As you say, you're in a totally different place now. Do you really need this flake in your life now? ❤️

@Shayelle2009 haha hopefully not

I responded basically saying that I'm in a different place in my life and wished him well in his search.
I then had to spell it out for him that he wasn't what I was looking for anymore and to date others. In his mind that automatically meant im in a relationship.

He was really funny about me needing a other wrist operation when we met so goodness knows how he would have reacted to my many visible wrist scars.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards you are completely correct. If he has flaked before the chances are he would do it again.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I responded basically saying that I'm in a different place in my life and wished him well in his search. I then had to spell it out for him that he wasn't what I was looking for anymore and to date others. In his mind that automatically meant im in a relationship.

He was really funny about me needing a other wrist operation when we met so goodness knows how he would have reacted to my many visible wrist scars.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards you are completely correct. If he has flaked before the chances are he would do it again.

@Dancerinthemoonlight ❤️❤️❤️

Hope you've had fun @VanGoghsDog!

Can someone help me, so Mr Cricket says he isn't one for messaging. Does that mean I shouldn't message at all? I'm so confused.

I wouldn't say don't message at all I think just keep it short and maybe just use messages to arrange actual meet ups rather than to gain knowledge from etc. Does he like calls?

@Isitreallyme77, has there been any contact today ? When is the date scheduled for? Some people are quite happy to not communicate until the day before the date just to check in that it’s going ahead. I’d take my lead from him but as you say you like to message a lot that might be a challenge for you. At this stage I would usually have been talking to several matches so not too focused on only the one chat.

@Isitreallyme77

Can someone help me, so Mr Cricket says he isn't one for messaging. Does that mean I shouldn't message at all? I'm so confused.

@Isitreallyme77 I would interpret it as saying he doesn't like messaging. Does he like talking on the phone? ❤️

Thanks @frankiefirstyear and @Onesmallstep67 yes had messages today and arranged for Thursday no place set yet, so will think about that. Will take his lead on it now. I think he doesn't do all the getting to know you messages that a lot seem to want to do.

@VanGoghsDog, hope you managed to dodge the showers.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, keep meaning to say that I am as happy as everyone else on here to hear that your first in person date is on the cards with Mr Bookworm 💕
@Dancerinthemoonlight, I shouldn’t maybe judge everyone by the boomerang blokes in my life but they usually reappear when they have exhausted other options. I’m glad that you feel like you have evolved in terms of what you are looking for and have kept your needs at the forefront of your mind.
@GaraMedouar, is there curry round 2 on the cards ?

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards he likes doing things the old fashioned way, meeting someone and getting to know them in person(he mentioned it the other day). Which I completely get.

I find it monotonous with the messages at times so maybe he just wants something 'real'

I wouldn’t take it personally @Isitreallyme77, probably just wants to meet you in person without lots of irritating messages when he’s trying to get on with his day! (That’s me anyway!)

Hope your date’s going good @VanGoghsDog

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards i think we are all totally invested in your first date with mr bookworm!! 💘💘