Turn on or not?

[Beadsandfelts]

DH says the following type of things to me and I don’t really like it, but I don’t know if it’s how men in relationships talk to women and if most women would like it?

• I want to slip you a length
• I’ve got a present for you in my trousers
• get your knickers off and lie back and think of England for three minutes
• I want to knock the back out of you
• you’re mine and no one else gets a go on you
• this is a nice piece of ass
• once I’ve had the snip you’ll be like my little sex slave

It gives me the ick. I actually think it’s more than that, I feel like I’m property.

Literally felt my vagina dry up reading the things your H says @Beadsandfelts

for you. Please LTB

Have you told him, very, very clearly, to stop saying these things?

He sounds vile! Horrible and misogynistic.I think he has little respect for females and for you sadly .You are much too good for him .(Tell me are his knuckles sore from being dragged on the floor so much?!) I thought Cavemen had died out .Sadly not, and the horrible comment to the youngster in McDonalds is reprehensible .

get your knickers off and lie back and think of England for three minutes

Why? Are you going to do it six times?

Oh OP. Stop wasting what's left of your life and kick him out.

He clearly hates women or thinks they're purely here for his gratification. What an utterly disgusting POS.

Divorces are easy and cheap. Mental wellness and a life without a misogynist is priceless.

At least you don't need to worry about him charming any other woman, I'm surprised you ever got with him with those lines.
So cringey and shame you're missing out on making love, he sees you as a piece of ass

That's not talking dirty, that's simply insulting you

Sex isn’t great tbh, it does probably only last three minutes. He’s never done oral sex, doesn’t like it - which is fair enough. I’m not going to expect him to do something he doesn’t like - but foreplay generally is pretty non-existent. There’s nothing to make up for that.
It is that I feel like an object, not in a mutual partnership that I don’t like.
Unfortunately dc are involved so a divorce wouldn’t be cheap or easy.

Some men get off on trash talk, if you can run with it, fair enough.

So you’re basically a masturbation aid? I fail to see what you get out of this relationship!

@Beadsandfelts

Sex isn’t great tbh, it does probably only last three minutes. He’s never done oral sex, doesn’t like it - which is fair enough. I’m not going to expect him to do something he doesn’t like - but foreplay generally is pretty non-existent. There’s nothing to make up for that. It is that I feel like an object, not in a mutual partnership that I don’t like. Unfortunately dc are involved so a divorce wouldn’t be cheap or easy.

Maybe not, but it's necessary. You can't have your kids around this repellent prick. You can't have yourself around him.

Why did you marry a man who does this? Or was he completely different throughout your courtship and engagement?

Oh no, I just read that the sex is abusive, too.

I'm bewildered. Did you not sleep with him before marriage?

No foreplay/lovemaking and a quickie for him every time is ABUSE. He's just using you to masturbate.

You need to get out of this marriage and meet someone better.

He sounds more like an immature sexually inexperienced 18 teenager than an adult man.

He's from your description shite in bed and lazy;it's all about him.

I couldn't put up with bad unsatisfactory lazy sex and the shite he comes out with.

I think he thinks it’s funny— maybe some women would find it sexy/funny— but I must admit I personally don’t know anyone who would

Unfortunately dc are involved so a divorce wouldn’t be cheap or easy.

It would be excellent tho. Really recommend divorce

No my DH doesn't use this kind of 'sexy talk' at all - it's more intimate, discreet and complimentary and I'm okay with it because I haven't said I'm not.
OP, he's your husband FGS, just tell him it really turns you OFF sex. It's that simple.

OP,

He sounds so coarse, dragged up.

AkA, really grim.

Never met nor heard of a man speaking to a woman like that, not normal at all.

God help you that you thought he was husband material.

Never too late to wake up, grow up, and develop standards.

He really is the dregs.

You deserve better.

OP, for one moment don't imagine the separation and divorce aspect of this, instead imagine that had happened a year ago, 2 years, 3 years...how different would it feel not to be insulted and used?

You can postpone the actual period of separation because it is painful to go through but, if you do go down this route, once things settle back down you get the rest of your life not to have to hear his sick comments and lie still while he uses you.

There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with any of these if the other person enjoys it too, but you clearly don’t. Given you haven’t mentioned to him that you don’t like it, so you think he might be under the impression that you enjoy it?

I don’t think they’re offensive as such (talking dirty is a pretty common ‘kink’ – if you can even call it that) but personally some of those would make me cringe if my partner used them, more because I’d find them embarrassing than anything. ‘Slip you a length’ is a stand out. 🙈

Only 3 mins 😂😂😂
Why on earth did you marry someone who can only last 3 mins 😂

@Beadsandfelts

I don’t think he uses porn. Yes he has always spoken like this 🤢

I assure you he does. He's a misogynistic, woman-hating bigot who will denigrate you (and treat you like his sex-on-demand property) until the day you die.

He's a bastard. Have my first LTB in about the ten years I've been on here.

@Beadsandfelts

Sex isn’t great tbh, it does probably only last three minutes. He’s never done oral sex, doesn’t like it - which is fair enough. I’m not going to expect him to do something he doesn’t like - but foreplay generally is pretty non-existent. There’s nothing to make up for that. It is that I feel like an object, not in a mutual partnership that I don’t like. Unfortunately dc are involved so a divorce wouldn’t be cheap or easy.

Of course he doesn't do oral sex, or anything for your gratification.

With utmost gentleness, your DC are learning about relationships from him. His attitude will be obvious and prevalent in a myriad of daily ways; your son's will learn women are property and your daughter's they belong to men.

Staying for the family I get. Its complicated. But if sex is awful, why do it?

I think it's a massive cringey turn-off, but that's not important. What's important is that you don't like it.

Does he care if you are in the mood or not? Does that matter to him, as long as he gets his way? Because he should care.