New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

I intend to!

Thanks xx

baffy, really sorry to hear that about H.

he can't have been with the new gf for very long tho? he might just be knee-jerking to your NM.

regardless of that, he really is behaving like a tosser.

fwiw, i think you're doing the right thing in formalising your separation. either straight to divorce or legal separation. you need to protect yourself especially if it might start getting nasty.

i intend to do this in January when the move is out of the way and i've separated all the banking details.

haven't heard from H in a few days, since I asked him to pay for dd's pre-school registration which he has agreed to do.

big night out with my friend tonight but if i'm really honest, i'd be happy with a take-away and a bottle of wine at home on my own!

missing dd

where is dd pc? And how are the formalities going with the move? You on track to complete by end Nov? SHite, I MUST get on with my work

Not posted on here for a little while, Baffy I'm so sorry to read your post. H is behaving like an idiot, I wish you didn't still care for him

Sounds like NM is fantastic though

Hi all

Hi Aunty Baffy , congratulations!

Sorry haven't been around this week, once again it's been a weird week with H. Things are definately over between us now. He's acting really weird, going out a lot and doesn't want to be here in the evenings to have dinner with me (as we were doing before). We'd planned for him being here tonight for dinner and he seemed to be looking forward to it but after his night out last night he was too tired and can't make it tomorrow either Just feels like empty excuses..

Guess I'm feeling pretty lonely especially in the evenings when dc's gone to bed. I have to now move on with my life and hopefully one day meet a nice NM like you have Baffy (very happy for you) . On the positive but sad side I do realise now that things can't go back between us. I'm happy living on my own with dc's, new house is great & I'm getting on much better with dc's now I'm not stressed and unhappy all the time. I enjoy being with them
Anyway enough rambling...

Baffy, I hope you are ok, I hope so much that things don't turn nasty between you and H. I can see where you are coming from tho and even with the best of intentions to be amicable it's inevitable for things to flare up occasionally I guess. He has hurt you very badly. Seems like you have someone very different & lovely in your NM tho

Dior, how are things? Hope to catch up with you all soon, things very up and down here so apologise for patchy communication xx

can I sulk here that someone is now calling themselves ernestina! I mean, the english spelling is earnest, so feel it's a bit annoying, esp as people are obviouls getting us confused. grr. i'll blame me hormones. bloody ernestina indeed.

Sulk away ernest
How frustrating...

Sometimes I've seen people being 'politely' asked to change their name a bit as it's too similar to a current poster...
When you're new you have no idea what anyone else is called do you, so I'm sure it wasn't done on purpose...

Should we politely ask her to change it

or change your name to

'theoriginalERNEST'

Sunshine just wanted to say that I know how hard it is for you... Sometimes, stopping doing all the little things, like having dinner together and spending time together, can be the hardest part.

They give you the comfort, security, familiarity and most of all, the companionship. It's hard to let that go. But perhaps it's for the best if you are both to fully accept things and move on.

I remember when I used to still have dinner with H and ds, and every time he'd walk away again I'd feel like another part of my heart went with him. Each time I'd hope and pray that he may realise he wanted us. But it never happened.

When I stopped spending that quality time with him I was so lonely it was unbelieveable. But it protected my heart. And I quickly got used to not having him around at all. It made things much easier for me in the end.

Just wanted to let you know that it does get better and it actually might be for the best. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now. And you do sound so much happier and as though you feel like a much better mum already. That's all positive and it's good to hear xxx

Hi all!
Ernest i wasn't sure if it was you or not ? Sorry because i put Ernest on reply! How are you, hows PG ?
McD how are you doing only couple weeks to go now !
Baffy sorry to hear you still struggling to make the break with h it must be so hard when you really love someone. but you will do it and am sure it will be a massive weight off your shoulders when you do!
PC where's dd ? Hows things going with the move ? Good decision r/e h new year new house and new start for you and dd!
Mascara have all things gone quiet then with dd's dad ?
Dior how are you ?
TFM hope you keeping well.
Sunshine hope things look better soon all good advice from Baffy
All good here am 34 weeks today so not long to go feeling huuuuge and starting to get a little fed up but on the other hand want baby to stay put until afterthe new year!
Hope everyone else keeping ok LL X

that's fine, but that's the point lilyloo - her name's so similar to mine and also pg, bound to confuse. Baffy, you tell her for me, I'm too chicken and hormonal

I hope to one day be strong like some of you

are you new here tlv? Do you want to talk to us? I'm noot around much, so sorry if you've been here ages & I've missed you

TLV, you were on here a whi;le ago, werent you? Are you OK?

Message withdrawn

Hi Everyone

Havent been here a while either. Feeling a bit low as just coming up to the year anniversary.

It was DDs birtday this weekend and it is the same as ows. I know i need to move forward and i am i feel calmer in so many ways and yet she is still there.

She will not ever leave work now and i fear that she will now try to destroy his career. Cant say i blame her that is what i would want to do - he has treated her very badly too. He is getting nervous at work too and i know he is finding it tough - he knows he has to tell me about all contact but he makes him feel bad too.

At least the venom for her is going - slowly, and if she does do something to 'hurt' him at work it will just show her for her true self and she will have to live with that.

Sorry rambling now - just feel quite low and sad today but i am going to try and keep as busy i can and try and thing about christmas.

We are going to put up the decs next weekend to make it the longest and best xmas ever - as last year only just about managed to get the box of stuff out of the loft!

Anyway hope you all have a great week.

lilyloo am so of your bump! glad you're doing well

TLV are you ok?

Ernest I will go and have a look for her now...

HW I completely understand where you're coming from. I want to make this christmas as special as possible too... try and wipe out some of those bad memories from last year and replace them with some wonderful new ones.

Is there any way H can look for another job? I know that's not the most practical solution in the world. But this woman has a lot of issues, has been treated badly by him, and could try and make his life hell if she wants to. The constant pressure of him having to see and work with her must be affecting you both a lot. And understandably, you both don't want to keep talking about her and letting her affect your day to day life. But at the same time it's bubbling under the surface for both of you and you can't carry on that way.

If you had been completely unable to deal with him working with her then he'd have had to find a new job anyway. And although the firm have been good to him and I'm sure he likes it there, I really do think a new job could be a clean break and a fresh start for all of you.

I agree, def. new job. It's been long enough so that it doesn't look like he's running away from the situation either. I bet you'll feel so much better, and you'll be able to draw more of a line under the whole thing once you have this physical bond broken.

What an unfortunate coincidence that they share the same birthday. YOu've just reminded me that 'my' OW's birthday is sometime in december - I remember peeping into dh's Christmas shopping and seeing a watch - turns out it was her b'day present.

use your charms on her Baffy I'm irrationally massively irked by this

I wish it was that simple - I cant really talk on here so i may put more details on FB.

I do feel calmer in the knowledge that if she does try and undermine him at work he will lose any respect he has for her and we can then hope that others will see through it all. But like i said i would not blame her really and so i am preparing myself for the worst, sort of. She will have to live with herself then too.

Anyway thanks for listening to my moaning again.

You're not moaning at all!

Will catch up on FB in a bit xx

Hi all,

Lilyloo, hoping you're keeping well - not long to go...

SG - that must be hard - but hopefully you will now be able to move on?

Ernest & Baffy - wish you could forget the OWs - you're so brave. Ernest, how's the 'bumplet' going? Any more moves? It reminded me that I shall never lie in the bath again watching my tummy moving of its own accord - spooky !

I'm beginning the countdown to dp coming home next Saturday night. Part of me is glad, part of me regrets the fact that I've had another 9 weeks of doing my own thing without having to take him into account. I also dread more of the depressed episodes we've had in the past year when he has been home. He himself said the other night, that he's been thinking about us a lot whilst he's been aware, and realises that he's behaved badly and hurt me. He said he's trying to understand why he'd done it, when he so wanted us to live together. I reckon part of it is him realising that he's not autonomous any more - that he's part of a couple AND part of a family, since dd is a constant in the house even if she's not his daughter. It must be hard to adjust to all that for the first time when you're 53. I think we'll have to do a fair bit of talking when he gets back, to find a modus vivendi - and try to stick to it! Trouble is, we'll have even less privacy initially as a young actress we know has rented our spare room until Christmas, and another friend in the German tour company has given up his flat and will be staying a couple of nights with us. It's not ideal and won't exactly be the romantic reunion I envisaged - not with TWO men with bags on the doorstep instead of just my own man. .

So... I feel a bit ambivalent today...

Tanee it's great that you're talking so much and working through it all together. The main problem between H and I was lack of communication. If you've got that sorted then everything else will fall into place.

Bummer that you'll have those additional house guests for a while. But it won't be forever, and it will give you even more of an excuse to get out together (or lock yourselves in the bedroom!) and spend some quality time alone.

Yes Baffy, it's great - in theory - that we TALK about talking problems through - the trouble is, when we agreed we wanted to be together after my exh left, we promised to always talk if something was bothering one of us - but when he WAS bothered, he just clammed up and hit the bottle instead, or went for long walks on his own, or sat in a dark room playing loud music, or slept in the spare room . And then I got prickly and defensive and left him to it until he came to me, apologising. I think when it comes down to it, we've both so afraid of something negative coming out of it that we say nothing. I just don't want us to spend years alternatively loving each other or apologising for being mean & moody.

Still got a lot to learn!

I've taken the 'welcome home champagne' out of the fridge in case the house guests drink it all! . Not wasting my Moet on them (thank you pressie from a grateful constituent )!

... and the cats will be VERY fed up at being banned from the bedroom again ...

Hi all

hope you are all well, I'm ok I think its not going to be easy as yesterday was awful, I walked out and left dh with dd and went off and had a drink then went for something to eat, anyway went to gp's today and have been prescibed AD I did take one but I really don't want to come to rely on them so not sure if I will take anymore of them but he is going to set me up with a counsellor which is good