New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

Ginnedup

You are not weak or pathetic you are a good trusting person who truely wants to believe the best in people - i think we all are of this type on this thread. It is just such a shame that we live in a world of selfish 'take take take' people.

You have done so well and really have moved forward an awful lot recently - he is such a fool and is probably begining to see it.

We are all thinking of you.

Thanks xx
He's very drunk now. Just been round to pick up his phone charger that he left here yesterday. Blaming me for everything, its because I had a go at him earlier that he got drunk (I had a go at him for being in the pub at 11 am instead of working!)
He's going to tell my Mum that I'm a psycho and I'm damaging the kids with my bad temper!
Its actually laughable that he really believes this shit when he's like this. He's such a different guy when he's sober
At least he's gone now, crawled back under his stone!!

Sorry youre having such a time of it Ginnedup. Its horrible when they try to blame you for their own moods and shortcomings. Especially when all youre trying to do is keep things on an even keel for the DCs!

Youre strong though. I take it your Mum wont be taking much notice of him?

Thanks Fubsy.
I just told my Mum and she just laughed and said "bring it on"
I wish he'd do it - he'd get a right tongue lashing.
What's that about anyway "I'm telling your mum of you!". How childish.

at your Mum!

Funny how sometimes they cant see what wankers theyre being.

Oops - men, not your Mum

Lily congratulations beautiful name glad all went well xx

Macd ??? Im gobsmacked has this woman no decency at all??? Good for your sis and agree with other re ow baby.The last thing you need is this whist recovering from a c section.

Ginnedup. Your not an idiot.None of us have given up on the man we love. Otherwise we wouldnt love them! It does sound like that unless he admits he has a problem it will never change. Im sorry

Sorry not up to much in agony from my last c-section with dd looks like endometriosis again and tom now is not much fun!

Is baffy back yet?

Hope you are ok - do let us know when you are back though.

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Hi there

I am back. Got off the plane early hours yesterday morning feeling tanned, relaxed and happy. Had a lovely break. Missed ds like crazy. But made the most of the sun and never relaxed so much in my life!

24 hours back in my life and I feel like I've never been away!

Just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS to lilyloo. Great to hear it all went so smoothly in the end and you're all doing well

I will catch up properly later and get on FB too.

Dior I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish today Does this girl leaving open up the possibility of a new member of staff? Either another girl who hopefully, will be lovely, good to work with, and become a friend. Or better still, a hard working, nice looking bloke (with none of G's characteristics!!)

Hi Baffy, glad you had such a great time !

Dior, sorry things are pants again at work. So there was actually SOMEONE who missed G !! Hope she'll be replaced with someone nice soon (hunky but normal male would be nice .

GUP - so - he can't blame you though. HE chooses to drink - you don't tie him down and pour the stuff down his throat! Pathetic excuse really.

We've been quote £800 to replace the flashing on part of our roof . Not sure I even HAVE £800. It sounds outrageous. Got two other cheaper quotes but the men seemed less professional. Hate this roofing business and dreading it making DP even more sad than he is, as he can't contribute at all.

Hi Baffy- did you go on your own in the end? Glad you had a good break.

Thanks Tannee - I know that but he doesn't seem to be able to grasp such a simple fact.
He wants to talk later but I don't think I can be arsed tbh. Its all been said

Tannee, £800 does seem extreme to replace a bit of flashing. Watch these roofers - they often charge a fortune because they know you can't get up there yourself and see what's going on. Good idea to get quite a few quotes and then you can judge which ones are ripping you off.

tannee- look on the federation of master builders. builders have to get loads of references to be on this list and pay a ridiculous fee to stay on there every year.You also get to see if the builders have any complaints against them and also to contact their previous clients for recommendations. Dramatically reduces the chances of getting cowboys doing it.

flying visit!

I'm going out for a drink after work tonight! In fact I'm going out to two drinks - I am stupidly excited at teh prospect of a grown up evening!

Tanee, you're in one of the most expensive places to find this kind of tradesmen. Suggest looking for someone located 10 or so miles north and see if they're any cheaper. So sorry I haven't posted those books!

baffy, well done you. glad it was fab.

I am very very close to booking a canvas holiday in south france for a week in may. cheap flights and a cab to teh campsite and I reckon I can pull it off for £200! they even give single parent discount!!

am quite apprehensive of a full week away with just me and dd and no car tho. we might drive each other nuts!!

really want a few days away somehwere warm adn relaxing tho!

Thanks for all the roofing advice. Yes £800 seems HUGE - but he climbed up, took nice photos for us to look at, broke a tile in the process and promptly repaired it without asking, all of which made a good impression - and he's promising a 'report' and full quote by the end of the week. He is fairly local, but from the tattier end of our area - not the posh Muswell Hill/Highgate end. Still think it's a lot though. The cheapest guy just stood at the end of the garden by our compost bin (you can't even see the problem area from there) and said we had damaged tiles (absolute rot) and nothing about the flashing. But the middle quote guy, though he did climb up, just seemed a bit vague and plucked a figure out of the air, as it were, of £200 - and wasn't precise about whether it was for complete renewal or just a patch job. Someone in the office has recommended her roofer - shall try him and hope our ceiling doesn't collapse whilst we're getting all these 4th, 5th & 6th opinions - and if it does collapse, hope none of us are sitting on the loo at the time !

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Dior -

Theres a lot of that at my work at the moment - Im learning to suck my stomach in whenever I stand up!

Strange how that girl left your work because G left - she cant have put a lot of value on having a job if she could leave that easily.

Sorry I havent posted on here for a while - am feeling a bit all over the place, and everyone else seems to be as well. I have been huddled in the safety of A&C1

Tanee, I can empathise over the roof thing. Ive got a lot of damp bits, and no money whatsoever.

Im now seriously thinking of selling up and moving into rented. If I did that I would actuially be a lot better off financially, and I wouldnt have to worry about property maintenance. Main worry is that I wouldnt actually sell - everythings a bit slow at the moment. Also Id want to stay in the area so DD can stay at her school, which might not be so easy.

Dior, did I tell you that I got offered a seat on the Underground recently, when I was wearing my favourite highwaisted fleece coat? The young man apologised for not having offered before, gestured to my middle and said, 'I didn't notice...'

I thanked him VERY much and sat down .

And I'm 50 next month !!!!

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tanee, have you thought of these guys for your roofing work www.yeshandyman.co.uk/

they have a construction team who look like they might be able to do something like flashing.

Sorry guys just not really up to posting at the moment. Head is a total mess. Don't know what I want anymore. Easier to block everything out than talk about it. I am lurking though.

Fubsy I hope you're ok? Renting could be a good option - I'm thinking along similar lines myself.

PC the holiday sounds lovely - go for it!

Dior I'm sorry you're having such a crap time at work. Any scope for looking for another job, or if you aren't doing it for the money, look for voluntary work during term time that can give you the social side of things that you wnat? Sorry not much help, it's rubbish when everything's changing around you and you have no control over it isn't it

I think we perhaps need to plan a party for Tanee's 50th next month!

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Baffy so sorry you are You always sound so strong and are always so supportive and give such good advice...if its any consolation I do know how you feel I just don't know the answers...please phone/text or MSN me if you just want to talk...sometimes I know how hard it is to talk to those who care about us in RL they just get so angry and cross and don't realise that it isn't just that simple

Thank you

I really do appreciate it. It's really not like me to feel so low, I'm the one person I know who always finds a positive, no matter how bad things get!

I think the trigger for this was last week, after the latest fall out with (ex)NM! And my mum said to me 'do you know what, I'll never forgive H for what he's done to you this past 18months, but for the last 14 years I never once saw you unhappy. You never fought and you never once came to me to complain about H or any aspect of your relationship. I hate seeing you so unhappy. I'm devastated for you that it's over. And I never thought I'd hear myself say that.' (This is from the woman who was ready to chop H's balls off a few short months ago!! )

I just don't know what I want anymore. I miss H dreadfully (still!), I can't imagine a lifetime of sharing ds and missing out on special moments just because his father decided that's the way it should be.
I guess it's that thing of acceptance when it's totally out of your control. I married and had a baby into what I believed was a stable and loving relationship which had stood the test of time. And he not only took it away from me without even giving me a chance, but did it in the most awful, heartbreaking way.

Macd I know you understand all this too. The pain of wanting them back (wanting them back the way they used to be) but trying to come to terms with the fact that they have changed and doing what your head now tells you is right. And I just don't know if I have the energy either way anymore.

But every bone in my body just wants to fight to get it all back. I can't seem to give up.

I live in hope of him returning to the man he was. I get out, meet new people, get on with my life - but through all that, and even through all the time I was with H, I never met anyone who came close to him or who had the connection that we have.

I just don't know how to give it up. And I bloody hate myself for whining like this! It's just not me. People are going through far worse things.

I guess that ranting is why I'm staying away!

Thank you so much though. I really do appreciate it xx

Baffy, I feel so sad for you. Nothing more to say really, but don't feel bad about having a rant if that helps - we're all here for you. If only he WOULD come to his senses...

PC, thanks for the handyman link. May try them tomorrow. I have two recommended roofers coming to look over the weekend - I feel like I could compile a compendium of roofers after all this. I guess that's the downside of home ownership - but since it took so long to finally have a whole house of our own, I'm not complaining and wouldn't want to rent again. We shall just live in our own home, watching it crumble about our ears .

Yes, I'm up for a 50th birthday party - have to enjoy myself before my pregnancy shows !!! Does anyone fancy a trip to London? I'd offer our spare room, but the Lodger is coming back! She wants to live in London long term & wanted to be our permanent lodger aargh!!! (I told DP it couldn't be permanent, as really I couldn't cope with the loss of privacy again - she takes over too much! - and we'd have to charge her more with the way she has the TV on non-stop, not to mention the computer, washing machine etc - so she'll be here until she finds somewhere else ... now how long might that take? )