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Original poster

Bf does not like giving oral

162 replies

thedukeofed · 12/05/2021 14:15

We're a few months in and all is wonderful. He told me from the first intimate occasion that he didn't Like giving oral but he felt that he had too.
He said that it's so warm , clammy down there and in the past didn't like the smell.
I'm not pushed on oral sex. It's never given me any pleasurable moments so I'm not upset that Im missing out. I could take or leave it .
He is a generous lover,always and we enjoy a spicy and varied sex life .
Is my Bar too low or would you be offended?
I explained that I would never want any intimate partner to feel that they' had' to do something that clearly disliked .

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2021 15:56

If you're not bothered, it's a match made in heaven.

I do think you need to keep an eye on whether he has expectations for what you do and none for himself.

Hont1986 · 12/05/2021 16:05

It sounds like your preferences are quite compatible, so I'm not really sure what the issue is?

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/05/2021 16:23

In sex, the only bar too low is where one person feels they have to do something they dislike doing because of pressure from their partner. Beyond that, it’s all just preference. Agree with others, it really does seem you’re overthinking this if it’s not something you’re particularly fussed about in the first place.

Mamamamasaurus · 12/05/2021 16:31

Is he happy to RECEIVE oral?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/05/2021 16:34

Up to you if it's a dealbreaker.

Eviethyme · 12/05/2021 16:42

Wouldn't bother me. I don't like giving or receiving oral

Eviethyme · 12/05/2021 16:42

Wouldn't bother me. I don't like giving or receiving oral

MuddySocks · 12/05/2021 16:58

Is there something up with this thread in that there are multiple posts from
Multiple people. And they are all the same

wildeverose · 12/05/2021 17:01

No I wouldn't be offended, it's nothing to do with your "bar being too low".
Everyone has limits and things they won't do, or don't feel comfortable doing.
It's no different than if a man posted that his gf didn't like anal, and has he set the bar too low?
Posters would rip him a new one.
Sexually we are all different, and no one should be discriminated for what they are and aren't comfortable with, whatever sex the individual is.

wildeverose · 12/05/2021 17:02

@MuddySocks

Is there something up with this thread in that there are multiple posts from Multiple people. And they are all the same
Issues all over the site with the same thing atm
SmallPrawnEnergy · 12/05/2021 17:04

If you’re not fussed by it then surely it’s not an issue? I don’t even think it needs to be “reciprocal” purely in oral terms. For example IF you enjoy giving, but don’t enjoy another act then you wouldn’t do the other act but would still give oral. It’s about communication and boundaries at the end of the day.

OnlyInYourDreams · 12/05/2021 17:07

I don’t like giving oral. And tbh I would think less of someone who ended a relationship because of it.

If it’s a sexless relationship that’s one thing, but ending a relationship because someone refuses to do something they don’t like? Where do you draw the line on that? Anal? S&m? Having sex while asleep? It’s a slippery slope.

In fact if I was with someone who complained that I wouldn’t give oral I would end the relationship first.

category12 · 12/05/2021 17:09

He is a generous lover,always and we enjoy a spicy and varied sex life

If you're happy with your sex-life and he's happy with your sexlife, then great. No point worrying about a sex act he doesn't like and you're not fussed on.

It's only if you love it and don't want to go without, or he has weird fucked up ideas about female genitalia that it matters, really.

Shoxfordian · 12/05/2021 17:13

If you’re happy with it then it’s fine

Sakurami · 12/05/2021 17:14

I had a bf who didn't give oral. It's not a massive part of it but it is far sexier being with someone who goes all out and enjoys and gets turned on by giving you pleasure.

PurpleDaisies · 12/05/2021 17:14

@Mamamamasaurus

Is he happy to RECEIVE oral?
How is that relevant?
Blueskytoday06 · 12/05/2021 17:17

DP likes it but I'm not that bothered about it. Nothing to do with skill etc just think that it's something men do but would rather not.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/05/2021 17:22

@OnlyInYourDreams

I don’t like giving oral. And tbh I would think less of someone who ended a relationship because of it.

If it’s a sexless relationship that’s one thing, but ending a relationship because someone refuses to do something they don’t like? Where do you draw the line on that? Anal? S&m? Having sex while asleep? It’s a slippery slope.

In fact if I was with someone who complained that I wouldn’t give oral I would end the relationship first.

People are allowed to have whatever sexual dealbreakers they like. You'd think less of a person who ended a relationship with you because they like receiving oral but it's okay for you to end it because they won't put up with your not wanting to give it? Hmm
Tiramiwho · 12/05/2021 17:24

What would he say if you suddenly decided you hated giving oral also? Would he be absolutely fine with your decision? I wonder if you are asking this because on some level, you suspect he wouldn't be happy if the roles were reversed?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/05/2021 17:24

@AramintaLee

I wouldn't be offended but I certainly wouldn't appreciate if he had expectations of receiving oral in that case. Why don't you suggest a shower together followed by a 69 session and see how he feels about that if smell is his concern?
He doesn't like giving oral, why the hell would you suggest 69 to him? FFS. I'd dump anyone who liked 69, FWIW, that's a dealbreaker to me.
Howshouldibehave · 12/05/2021 17:28

If you’re not fussed, you seem a perfect match! Does he like you doing it to him?

Branleuse · 12/05/2021 17:35

well it would be a dealbreaker for me, but if you arent fussed about oral, then I cant see why it would bother you

JorisBonson · 12/05/2021 17:37

The man's been upfront with something he doesn't enjoy doing sexually. Good on him. You should respect it, just as he should respect anything you don't enjoy doing.

WhipperSnapperSteve · 12/05/2021 17:55

@Blueskytoday06

DP likes it but I'm not that bothered about it. Nothing to do with skill etc just think that it's something men do but would rather not.
Pffft.
MrsLighthouse · 12/05/2021 17:57

You don’t spend your whole life in bed . If you’re not that bothered and he’s cool in every other way why make it a dealbreaker 🤷‍♀️

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