felt invisible when my husband came home

[Almostfamous29]

My husband came home tonight from a 6 day work trip, and I'd been excited to see him. i've been caring for our 1 year old daughter alone while he was away, which as you know if you're a parent is tiring.

When he came home he ran to say hello to our daughter to hug and play with her (understandably he hadnt seen her in 6 days) but It took my husband around 6/7 minutes of being home before he looked at me or properly said hello to me, and did so by squeezing my shoulder and saying 'how are you, you alright' rather than giving me a proper hug and kiss.

Perhaps this may make me sound overly sensitive or insecure but in that moment i just felt completely invisible and also disrespected. It is hard work looking after a baby alone for so long. I cant imagine if it were the other way round not greeting both him and my daughter with love and a big hug if I came home from a work trip.

Extra details are that during this 6 mins, his work crew were all outside our house and he was out speaking with them while they waited for their taxis to arrive to take them home. I feel like if they hadn't been there he'd have greeted me with more warmth.

As I type this it all sounds really childish but something just feels hurtful, no matter how secure a person is, by being ignored by your partner when you've not seen them for so long.

Aibu to feel a bit hurt by this?

So very sorry you're being treated so terribly.

How supportive is your family?

Since you work from home, would it be possible to go stay with them for a bit so you can get some real life support and clear your head?

I’d prolly find and book a series of couples therapy appointments, and present them as a fait accompli to him. I’d say ‘be here at this address at this time (or home for video appointment) or the next research I do is solicitors. Up to you.’

I’d also start making fun of his ‘hotel storm offs.’ Reposition them as a coward’s way out, instead of the proud reasonable action he thinks it is. As soon as he used even a slight tone with me, I’d be straight in with ‘don’t forget to please put the bins out before you flounce off to your hotel’. Or even when we were getting on: ‘hey next time you flounce to a hotel, could you pick me up some travel shampoo please?’. He’d be hearing about it day and night. I’d be telling people within his hearing too, so he knows it not his little secret. Make a joke of it, it might work.

Until you put larger solutions in place, anyway.