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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

1000 replies

Baffy · 15/11/2007 10:08

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 26/11/2007 19:13

TVl
Dont be scared of ADs although you would be silly if you were not worried about taking them.

If needed they can really help take the edge off the panic.

Only you will be able to know what is best for you in the long run.

For me it is about taking the time for me and i really enjoy reflexology and a bit of pampering. But we are all different i hope you find what works for you, but like i said dont be afraid of tablets you wont always need them.

Good luck

Paddlechick666 · 26/11/2007 19:43

TLV, the ADs could help but follow your instinct if you don't want them. don't feel pressured to take them.

TimeForMe has some great alternatives which I'm sure she'll come along and tell you about.

As for leaving dd with H and going out on your own. bloody good for you!

Fubsy · 26/11/2007 20:52

Hi TLV - know what you mean about the ADs. Its hard at first, but I found they do take the edge off and allow you to look at things a bit more objectively.

But in the end its up to you. Good that youre going to see a counsellor though, thats important.

If you do decide to take the ADs, dont take them for a little while then come off, as that will make you feel really shit. They take a while to kick in, and can make you have a real downer, and sometimes make you feel sick or headachy, if you stop taking them abruptly.

let us know what you decide to do!

TimeForMe · 27/11/2007 09:52

Good morning Ladies

Just popped in to catch up on the weekends events.

PC, how are you? Are you all ready for the move? I hope you are excited at the fresh start and the wonderful thing you are doing for yourself and dd. xx

Hi Baffy! Hope you are still smiling

Hi to everyone else too, including the bumps that will soon be babies! Exciting times all round!

TLV I tried AD's but the didn't suit me at all so, i turned to a natural alternative which was blooming wonderful! I swear by St John's Wort and a supplement called 5HTP. They really did the job for me and lifted me out of a dark hole with none of the side effects. HTH x

Paddlechick666 · 27/11/2007 11:51

hi TFM, have updated on FB

sugar34plum · 27/11/2007 12:44

hello all hope everyone is well?

Baffy · 27/11/2007 14:50

not too bad

thanks for your message on FB - sorry for the ranting reply! lots has happened!

how are you doing?

OP posts:
sugar34plum · 27/11/2007 14:55

hi havent looked on facebook just noticed this doing school run then will look but hope your ok? x

Baffy · 27/11/2007 15:46

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Fubsy · 27/11/2007 16:38

Baffy - he wants you to go out on your anniversary?

Think youre right about that.

How do you feel though? Not a good time of year to be reminded of it all.

Tanee58 · 27/11/2007 17:07

Baffy, that's just too much! Is he for real? What exactly does he think you'll be celebrating ...?

sugar34plum · 27/11/2007 17:08

baffy have replied on fb. get comfy before you read i have gone on a bit!!

am gobsmacked at him asking you to go for dinner?

sugar34plum · 27/11/2007 17:20

My dd1 has been going through with bullying at school and came to a head yesterday when she cried her eyes out and didnt want to go. Having gone to the school and spoken to the liason officer my daughter came home yestrerday feeling better. Tonight she has just given me a card her teacher gave her and i just wanted to share it with you all:

A Smile

Smiling is infectious;you catch it like flu,
when someone smiled at me today, i started smiling too.

I passsed around the corner and someone saw my grin, when he smiled i realized i'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile, then i realized its worth, A single smile,just like mine could travel round the earth.

so, if you feel a smile begin,dont leave it undetected, Lets start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected.

Was even more lovely for dd since she busted her teeth too!

If i make at least one of you smile im happy xx

Baffy · 27/11/2007 17:23

it's the way he's been all along.

he won't commit or give me anything back. won't give me anything I need.
but when it's an important occasion or something he'll find difficult, he wants me to be with him. because he knows I am always positive and always find ways of making him feel better about himself and what he's done. I'm the only person in his life who sees the good and the positives in every situation. and I think he needs that from me. in this whole thing I've been the only person who's supported him. everyone else lost all faith in him from the day he walked out just before last christmas.

but I only had the energy to be like that when I still thought we had a chance at saving our marriage. I no longer think we have. that's why I have to stop it now and take control.

it's all for his own benefit. I can finally see through it.

if I thought for one minute we had a chance at saving this marriage then I still wouldn't give up. (you know me by now!) but he has a new girlfriend, who has a child, and that is a VERY clear message to me that it's not the lifestyle and responsibility he can't cope with. he does want all of that. he's lied all along. he does want a relationship. he needs a relationship in order to feel good about himself. he just doesn't want one with ME.
(apart from an ego boost and some support whenever it suits him!)

so I am no longer going to be his security blanket or moral support.

time for him to be on his own! as he's wanted all along!

time for him to realise that little wifey will no longer be waiting in the background ready to take him back when he's had his fun! time to fight back!!

sugar thank you so much for the fantastic reply on fb you're a star. have to go and get ds now but i'll write back later

xx

OP posts:
Baffy · 28/11/2007 11:14

got a text message this morning saying happy anniversary!

wtf!

OP posts:
TimeForMe · 28/11/2007 11:18

what planet is he on!

I hope you have got those divorce papers all ready to go. What an anniversary present! If that doesn't deliver the message, I don't know what will!

LilyLoo · 28/11/2007 11:19

Hi all
Baffy you obviously know exactly what to do and you are 100% right of the reasons he is doing this. He obviously thinks he can still whistle and you will come running to make him feel better.
What was your reply ?

Dior · 28/11/2007 11:44

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Baffy · 28/11/2007 12:16

This reply has been deleted

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LilyLoo · 28/11/2007 12:25

WELL DONE BAFFY !

sugar34plum · 28/11/2007 13:02

Thats our baffy we know and love completely dignified all the way!

Hope your bearing up ok today x

Baffy · 28/11/2007 13:30

Thanks

Am still smiling! Somehow!

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 28/11/2007 13:52

well done Baffy, onward and upward eh?

Baffy · 28/11/2007 13:54

lets hope so!

btw Dior I loved your responses. b in particular

OP posts:
Dior · 28/11/2007 14:28

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