New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

I'm pretty darn good at the minute actually. It's just you guys are all so supportive and lovely and I just don't really ever know what to say lol. Also one minute I'm up and the next I'm really low!

We're all the same on here! One minute feeling great and the next it's back to square one! Story of our lives!

Was that your thread about PoF?? What's happened - tell all!

yes PoF thread was mine lol got a guys number, I think he's quite cute and he is certainly nice to chat to over email and msn lol. Just not sure if I am really in a position to contact him under the current circumstances.

MN wont delete my 'I hate men' thread so I'm trying to let it die as I think if you knew me in RL I'd be very obvious. IYKWIM.

You guys are just all so supportive and I feel like I'm not giving anything back if that makes sense. I still haven't been on FaceBook

I suppose it's ok to contact him just to get to know him while things with the 'other person' are still so up in the air.

When you get 100% committment off him - then you can give that back

Why won't they delete the thread?

Message withdrawn

he told me on Friday he wanted to make it work. Did I not sya that?

So I do kind of feel like I would be doing something wrong iykwim. That said I've not heard from him since except that text I sent which he replied to, I sent him another one yesterday evening tell him about something that had happened and didn't get a reply.

(sorry didn't mean to post before)

Message withdrawn

well this is the thing. The only time I've heard from him since he left Wednesday morning was when he replied to my text saying I'd been propositioned.

MoH he's not putting any effort in at all is he

I wish I knew what to say to help

It's weird though. I'm not bothered for some reason..

Maybe you should stay in touch with the PoF guy then...

Honestly MoH - don't commit yourself to him when he isn't giving you that in return.

You may just find that you meet someone who treats you well (like you deserve), and he, may just find that he's missed the boat...

Message withdrawn

I do feel like I have stepped away. I sort of feel like I've done my hurting and I'm feeling good again.. if he wants to make an effort then that would be great but if he doesn't then he doesn't, which is kind of why I'm still chatting to other blokes and stuff.

I think he was surprised whne I said I was going out last night.

just been chatting to a male friend of mine who knows what's going on. He emailed to see if I'd heard from him since Wednesday morning. i said no only that once after my text. he thinks he is dicking me around and said a bloke would/should definitely have been in touch before now under the circumstances. He said he is a loser. I'm not bloody well texting him.

Your friend is right MoH.

We all want to support you and can see that you really want this to work as you can see something special in him beneath it all. And only you can decide if he is worth all of this.

But your friend is spot on - you just don't treat people this way. Especially when he's messed you around so much, seen you at your absolute lowest (because of him!), then said he wants chance to put things right and make it work... but then doesn't even bother to keep in touch.

Like Dior said - actions speak louder than words. And he's not doing anything.

Totally agree with you not texting him. In fact go out with your friends, or even if you stay in, pretend you're unavailable for a while. You need some time to decide if this (and him!) is really what you want.

Message withdrawn

Hi all just checking in ..MOH don't worry about not being "supportive enough"....I never know what to say but we have enough wise heads here (TFM and Baffy to start)...the best thing about this is that no one expects anything of you
Things ok here ...baby breech at moment and scariest thing is may have to let H move back for while to look after DD and help out if I have to have a section Am really worried that won't be able to get him back out again
My sister has got some leave saved so may be able to come and stay and help but just want to cope by myself or be dependant on him ......but then they are his children too and he has to take some responsibility doesn't he

NOT be dependant on him obviously !

hi mac, you're right about wise heads here eh!

i feel bad as i've really not been posting very much except my personal woes and rants.

thought processes aren't great and dd having been ill all week hasn't helped!

we had a reasonably good night last night tho so maybe we've broken the back of it.

h has been texting a few times this week and on MSN. he responds to status lines i put up which is, I suppose, my way of giving him information. mostly they just say "vomit fest" or "sleep deprived" etc.

i still don't respond. on thurs he said he was going past the end of the road on the bus and was waving to us. just plain weird sometimes. am getting increasingly annoyed with his parents too - they haven't been in touch for months apart from to send dd some money for her birthday.

anyways, enough about him. more about me! going into solicitor on friday to sign some stuff, need to start on the packing soon! priced up some carpet yesterday too. starting to get a bit real now!

Mac, understand it must pretty daunting to have to consider having H move back in after the birth. wise to start putting a plan into place just in case but don't stress too much as the baby might turn.

was dd breach? have you had a section before?

i had an emergency section and it wasn't as bad as i had expected at all. h left when dd was 3.5 weeks and i coped okay but i had a lot of help from my mum it has to be said.

the actual section side of things was fine, it was more the constant feeding that made it impossible to get anything else done LOL.

can your ILs help with dd and do some meals for you so you don't have to worry about cooking? is there an option to get a cleaner etc to do the domestic stuff for you as well?

you're right that your DC are H's responsibility and he should be there as much as you want him to be but if you could work something out that means he doesn't actually stay over I think that would good. it would put your mind at rest, give him the clear message that he has a responsibility to the DC etc but that it's not an invitation to move back in and pick up where he left off without any consequences.

sorry if that's a bit garbled!

right, i am instructed to "make dippy egg mummy. NOW!" so i gotta go

Hi Everybody I just 'popped in' to wish you all a lovely weekend.

Thank you for the lovely mention Mac we aim to please

No, seriously, Mac is right, no problem is too large that we can't sort it out one way or another, even if it's just posting to get things off your chest. This is the one place you can speak from your heart, be truly honest with yourself and have people ready to 'listen' and help all that they can.

It's just a shame we can't help with all the vomit PC, such a shame and by the way PC, don't you dare feel bad because you feel you have posted only your rants and woes. Your problems are just as important as those of anyone else on here. Yes, you are great with advice, you are fab! But, you are human too. You need us sometimes as much as we need you. You rant and moan as much as you like my love

Now, me thinks we should all be sending Teabag Vibes to MacTeabag, in a concerted effort to get baby Teabag turned around! Can't be giving H an excuse to get his feet back under the table! xx

Thanks TFM really tearful today (thought was over all that crying nonsense)....H having DD overnight tonight (usually on a Friday evry now and then but said couldn't last night as had a "party" was very vague and I know all his friends my guess he was looking after OW baby as I know she works on a Fri night...no real problem with this but why the lies he just cannot be honest with me at all)...
So he thinks that is ok for me to pop out with DD and pick him up from pub and take them both to his flat at 6pm (ok do I look like a taxi)...his excuse he has been working all day (ummm NO punters so far so sat on his arse watching DVD's)..I have not stopped since DD woke up at 6:30 sorting her and various pets out, rushing from one activity to aother pop into work to try and catch up paperwork, xmas shopping, baby shopping...am 35 weeks pregnant still wroking single parent supporting us all...and whe I suggested he only had one pint took care and came to get her to save me going out again ...his answer NO I want a few pints I've been working all day....he will never ever change ....
sorry for long moan just need to resolve this and am well aware have been saying that for well over a year now

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a lot easier to fall into habits, bad or otherwise, than it is to get out of them. But, the good thing is you are well aware of what he is doing and you are (i hope) not allowing yourself to be used and manipulated. You can really do without all this right now. You need as little stress as possible (if that is possible being 35weeks pregnant, single mum AND working!)

I understand how you feel re the lies. I am of the opinion that men think they are being clever when they lie to us, they feel that thier lies keep them in control of the situation. Dickheads! We just see it as insulting to our intelligence, which it is!

I really hope that one day soon you manage to detatch yourself, emotionally and physically from this man. That you reach a stage within yourself where his words and actions no longer affect you.

At this moment in time, you are the Teabag I would so love to be experiencing total peace, calm and happiness and be free of all this pain.

You have so much to look forward to, a lovely little family which you are proudly supporting all by yourself, a good career, not to mention being so deserving of a loving relationship with an equally unselfish and loving man.
Please, please, please, don't let the thoughtless actions and selfish ways of H rob you of all that is good in your life.
You kicked him out of your house, now do yourself a favour and kick him out of your head. He isn't worth the rise in your blood pressure

Don't allow this man to turn you into someone you don't want to be. You deserve to be happy and heartache free. XXX

Thanks guys, I just feel would like to feel like I'm giving something back as well as just offloading all my thoughts and problems. I'm a good listener but not half as articulate as some of you guys. Anywya I sound like I'm moaning again and I'm not I just think you are all fabulous and really admire the way you have formed bonds with each other and are their for each other.

Bloke text me this morning. I said I'd call him later to catch up but haven't yet and too be honest I can't really be bothered - a couple of weeks ago I would have been chomping at the bit to call him. Thought I might call him tomorrow instead. Firstly cos I've been out all day and am now knackered and secondly to let him wonder why I haven't called when I said I would. I do really like him still but I feel like I mourned for him and xp the other week when I was completely gutted.

Hi MOH

Don't you fancy a little holiday from blokes? Don't you fancy just a bit of time to yourself, to really take care of and pamper yourself. Treat yourself nicely and really love yourself?

I can promise you, once you have done all that you will begin to realise your own self worth, just what a special person you are and in doing that, you won't be interested in any bloke that isn't worth his salt! Not only will you be flying high you will be aiming high!