Turn on or not?

[Beadsandfelts]

DH says the following type of things to me and I don’t really like it, but I don’t know if it’s how men in relationships talk to women and if most women would like it?

• I want to slip you a length
• I’ve got a present for you in my trousers
• get your knickers off and lie back and think of England for three minutes
• I want to knock the back out of you
• you’re mine and no one else gets a go on you
• this is a nice piece of ass
• once I’ve had the snip you’ll be like my little sex slave

It gives me the ick. I actually think it’s more than that, I feel like I’m property.

Trust me, it isn't you, and most men absolutely do not talk to their partners like this. Has he always said these things?

Is he shit in bed? He sounds shit in bed.

Oh dear. I don't mind a silly/smutty comment from DP in jest (or indeed in the heat of the moment) but the wording and sentiment of those you detail is ick.

I think whether they're 'threatening' or just clumsy, poorly thought through and frankly a bit rough (I mean rough as in 'round the edges', not violent) depends on the nature of your DH, and only you can know that.

Have you told him you don't like those phrases?

@DrSbaitso

Is he shit in bed? He sounds shit in bed.

This.

@Beadsandfelts

Yeah me too category He still thinks it’s funny that he went into McDonald’s when he was in his 20s and he and his mates said to the woman serving ‘kate? That’s a nice name. What’s your other tit called?’ because her name badge was on one of her breasts.

I might have to hide this thread because if I hear any more of this, he might actually ruin sex for me forever.

What on earth attracts you to this Darwinian nightmare? What's the point of him other than as walking contraception even for people who don't know him?

Ive heard the “nice piece of ass” from DH and didnt really mind it.. the rest is just weird!

What did you say to him when he joked about a woman's breast being labelled Kate?

I can't imagine a partner saying this to me and if they did they would then not be my partner.

He's a disgusting misogynistic pig who basically hates women.

I couldn't stay married to him. You deserve better

The Kate comment is jaw droppingly vile. Its just not normal to think like that!

How uncouth. And vaguely violent. It reminds of that charming descriptive “smash her back doors in”

Don’t tell me. He’s a heavy porn user.

This isn't normal. Agree with previous poster - is he useless in bed?

I don’t think he uses porn.
Yes he has always spoken like this 🤢

Ew, made me feel sick reading those and would be a massive turn off for me

@Beadsandfelts He uses porn. There's no way a guy like this doesn't.

What made you marry him? Because he honestly sounds repellent. Were you very young?

Is he awful in bed? He sounds like a man who would be a terrible lover.

I was young.
I don’t think he uses porn. I don’t think he gets the chance.

Do you want to stay married? How long have you been together?

You deserve better than this. You really do

I don't understand how he got to the 'husband' stage. I was young, too, but this would have dropped my libido to Middle Earth even there. He sounds rough as the back end of a bus. Yuk. As for now, he'd be an ex.

Nor me really now osbert

Yep, agreed, grim.

Revolting and crude. If this is his idea of foreplay then he's clearly shit in bed.

He'd not get the chance to demonstrate if he was with me.

I am cringing at the thought of him.

@Beadsandfelts

Nor me really now osbert

It's quite despairing to consider living the rest of your life with an oik like this, tbh. I think I'd rather be on my own than with a man like this. I think perhaps you're seeing now he's quite low-rent and ick.

You don't have to live this way, op. I certainly wouldn't.

No it's not normal. He sounds really creepy and possessive.
Tell him you don't like him talking like that and if he persists, then sex is soooo not going to happen. Is he possessive about you in other ways?
Can you wear what you like without comment, go out with mates etc?