New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

Evening ladies just popping by to say still no news
Am mightily fed up and have got induction date for week tom so if it isn't here by then that's the h/birth out of the window!
Oh well what will be will be !

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Well done dior

didnt even know there was competitions on here!!

Lily have you tried raspberry tea? Meant to work a treat. You get in from holland and barretts. We are all thinking of you xx

Pc {{{{{ hugs}}}}

Hello everyone, and Happy New Year!! Have read a little bit of what's going on, but really don't like all these pages on here, prefer the old layout, this puts me off

GUP, good on you for being so strong, that's great. You sound really positive about it all too. Sorry that it came to that, hope you are doing okay.

Dior, well done on winning the DS lite!! My sister has one, they look fab!!

PC - big hugs - it's rotten feeling like that.

Lilyloo, hope something happens VERY soon!!

Sorry, I've not posted on here for ages. Work's been crazy, and I can't get on there here as it's an open office, and just too damn busy!! Well - apart from dd being a bit of a nightmare for past 10 days or so (a phase, right?!? please!?!?!) we are doing well. She's mainly happy, though gets upset for her daddy quite often, actually seems like more lately She was due to start school this week, but that's been another casualty of h's fabulous decision and timing last year - we didn't apply for schools here as we'd moved, so now I can't get her a place at a school that I like. That means she is staying on at nursery for a bit, which is a shame as she is ready for school. Also means I have to keep on paying nursery fees...

Can't remember if I told you that I sort of started seeing a new guy? I actually met him about 7 years ago, and he asked me out but I declined as had just got together with h. We got quite friendly though, and stayed vaguely in touch - a couple of emails a year. He is from New York and came over on business a couple of months ago, so we went out. Ended up really hitting it off and having a great time. He managed to come back to London a month or so later and we just had an absolutely wonderful time. He spoiled me rotten, buying me amazing presents and taking me to fabulous restaurants - very lucky girl

He then came back again the week before Christmas, and my parents offered to take dd for the week so that I could spend more time with him. Wow, it was just bliss, stayed in beautiful 5-star hotel with him, and we had a really lovely time.

So it's all a bit scary - we get on really well, but he lives in NY and travels a lot. He treats me so differently to how h did, I can't get over it. Not just the spoiling me bit, which is obviously lovely, but in other ways. I actually feel valued and appreciated for once. So far the only sort of problem is that when he's away, he's not always great at staying in touch - he will sometimes wait 3 days before replying to an email. I know that's no big deal, but it has made me panic a bit that he's walked away, just like h has, and so I get defensive and upset about it. Am really doing my best to get over it though.....honestly....

I know it's early days, and it's not all smooth sailing, but it's so nice to be back out there and getting on with my life. This is definitely going to be a year about ME!

Sorry so long and rambling. I look forward to catching up with you all!! xxx

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so good to hear from you lilybubble

(on a practical side first - you can reset the pages so it looks like it used to. I hate the new layout too so I did that so every time I log on it's in the old format. just go to 'customise talk board' above )

sounds like you're having some fantastic times with NM! I know what you mean about the lack of contact thing - I had a similar thing with my NM and tbh, it just didn't register to him at first that I'd be waiting on pins for a reply to the text/email or whatever. he was so used to being single, and so busy with work, that he never really thought it through.

but you get to a point where you don't want to moan and risk sounding all clingy and stalker-ish either!

only thing I would say is enjoy every minute, have plans in place in terms of when you'll next spend time with him. but when he is away, try to fill your time with other things so you're not waiting to hear from him. seeing friends, time with dd or family. anything really, just so you're as busy as him, and the gap between communicating with each other doesn't seem so big.

It does sound great though and am so pleased you're finding some happiness after what H has put you through
xxxx

Hi LB and all.

Dont worry too much about the text thingy. my friend is in a similar position and gets all panicy if it is more than a couple of minutes between texts!!!!

I just dont get it though i am from an erea pre mobile phones and emails and when h and i got together i lived in a nurses home and had to queue for the pay-phone just to contact him. He went away just after we met and the only contact then was by letter!!!!

I am not sure the text/email dating is really so healthy but call me an old fashioned cynic.

Have a good weekend everyone - and lets hope it doesnt rain all the time.

Lilybubble, great to hear about NM - best thing is to just enjoy it and not worry too much about the future. I'm with HappyWoman on texts and emails - DD and DP complain that I don't have my mobile on all the time - I tend to check it every so often and only have it on if I'm out or expecting a call.

And I do like old-fashioned postal letters - more romantic, somehow .

I'm feeling very glad that it's Friday - to cap off a crap week, the constant rain this week is now coming through my bathroom ceiling. I'm leaving the toilet seat up so it drips straight in. DP went up into the rear loft and found a lot of water, but no sign of where it's coming in. So hey ho, there goes my Christmas present money...

Anyone know a good roofer in North London?

Hi Tannee

I am the same as you - never seem to have my phone on me and miss lots of calls - i have now discovered how to have home calls divirted to my mobile so at least i seem more popular when i am out but now everyone things i stay at home all day .

Hope you find where the leak is though - are you sure it is coming in from the roof and not a leaking pipe in the roof from the water tank? I hate plumbers (sorry if anyone is one or married to one), but the last one we had i swear bashed one of our pipes just so we got a leak a couple of weeks later and a couple of other 'smallish' (but big billed) problems. Sorry rant over - hope it stops raining for you too then.

Hi guys.
Wow LB - you lucky thing. He sounds lovely.

Tannee - glad things are OK with you and dp now. Its good that he can communicate with you so well when he realises what he's put you through. He's obviously unaware of what he is doing until he comes through the other side of the depression, but at least then he's man enough to admit it and try and put things right.
XP phoned this morning and said I can have the PC back if I still do his work stuff on there and if we can stay friends.
I really can't face the thought of a whole weekend indoors with the dc and no computer so I'm going to try and get it back tonight.
I would like this to end amicably as I'm sick of fighting and crying but how can you go from being engaged to being 'just friends' without it hurting like hell?
I think I need to set some clear boundaries now but I don't know what they should be? Don't get me wrong there will be no reconcilliation and he's not coming back into the house but I don't want to never see him again either.
I'm all messed up.

Great to hear from so many of you already.

Dior - thanks!
Baffy - hello! So glad you know what I mean about the whole contact / stalker thing - it's really hard trying to find a balance. Yes, as he's a man I'm sure he just doesn't even think about it, rather than it being a malicious move on his part. Am just a bit insecure though . Totally agree with your advice, and that's exactly what I'm trying to be sure of, that way I've always got lots to tell him too, so that's good. Thanks too btw for the advice on the page, will go and do that now!!

HW - lol at your friend panicking over a couple of minutes!! My goodness, I am not that bad at all, don't worry!! Ah, have visions of lots of girls queueing for the payphone, that's funny. Yes, I know, we have so much technology these days, and especially with blackberry, fab as they are, you do (in this sort of scenario) imagine that they receieved the email immediately, when often they really won't get it for hours anyway.

Tanee, lol at you and your mobile. I've always got mine with me, and work blackberry too, feel quite lost without them! Yes letters are great, and I was always a big fan. They're lovely, but I can't imagine trying to stay in touch with him with just letters now.... Sorry to hear about the leak, what a nightmare. Isn't there a new section on here with recommended tradesmen?

I'm at home again today as dd is not quite right still (high temp and bad cough). Mainly, she is being really difficult! I am so sick and tired of hearing "I want my daddy". Grrrr. Trying to prepare some work for a meeting I was due to have this afternoon which a colleague is having to do in my place now - oops. Better get back to it I suppose! xx

Great to hear from so many of you already.

Dior - thanks!
Baffy - hello! So glad you know what I mean about the whole contact / stalker thing - it's really hard trying to find a balance. Yes, as he's a man I'm sure he just doesn't even think about it, rather than it being a malicious move on his part. Am just a bit insecure though . Totally agree with your advice, and that's exactly what I'm trying to be sure of, that way I've always got lots to tell him too, so that's good. Thanks too btw for the advice on the page, will go and do that now!!

HW - lol at your friend panicking over a couple of minutes!! My goodness, I am not that bad at all, don't worry!! Ah, have visions of lots of girls queueing for the payphone, that's funny. Yes, I know, we have so much technology these days, and especially with blackberry, fab as they are, you do (in this sort of scenario) imagine that they receieved the email immediately, when often they really won't get it for hours anyway.

Tanee, lol at you and your mobile. I've always got mine with me, and work blackberry too, feel quite lost without them! Yes letters are great, and I was always a big fan. They're lovely, but I can't imagine trying to stay in touch with him with just letters now.... Sorry to hear about the leak, what a nightmare. Isn't there a new section on here with recommended tradesmen?

I'm at home again today as dd is not quite right still (high temp and bad cough). Mainly, she is being really difficult! I am so sick and tired of hearing "I want my daddy". Grrrr. Trying to prepare some work for a meeting I was due to have this afternoon which a colleague is having to do in my place now - oops. Better get back to it I suppose! xx

GUP, sorry I didn't refresh before I posted. Firstly, good plan to get the PC back - think that will do you good to have that.

Going from being in a relationship to becoming friends is definitely very hard, but it is achievable. You have already worked through some of your hurt in the past few months, but it's still not going to just happen straightaway. Just take it slowly. You're bound to feel messed up because your life is changing, and it's all a huge upset.

I'm around if you want to chat xx

GUP I'm sorry you're hurting so much I really don't know how you go to being friends. Not when you love someone so much and they let you down so badly. The love doesn't disappear overnight.

My two pence worth... I don't think you can be 'friends'. Not in the real sense of the word. You can't spend time together doing lovely things and sharing all of the good and bad moments (like real friends do), because it just hurts too much to have that closeness, and then walk away again
It's unnatural.
Because when you love someone you want the next stage, the cuddles and kisses and reassurance. The security. And you can't have it if you want the 'friendship' to work.
I just think it messes with your head.

I just think the boundary is too blurred and for the one who has been let down (but is still so in love) it hurts too much.

On the other hand, I think there is every chance of maintaining an amicable relationship. Discussing the dc. Working together in a practical sense (money, household, work etc). But I would really suggest that that's where you set the boundary.

Don't try too hard to be friends. Just try hard to be nice to each other and do what's best for the children and whatever makes your day to day lives easier.

Then at least you really do know where you stand. But most of all, you have no expectations and therefore, cannot be let down again.

In time perhaps a friendship may develop. And I would love to think one day I could be friends with H. But in reality I know I will never be able to do it, because friendship means a lot to me, and it all hurts too much.

Lillybubble, until recently I thought blackberries were fruit you picked off hedgerows !

Yes, I've posted on the tradespeople thread. Trouble is, even our builder friend couldn't recommend a roofer - which leaves me feeling less than confident.

PC, sounds reasonable to accept the pc as long as it's on your terms - what does he mean about doing his work on it? Will he be doing it, or you? Does that mean allowing him into the house? Personally, I'd accept it for the short term until I'd bought myself a nice new one of my own...

Baffy's right. I don't think most people can manage to be friends unless they've parted amicably. It usually seems to be the guilty party who wants to 'still be friends' - as if that might assuage their guilt. Personally, I wish I'd kept my ex as a friend - he's a good person, just wasn't right as my husband. But having split up, much as I would have liked to be friends eventually, I know that won't happen. We do manage to be polite and keep a friendly tone towards each other, but any conversation revolves around DD and I don't expect that to change.

And most of all, you need time, without rushing things, to just get used to him not being part of your life any more. Any 'friendship' can only come after both of you are happy with that.

hi everyone

GUP, think it's a good idea to get that pc (but then I am 'net addicted!). agree with baffy that it's too soon to be friends. too much hurt and desire for him to fix the hurt. what she's said has pretty much summed up how i feel when i spend time with H, it's always so sad and upsetting when he leaves virtually without a backward glance.

altho still full of promises that he doesn't keep. he forgot to phone dd this morning before her first pre-school session. what a self centered git!

lily, sorry dd is being so difficult. it must break your heart when she demands her daddy when you know the truth and how badly you've been treated. glad to hear you're having a nice time with this (old)new guy. just relax and enjoy it. i think it's perfect that he's overseas, it will help stop you rebounding and stop the relationship becoming too intense too quickly. totally understand about the lack of communication. i know i will have real issues with this if i ever meet anyone else. the way H went awol and didn't/doesn't stay in contact or keep to any regular access plan makes me very jumpy and anxious. i have sms delivery on all my texts and it costs me a fortune but the peace of mind knowing my text has been delivered is worth it. the knowing when it hasn't been delivered is also worth it. in a screwed up way it helps me keep tabs on H which is probably very very screwed up of me!

tannee, good luck with the search for a roofer. wish i could offer some advice but i have none i'm afraid.

anyone heard from TFM recently?

Dior, are you going to get addicted to the nintendo now and abandon us?

I wish I could tell you all what's happening with me

So fed up I can't get on FB anymore and there's so much crap going on at the moment it's unbelievable.

Hopefully catch up with you all over the weekend.

Just send me some positive vibes if you can

baffy, you need an iphone! i've got one here i could flog you lol

actually, i'm doing my final figures after the dust has settled on the house sale/purchase and think i might just be able to justify buying out my contract.

altho it's the cost of a holiday and that pulls me up short!

in fact, i just paid more than that for tickets to latitude!

plenty positive vibes heading your way. if you want to get away from it all and head down here you'd be very welcome!

thank you!

if I don't go away as planned with NM next weekend I may just do that!

things have to get better soon.

I tell ya... I'm the most positive person on this bloody planet - when are the positive vibes going to rub off and become reality?!!

Ooh PC are you loving the iphone? I really want one, but also can't really justify it! NM has got one, have had a little play with that, it's lovely. I totally understand about the delivery reports - yes, more useful when you know it HASN'T got through yet though! Need to pull myself together over it, but easier said than done... Oh and I agree with you that it's good he's overseas. It would have become too much, too quickly if he was here.

Baffy, wish you could tell us what's going on Very frustrating. Seems like there must be a way around it, but not sure what it is - short of a group email?!

Tanee - LOL at blackberries!! It's a weird name to have given them. Good luck with the roofer, wonder why it's so hard to find one..?

GUP, hope you're okay xx

lily, i haven't fired it up yet! got to justify buying out my old contract but i think i've persuaded myself now!

we call them crackberries at work!

baffy, get yourself a train ticket girl!

I may just do that!

May not be on much this weekend but will definitely get on FB at some point to update you.

Hope newname gets back in touch

Have a lovely weekend everyone xxx

Hi all, just a flying vivit to say hello. Have had my Mum here this week so have been away from my pc unfotunately! Hope you are all ok, will catch up properly over the weekend. Thinking of you all x

Baffy, positive vibes....positive vibes...}}}}}}}}}}}