Dating thread 204 - surfing the SeaofTwits

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

[quote Bbub]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes the job is in the name and similar to yours he started off being very keen. But it's impossible to plan anything with him and he's so slow to reply it's totally off putting.

Coincidentally, my other iron is a doctor as well (with an interest in surgery 🙄). I don't want either of these men for a relationship as I've been there done that with the whole Mr my job is so important thing, but can't even seem to plan a 1st date. They are both good at initiating convo but then leaving it hanging which just isn't for me. Might ditch them both.

@springlikebunk glad it's not just me, it's definitely weird for a 1st date..10pm on a school night 😳

Thanks both for the replies I didn't think anyone would be up 😆[/quote]
@Bbub if you feel like this, I would think about ditching them. I understand that they have important jobs, but being so slow to reply to a message would piss me off, personally.

I once had a iron with a busy who didn't reply to my messages or talk to me for a weeks

[quote Bbub]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes the job is in the name and similar to yours he started off being very keen. But it's impossible to plan anything with him and he's so slow to reply it's totally off putting.

Coincidentally, my other iron is a doctor as well (with an interest in surgery 🙄). I don't want either of these men for a relationship as I've been there done that with the whole Mr my job is so important thing, but can't even seem to plan a 1st date. They are both good at initiating convo but then leaving it hanging which just isn't for me. Might ditch them both.

@springlikebunk glad it's not just me, it's definitely weird for a 1st date..10pm on a school night 😳

Thanks both for the replies I didn't think anyone would be up 😆[/quote]
@Bbub sorry, accidentally pressed send too early on my last message to you.

... I once had an iron with a busy job who didn't reply to my messages for a week. Needless to say, I finished it with him.

He was really Keen and made an effort at first, then things slowly faded once we were properly talking.

They've put themselves out there on the dating apps, so they should be prepared to communicate with people.

Sorry if I sound judgey on this, it's just that people like this really annoy me.

So whoops moment I blocked Mr Racing on WhatsApp and forgot to unmatch on Tinder, he messaged to say it looks like you blocked me as your profile picture wasn't showing 🤦‍♀️. I'm so not used to this.

@Isitreallyme77

So whoops moment I blocked Mr Racing on WhatsApp and forgot to unmatch on Tinder, he messaged to say it looks like you blocked me as your profile picture wasn't showing 🤦‍♀️. I'm so not used to this.

@Isitreallyme77 I think you can unblock him on the WhatsApp settings menu ❤️

@bangheadhere40

isitreally did I read on another thread Mr Racing has been sending dick pics and saying you are hard work ? You don't sound keen and he sounds a bit of a knob if it's the same one so cancel him.without feeling guilty.

Ugh! I would cut of ties with him if that's the case ❤️

[quote Bbub]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes the job is in the name and similar to yours he started off being very keen. But it's impossible to plan anything with him and he's so slow to reply it's totally off putting.

Coincidentally, my other iron is a doctor as well (with an interest in surgery 🙄). I don't want either of these men for a relationship as I've been there done that with the whole Mr my job is so important thing, but can't even seem to plan a 1st date. They are both good at initiating convo but then leaving it hanging which just isn't for me. Might ditch them both.

@springlikebunk glad it's not just me, it's definitely weird for a 1st date..10pm on a school night 😳

Thanks both for the replies I didn't think anyone would be up 😆[/quote]
On my last round of OLD I also had two doctors and juts gave up on them. Did it even bother I matching I just stopped chasing. I understand people have demanding roles but they need to spend tile with me and show me they're worth it before I start lowering my expectations😁

[quote Slothmomma]@bbub the married to the job thing would put me off too. Been there, done that with ex dh and I am left resenting all the things he made me do alone because his job was more important- including being rushed to hospital losing our first child and needing lifesaving surgery - he arrived after work though 🤦‍♀️😣[/quote]
Omg my ex husband isn't even in an emergency job category but not this sounds familiar - daughter rushed to hospital and hospital call him, he turns up at midnight cos he was 'tied up with lawyers'. One of many examples 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Isitreallyme77

So whoops moment I blocked Mr Racing on WhatsApp and forgot to unmatch on Tinder, he messaged to say it looks like you blocked me as your profile picture wasn't showing 🤦‍♀️. I'm so not used to this.

Ignore. I've had this a couple of times and then tried to justify myself. Pointless really. Although you could say dick pics are a no no then block

Next time MrPM messages I’m sending this at him

It’s all “technically” ok I just want to know what we’re doing or if we’re meeting so I can make bookings etc

I rationally know it’s fine until it’s not, I’m just being a bit needy and attention craving

DID THOSE PLEASANT 3-4 HOURS WE SPENT TOGETHER MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!!!!!

(I’m unleashing my inner needy twat with abandonment issues on this thread rather than at him)

@SpringlikeBunk

DID THOSE PLEASANT 3-4 HOURS WE SPENT TOGETHER MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!!!!!

(I’m unleashing my inner needy twat with abandonment issues on this thread rather than at him)

Oh I feeeeeel you. I'm the same. I love a good needy sesh.

I could just randomly have my WhatsApp as a needy bear, see if he gets the hint.

@BelladiMamma

Lol I’m still at the nice/rational communication stage till I’m sucked in and the feelz hit

The thing is because of his work schedule (it’s a sociable role as well - I wfh and have like two zoom meetings a week!) I imagine he’s hardly had time to breath much whereas I’m sat here analysing him like 🤔🤔🤔🤔🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

I do think I’d want someone fairly “sorted” as in fulfilling job and interests and a social life they wouldn’t just drop for me so I have to accept they won’t be glued to their phone all the time!

Arguably I could get myself a nice sensible local date or three rather than all this long distance malarkey but I think part of me prefers the yearning etc!

Plus arguably if things did progress when I move his home will be closer to me than a local lover?

(Overplanning hat on here probably going to get ghosted 👻)

@Slothmomma Oh I'm so sorry you went through that ❤️ it seems we are not alone in having these married to the job types as EX husbands.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards ha be a ls judgey as you like! I 100% agree with you. I feel like replying along the lines of get some bloody social skills before you start trying to date?! I don't give a crap how important someone's job is, it's not my problem..

@BelladiMamma my ex husband isn't in an emergency category either but any stretch but is along the same lines, it's all in his head!

I despair of these men I really do!

[quote Bbub]**@Slothmomma* Oh I'm so sorry you went through that ❤️ it seems we are not alone in having these married to the job types as EX* husbands.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards ha be a ls judgey as you like! I 100% agree with you. I feel like replying along the lines of get some bloody social skills before you start trying to date?! I don't give a crap how important someone's job is, it's not my problem..

@BelladiMamma my ex husband isn't in an emergency category either but any stretch but is along the same lines, it's all in his head!

I despair of these men I really do![/quote]
@Bbub I absolutely agree with you

@SpringlikeBunk it's frustrating waiting to make plans isn't it!! And I'm in the same boat as you WFH with plennnnty of time to analyse things.

I'm sure you won't get ghosted! 😩😂

So I replied to Mr Surgeon "are you serious" when he suggested a 10pm date and he just replied (8hours later which is quick for him) "I was being serious. I finish late on Wednesday. You said 9 it's not that much later".

He's got a point but still think he's being a PITA. Pubs around us all shut at 11pm so it will be a quick one 😅 but I might go I've got nothing better to do after Zumba.

@Bbub

So I replied to Mr Surgeon "are you serious" when he suggested a 10pm date and he just replied (8hours later which is quick for him) "I was being serious. I finish late on Wednesday. You said 9 it's not that much later".

He's got a point but still think he's being a PITA. Pubs around us all shut at 11pm so it will be a quick one 😅 but I might go I've got nothing better to do after Zumba.

@Bbub it's not much later for him maybe, but I'm sure you have a life of your own. I Still think it's a pain in the arse him expecting you to meet him that late.

Good luck if you're meeting him though, hopefully he'll be a bit nicer in person ❤️

@Bbub

So I replied to Mr Surgeon "are you serious" when he suggested a 10pm date and he just replied (8hours later which is quick for him) "I was being serious. I finish late on Wednesday. You said 9 it's not that much later".

He's got a point but still think he's being a PITA. Pubs around us all shut at 11pm so it will be a quick one 😅 but I might go I've got nothing better to do after Zumba.

So long as it's out out it's probably fine. Wouldn't go to his for Netflix n chill non merci

Joining you with the exh's with huge sense of self importance. It's good to be committed and take pride in your work, but not to neglect your family in the process!
All quiet on the irons front for me. Lightly chatting with an old fwb but I'm not ready for any of that yet, so emphasis is on the 'f'

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

Lol I’m still at the nice/rational communication stage till I’m sucked in and the feelz hit

The thing is because of his work schedule (it’s a sociable role as well - I wfh and have like two zoom meetings a week!) I imagine he’s hardly had time to breath much whereas I’m sat here analysing him like 🤔🤔🤔🤔🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

I do think I’d want someone fairly “sorted” as in fulfilling job and interests and a social life they wouldn’t just drop for me so I have to accept they won’t be glued to their phone all the time!

Arguably I could get myself a nice sensible local date or three rather than all this long distance malarkey but I think part of me prefers the yearning etc!

Plus arguably if things did progress when I move his home will be closer to me than a local lover?

(Overplanning hat on here probably going to get ghosted 👻)[/quote]
Oh feeling for you so much!

Over planner ✅
Over investor ✅
Over romantic ✅
Over tolerant ✅
Hopelessly connected after DTD ✅

HOWEVER I'm clearly finally seeing the dividends of years of therapy as I genuinely think Mr Bear 🐻 is a good 'un. Stays in touch, always suggesting and following up on next dates, everything evolving at a suitably good pace ie not too much not too little.

Clearly I should be paying my therapist a bonus for all this good stuff 😆

@Heartbeats0708

Joining you with the exh's with huge sense of self importance. It's good to be committed and take pride in your work, but not to neglect your family in the process! All quiet on the irons front for me. Lightly chatting with an old fwb but I'm not ready for any of that yet, so emphasis is on the 'f'

Did they all go to the same anally retentive single sex private school that my ex h did?

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes I will give it this 1 chance but only cause I suggested the late time first, but normally, like most of us I'm guessing, I'd be tucked up on the sofa in my bloody pyjamas by 10pm! 😴 Hes only 28 so probably has plenty of energy unlike me.

@BelladiMamma oh yeah fuck that non merci indeed 😅 meeting for a drink. There's one place thats open late which I'll suggest if we are getting on and if not we can call time at 11

[quote Bbub]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yes I will give it this 1 chance but only cause I suggested the late time first, but normally, like most of us I'm guessing, I'd be tucked up on the sofa in my bloody pyjamas by 10pm! 😴 Hes only 28 so probably has plenty of energy unlike me.

@BelladiMamma oh yeah fuck that non merci indeed 😅 meeting for a drink. There's one place thats open late which I'll suggest if we are getting on and if not we can call time at 11[/quote]
That makes sense, @Bbub. Hope you have a great time. Look forward to hearing how it goes ❤️