New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

No I don't actually know her but she is friends with a friend of ours IYSWIM

can see yes - god that's hard isn't it. Have you spoken to her at all and asked her to back off? then again thou that really is up to your H. maybe if he did committ back to you then have a word if she's still after him.

Do you think he will let you down over xmas?

why do men think it's acceptable to let their children down at the very last minute for some bit of skirt they've only just met???

Thanks Dior, I will try and get on here more now. I really need some sanity!! Have been so caught up in it all it's hard to get any perspective. Take care & will text when I get up to Mum's x

same as i'm off to bed as well - chin up SG - I keep thinking what will be will be, and we're all incredibly strong to have gotten this far without crumbling - 1 hour/1 day at a time remember that. and also it's his loss - one day he'll realise that he could have had it all again and gave it away. I know it's no consolation but I firmly believe we're the ones better off - for one thing we all have our lovely children, something they won't have.

No I don't know her so haven't spoken. I did get her mobile no (don't ask!) but have no intention of using it, the only thing I would say is that he has a family and please let him try and work it out but if he's told her that already and she doesn't care then what's the point! He'd go bloody nuts if I contacted her. I'm not proud of getting her no either but I was desperate

Yes that's true DTM. I am propping eyelids open too. thanks for listening. Chat soon xx

Night everyone x

Some women are just loons/want someone elses man/selfish little bints whatever - I confronted OW told her he wanted to come back to me that he had a child - she looked me in the eye promised to back off and that it was all him - he then showed me all the texts and voicemails she sent him - 100's TBH from begging to nasty to downright dirty (nasty dirty) not sexy..she had NO pride whatsoever and obviously did not give a shit he had a wife and child - her final attempt to get him was to get pregnant - I have no idea what she sees when she looks in the mirror but can't see how she can be proud of it...yes he is to blame as well but she should have walked away - if he really wanted to be with her then he knew where she was

Bloody hell, MacD What is wrong with these people. I can see H's OW becoming like that from the sound of her. How can they just not care Mind you, I suppose in my H's position anyway all he has to do is be firm with her and tell her properly which for some reason he's not doing.

Think I got wrong end of stick last night re section, is that her not you?

any time sg - mn is great for support - don't forget us!

mcd - OMG!!!!!! what I want to know is where are these womens morals?? seriously FFS. has she backed off now at least?

the OW my H was intrested in (pretty much 99%) is also married but goes off with whom ever she chooses when she's drunk and seems to have no standards at all - she promised H a lot of things - stuff which now it would appear she's taken back and offered to someone else - idiot - his loss, and I hate him for making me thing for the last 6 months of our marriage I was paranoid when I now know I wasn't. controlling manipulative idiot!

on the flip thou if you get thru everything and are still standing together that has to count for something surely?

Sorry SG yes situation is complicated - OW had her baby in July ...we are seperated though he is still very much in my life (no idea what he wants, he assures me there is nothing between them now though he sees her baby)....my baby is due this week (but is breech so planned section on Fri)...yes he managed to get us both pregnant in less than 6 months

hi everyone

thanks for the nice words and sorry to hear everyone's copping it at the mo.

kew, appreciate your popping with some good advice about my mum too. i'm re-organising my working week as of January so that mum only has to stay one night. now dd is at pre-school friday mornings i intend to work compressed hours so i can take friday arvo off. it'll be better all around and mum won't be so restricted in her own diary and won't have to drive home on a friday night etc.

wrt to H, there's really no way i want to spend xmas day with him this year. last year i was desperate to have teh day together and perpetuate the myth and fantasy that we were a family.

i couldn't invite him to my parents' place even if i wanted to. they're concerned that i'll just roll over again and in fact i'm being somewhat economical with information on where we're at. purely on the back of mum's reaction when she heard he'd come over with the humidifier.

i just do think it's a pretty sad state of affairs to spend xmas the way he will be.

we still seem to be in a "communication phase" and he is calling/picking up the phone. delivering dd's gifts this arvo having spent the weekend delivering to his other kids.

i am waiting to see how long it lasts.......

really hope things pick up for everyone over the next few days and that we all have a lovely xmas. regardless, or even in spite of, dickhead OHs!

Just wanted to pop on to wish you all a happy xmas and hope you all get something nice
Special good wishes to McD for baby x

Love to you all LL XX

Message withdrawn

It still hurts me that my Dad spends Xmas with his "new" family that he has known a handful of years and not any of his childrne who he knew for 40 years odd before doing a runner . I think its a sad state of affairs but if I'm being brutally honest with myself, I think he's probably quite happy.

There is an upside to XP not coming for Xmas dinner.

I went to M&S today, bought everything ready prepared, so just need to wack it into the oven or a pan and we're away.

And a second lot to do for Boxing Day.

Now we can spend the day in front of the telly, and not give a damn!

oh well, he came over yesterday arvo to see dd and we had a long talk.

1st thing January 2nd I'll be in touch with a divorce lawyer.

it was fairly civilised altho he did get quite upset. i got a few more answers to some of the questions he's always dodged before.

the talk started because i tackled the whole touchy/feely thing that he's been doing and said it wasn't appropriate etc.

long story short is he doesn't feel able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone. words like "on the brink of sanity" etc. not that i was asking him for that which i found a bit amusing.

he said he wouldn't mind and would understand if i was seeing someone else when i asked him how he'd feel about that. he connected that with me saying the touchy/feely stuff wasn't okay and asked me if i am seeing someone.

i said it's really none of your business either way whether i am or not.

so, there we are then. merry christmas eh

i asked him to babysit NYE for me and he hedged. said he didn't know what he was doing yet. i said if you haven't any plans then you can do it can't you! he said he might like to go to the pub - i said "so bloody would i !!!"

oh pc
'he might like to go to the pub'?!
fwiw I think you're doing the right thing in the new year. He could have a relationship if he wanted to. He's just too bloody selfish to think of anyone but himself.
I really hope you manage to have a lovely christmas and put him completely out of your mind.

and sg - sorry I missed everything. I didn't realise that you now want to try and work things out. So much has happened hasn't it.
FWIW - I would bet that H probably hasn't told her he has a chance of working things out with you. I think he is hedging his bets and for the moment, is wanting to have his cake and eat it. Like you say, he now has some control back and it seems to me, is making the most of it.

I say that from bitter experience because when H and I got back together after the 1st time I found out about OW, he swore to me that he'd told her that it was over in no uncertain terms. Then he said that she called/texted constantly and just wouldn't give up, and that's why he went back to seeing her.

Truth was (as OW told me when I met her) that he had never really called things off with her. He was just blowing hot and cold with her and saying he didn't know what he wanted. (Like he was with me )
So from her point of view she thought she had nothing to lose in trying everything she could to keep him.

(Having said all that, when the day came that he really did end it, she went mental and pretty much stalked him!)

Anyway - all I would say is that to get some of that control back, all you can do is tell him clearly that you're not about to sit round and wait forever for him to decide. I would say to him that if he is finding it difficult choosing between you and his dc, or a woman he's known for 5 minutes, then she is welcome to him. Because there should not even be be a contest.

I guess he may still be reeling from what's happened, badly hurt, and scared of things going wrong again. But that really is no excuse to mess you about. Either he gives you 100%. Or you show him that you'll find someone who will!

I really hope you have a wonderful Christmas xx

Hello my lovely friends

I just popped on to wish you all a most wonderful Christmas. Wear your best frock and your best smile and, if you don't feel it, fake it!!
Don't let anyone spoil Christmas for you!

Then, it's shoulders back, assertive heads on and away we go for a fantastic New Year, lots of fresh starts and fun to be had!

I'm thinking of you all and sending you lot's of love and good vibes XXX

Quick one for me too just to say how glad I am to have 'met' you all and what wonderful friends you've all been this last year.

Have a wonderful Christmas and lets all raise a glass tomorrow - to the teabags and a fantastic 2008

xxxxxx

Hello everyone.

Had a quick read through.Sorry some of you are still suffering.

Macd Good luck for friday will be thinking of you. Cant wait to hear news of you meeting your baby girl x

As for everyone i hope you all have a fantastic christmas including dc's and all your family. I hope 2008 brings you all the happiness you all so richly deserve. May all your hopes and dreams come true for 2008.

All my love

Sugar xxx

Hi everyone - hope you all have better things to do over the next few days than come on here!
so manty of us are in a dark place at the moment, but I hope as Christmas passes we can all move on.
We have some very tactless men - XP thought Id like to know he was all set for his night out tonight with a cab booked to take hiom there and back. Then he comes round to blag some wrapping stuff, presumably for presents not for us.
Baffy, sorry you had such a bad night out when you were looking forward to it so much.
PC well done on getting some stuff out of the way. And I hope you get the night out on NYE! You bloody deserve it.
Everyone else have a great Xmas wherever you are, "speak" to you soon!

xxxx

baffy, so sorry you had to go though that

agree with you about the fabulous people on here tho