Bf does not like giving oral

[thedukeofed]

We're a few months in and all is wonderful. He told me from the first intimate occasion that he didn't Like giving oral but he felt that he had too.
He said that it's so warm , clammy down there and in the past didn't like the smell.
I'm not pushed on oral sex. It's never given me any pleasurable moments so I'm not upset that Im missing out. I could take or leave it .
He is a generous lover,always and we enjoy a spicy and varied sex life .
Is my Bar too low or would you be offended?
I explained that I would never want any intimate partner to feel that they' had' to do something that clearly disliked .

@ComtesseDeSpair

In sex, the only bar too low is where one person feels they have to do something they dislike doing because of pressure from their partner. Beyond that, it’s all just preference. Agree with others, it really does seem you’re overthinking this if it’s not something you’re particularly fussed about in the first place.

^ this

....also l don’t particularly like giving blow-jobs ! Which l was brave enough to say “ errr....actually that’s not on the menu” 😆😀😂

Wish*

Those are the wrong emojis to go with your post @MrsLighthouse

If you’re doing sec acts you don’t want to because you aren’t brave enough to say no, that’s sad, worrying, deeply depressing. Not funny at all.

@PurpleDaisies l’m 57 and happily married. I think l’m old enough to comment on my own life ta ! Chill out.

Wow. Thanks for all the replies.
I love giving him oral and he loves to receive. He also gets hugely turned on by my pleasure so that's is always first and centre of our intimate time together .
I'm
Trying to understand why someone wouldn't give oral ( when they love giving,) just because the other partner didn't enjoy giving ? Is it really tit for tat for the majority ?

[quote MrsLighthouse]@PurpleDaisies l’m 57 and happily married. I think l’m old enough to comment on my own life ta ! Chill out.[/quote]
So you’re happily married but you’re not happy to tell your husband you don’t like giving blow jobs and you don’t want to?

I must be unusual as I’ve met loads of guys that don’t like it, I’ve met more men that didn’t like it/do it, than ones that did (most people seem to say most men love it so just saying that’s not been my experience personally) if you’re not fussed about it then it’s not an issue is it? When I was younger it was fine for me but now I personally wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t do it.

Oh calm down. Sometimes you do things you don't want to because the other person loves it. Maybe that's giving a blow job, maybe that's cleaning a bathroom. It doesn't mean you can't be happily married.

@Hont1986

Oh calm down. Sometimes you do things you don't want to because the other person loves it. Maybe that's giving a blow job, maybe that's cleaning a bathroom. It doesn't mean you can't be happily married.

She said she wasn’t brave enough to say no.

That’s really something that’s associated with being in a healthy relationship?

That really is having a low bar...

You don't like receiving it, he doesn't like giving it, what is there to be offended about?

@thedukeofed

Wow. Thanks for all the replies. I love giving him oral and he loves to receive. He also gets hugely turned on by my pleasure so that's is always first and centre of our intimate time together . I'm Trying to understand why someone wouldn't give oral ( when they love giving,) just because the other partner didn't enjoy giving ? Is it really tit for tat for the majority ?

Dunno, maybe it's that they don't love giving, but don't mind doing it and consider it part of the sexual menu they're prepared to offer.

I probably wouldn't be arsed with giving it if the guy wasn't prepared to reciprocate.

Isn't it wierd how many posters on here wouldn't stay with someone who doesn't give them oral. Let's turn it around.....would you expect a man to leave you because you didn't want his dick in your mouth?

Doghead

Tbh I reckon most men would leave 😂 from my experience men are way more into oral than women. People are allowed to not whoever they want and most people would find that out before entering into a relationship so wouldn’t be dumping a partner etc

There are things I like doing, things I'm indifferent on, things I don't like doing but will, and things I don't like doing and won't.

I suppose I might have a tit for tat approach towards the things I don't like doing but will. If I'm going to do something I wouldn't choose for myself for their benefit, then I think I'd want them to approach our sex life with the same attitude.

If one partner doesn't like it, fine, but it would be something that neither did as a result.

Otherwise it's starts to look a little selfish.........

@Doghead

Isn't it wierd how many posters on here wouldn't stay with someone who doesn't give them oral. Let's turn it around.....would you expect a man to leave you because you didn't want his dick in your mouth?

I think if you're sexually incompatible, better to split up at a few months or weeks in than try to make it work or do things you don't want to do.

I could live without getting oral for the rest of my life. Much prefer PIV (I know I'm not with the majority on this). You say you don't miss it so I don't get why you'd even care.

@Happycat1212

Doghead

Tbh I reckon most men would leave 😂 from my experience men are way more into oral than women. People are allowed to not whoever they want and most people would find that out before entering into a relationship so wouldn’t be dumping a partner etc

From recent experience on here (there was a post about it recently) women seem to think a man should just put up and shut up....."how dare he expect me to do that....it's a violation....etc etc blah blah blah".

Just makes me wonder why a man should have to put up and shut up but a woman won't stand for it.

I never really enjoyed oral until I met my now partner and he gave me my first Orgasm this way and now I enjoy it. However he loves me sitting on his face and I don't like doing that and if he left me because of it I'd be pretty upset.

To enjoy any act o think both parties need to be enthusiastic to enjoy it and if he ended up doing it just for you you would know and not enjoy it anyways?

purple It does matter whether he is still expecting oral sex, why should he decide it is not for him, but still expect that kind of action?

You will be fine op, as long as he genuinely fulfils you in other ways. Out of interest how is making you orgasm without oral?

And are you happy with this indefinitely?

@Meruem

I’m not keen on oral full stop. However my issue would be if he was unwilling to give but expected to receive! If your not willing to do something yourself you can’t really expect someone else to. Although if you’re one of the woman that likes doing it I guess it’s up to you!

yes I agree with this 🌸

He sounds selfish..

He's Ooohh so happy to receive but not give.

No more oral for him.

Having read your update that he loves you giving him blow jobs, it would actually really piss me off that he loves getting oral sex but thinks it’s too warm, clammy and smelly to do to you!

Yep he is selfish, and it will come out in many ways other than the bedroom.

Willies can be smelly, hairy, warm and worse still spurting out disgusting lumps. So anyone can say that.

The point is that you have a selfish lover on your hand, and I would be uncomfortable with ANYONE describing my body in the way he has, and would assume some kind of turn off. I might even question his sexuality. Surely the warm, wet aspect is the most attractive to many men no?!