New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

If you look back through this thread (and the support group for partners of addicts) you'll see that I have put up with a lot from him but I thought we'd come through it and were on the right track, but he really crossed the line last night. He was even trying to tell ds that "Mummy's just a bit drunk" when all I'd had to drink all night was a bloody Lemsip!
Ds doesn't want him to leave, he keeps asking me where he is and when he'll be back, I think he feels responsible, poor kid.
I know how he feels - I went through it with my dad when I was a kid and I'm not putting him through any more.
He will have blanked it from his memory by now, he's probably in there moaning about what a bitch I am and how its all my fault.
TOSSER!

thankyou ill look through, i have read this thread a while ago and i knew this wasnt the first time he had done something like this

Drink is a real big problem, my xp used to drink all the time before we had DD, he loved going out with friends while i stayed at home waiting for him, i think this is what he was missing hence him going out all the time now with "her"

Men just can`t see what they put us through when there drunk!

I wouldnt think about him telling everyone what a bitch you are, im sure people know him enough to know your not a bitch at all.

I hope you stay strong, im sure DS will be ok, my DD is asking for her daddy but i just try and take her mind off him as i know he wouldnt go out his way to see DD.

When hes not in work he has "plans" so doesnt give a shit about DD!

I do really feel for you right now, heres to 2008 being the best year yet for us!

I wish we could erase 2007 from our memories but thats not going to happen

ginnedup, i'm so sorry to hear this. was really hoping he'd had his wake-up call the last time and was putting himself on the line to make it okay for you.

alchohol is a scary addiction. i think my brother is an alchoholic now.

he got roaring drunk and stayed up all night on boxing day. his son was 16yrs old yesterday and DB was supposed to give him some money etc so he could hang out with his mates last evening.

DN went out for half an hour and DB was gone when he got back. Wasn't picking up his phone even tho DN, me, H and DM were all calling him constantly. Arranged for DN to go to a friends' place overnight and took my phone to bed.

DB got in touch about 8am. Very remorsful and says he wants to change etc. DN is gutted not to mention very very worried etc.

Have arranged for DN to stay with his friend for a few days and will be speaking to DB later on. I had an inkling of this back in the summer and am kicking myself for not doing something sooner.

mind you, i have no idea what to do tbh.

hope you're feeling better soon and sorry for the hijack!

Just heard from Mac, section went well and dd2 was born at 9:30am. Mum & baby doing well, bit tired. dd1 is a very proud big sis!

Huge Congrats Mac, what a fabulous way to head into 2008.

Yay to McD well done hope she brings you lot's of luck for the new year !

thanks for letting us know PC( hope you have managed to have chat with your brother)
Ginnedup how awful hope you are feeling ok today i am sure you are still in shock!

congratulations macdoodle, so happy for you!

Can`t wait to meet my LO now i also know my DD will be a very proud big sister

Message withdrawn

Congratulations MacD. That's a nice bit of good news to brighten up a crap day.
I took the boys to see Alvin and the Chipmunks then we had fish and chips for tea. They are both knackered so should go to sleep quickly tonight. Fingers crossed.
PC - I think its a good sign that your brother has realised he has a problem and wants to do something about it. That's half the battle, getting them to face up to it.
To be honest, I'm so exhausted and still full of cold that I think I'm going to go to bed soon. I have to drive my parents to Essex tomorrow to visit family, so I need to have a clear head for that (my family are a nightmare - no rows as such but a lot of false niceness with too much going unsaid and undercurrents going on behind the scenes).
No word from tosser yet - bet he's plastered or passed out somewhere. Good. As long as he's nowhere near me or my boys I don't care where he is.

Congratulations MacD! Another DD - brilliant

GUM - thats so crap. Mind you, at least he went when you threw him out - XP would have fought tooth and nail to stay in the building, so of course it wasnt worth the hassle.

I hope your DS is ok, its horrible when they see things like that, but worse when the offending parent tries to laugh it off or lie.

It took an hour of shouting and pushing to get him out the door though. I tried to leave him downstairs and took DS into my bed to calm him down, but dp kept coming up and trying to get in.
I think eventually he figured out that if he went he could carry on drinking as he stumbled out the door with a bottle in his hand
I'm going to have to be so strong the next couple of days and not see him as I know he'll try and talk me round. That's why I told some of my friends about it (usually I don't) but I feel like if people know I'll lose face by letting him back. Does that make sense?
My best friend has told me send a text to her instead every time I feel like contacting him!

Thats a good idea GUM. I found that keeping everything close to my chest isnt always the right thing to do - so many people were really shocked when XP and I separated, because Id been so careful not to let the cracks show. Which made it difficult for some of them to be supportive i think.

Good luck, and sorry youre having to go through this. XPs drinking never got quite that bad, but he was incredibly annoying when he was pissed. Sadly Ive got uncles who are alcoholics, and I know it doesnt make easy living for those around them.

My friends were all lovely about it. One kind of knew already as I had talked to her a bit in the past. Another is in a similar situation but with no kids and she drinks quite a lot herself and the other one has just got engaged so I think I p**ed on her parade a bit, but she was great about it. I think the more people that know now the easier it will be to stay apart. I know I'll be needing lots of pep talks over the next few days.
New Year's eve will be the hardest. My mum is having the dc and we booked a table at a really nice restaurant and were supposed to be going to a party at our local pub afterwards.
Now I'm going to be at Mum's with the dc for a few hours but will go home on my own and try and be asleep by midnight

God, NYE can be the worst, cant it. I remember being really pissed off the year I was pregnant, everyone else was off their heads and I was the boring one sat sober on a bar stool.

Now Id just be grateful for a night out!

I always get a bit emotional on NYE too.

Its just one night I suppose, then a whole new year to make a new start.

I don't think any of us should try to be asleep by midnight. I think we should quietly raise a toast to each and everyone of the Teabags for a fantastic New Year I for one will be thinking of you GUM xxx

PS you need a star chart on the fridge door. Give yourself a star everytime you refrain from contacting him and take such pride from watching your collection grow

I'll put it next to my 'I've stopped smoking' star chart!!!
Giving that up tomorrow too, I'm armed with Alan Carrs book and a packet of nicotine chewing gum. If only I had an anti man book and gum as well!!!

Just use the Alan Carr book to hit DH over the head with

You can do it! I have every faith in you. You are a lot stronger than you believe yourself to be. You have the power to do anything you want to do, you just have to want to do it badly enough xx

Hello everyone - long time no see

Just wanted to say that I've been lurking and taken note of how much strength you're all giving each other. You're all amazing women and I wish all of you the most peaceful and happy 2008 that you deserve

Hi Cash! I've sent you an email.

I hope you were including yourself there, you are an amazing woman too and you have supported us all brilliantly.

Here's to us!

Awww thanks

Include yourself as well

Ginnedupmummy - I'm particularly pleased to see that you've decided that you don't deserve what you've been dealing with very heroically. Although I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to take this step, I do hope that you can see what strength it must have taken for you to do this. I hope that things work out for you - I really really do

Thanks Cash!
Funny - I couldn't do it for myself but I can do it for my dc. I'll protect them at whatever cost to myself.
Bit sad that really isn't it. I definitely have issues!

I remember once watching an episode of columbo where a woman killed her husband with a leg of lamb, frozen, from the freezer. She then cooked the lamb and ate it! Ah hah! No murder weapon, no proof!
Dp is snoring so loudly that I can't sleep. I have lamb in the freezer, a big whopping leg of the stuff....... someone stop me!

Sometimes GUP, we need our children to give us strength and courage. We do tend to use them as an excuse too sometimes i.e. 'i stay for the kids'. They certainly have their uses don't they

Trust you to lower the tone TFM

Have you got any space in that freezer for GUP's ex-dp??

GUP - no matter why you did it - the fact is you did and that's what's incredible to me. I think you're amazing - issues or not