New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

SG at texts - just as well Im such a technophobe I cant work out how to use X's phone. I did have to use his landline to make a call today, and saw NWs number on there.

is he trying to make things work with you sg? if he is he really should stop seeing the OW - and tbh she should respect his choice. what ever happened to solidarity amongst women? [shakes head in disbelief at some women]

fusby - I don't thing you ever do really - well tbh I had closure on one relationship (first love) after 6 years. i'm hoping H & I won't have to wait 6 years for closure on our relatiotship - so far thou he's not letting me in at all - all he says is 'i'm not ready to answer those questions yet' WTF does that mean?

sadly thou I think most men are able to compartmentalise (sp) better than women and can almost shrug it off and move onto the next person without feeling/remose/worry. probably easier for them to do that as they don't have LO's to think of at the time if that makes any scence?

The next text was asking him if he fancied going out this eve. I'm wondering if he's at home thinking about things as he said he would be or out with her. I know what I want to believe but I really am starting to belive I might be stupid

nope - i'm sure most of them are still about 5 years old and just want their mothers to cook and clean for them!

Dont know when he met her - havent asked! She's in the same profession as he is but works other side of the county, so suspect he met her through a dating site. I know there is a version of friends reunited for nursesthat he uses so thats a possibility. Dont know if she has children, again didnt want to ask. But he keeps going on about not having time to do any Xmas shopping, yet I know he has bought all DDs presents. So I suspect she has, or else he is showering her with gifts.

(Was going to type a bitchy comment about him never being able to get presents right, but decided not to!)

do you want to try and work things out with him?

I don't know DTM. It's a very complicated and long story.

DTM, know aht you mean about not having the Los to think about. XP can just say he's going out that night, or going away for the WE, and he has nothing to worry about. Meanwhile I get out once in a blue moon.

I think I do want to work things out yes.

Fraustrating how they can suddenly have a single life without a worry isn't it. Mind you I wouldn't be without dc's

SG - you are not stupid. He was hurt and is now probably enjoying being able to hurt you. That might even be subconscious, but i bet he is getting a measure of enjoyment out of having you waiting around for him.

Re NW, she has probably heard a lot of crap too. I agree that she should tell him to go home and make a decision though.

Thats why I was happy to split, because I had DD with me.

fb - I know that annoys me big time - esp as H is making it as hard as possible for me to get out and about and not doing his fair share - apparently it's acceptable to see your child for 3 hours over 7 days and still be a good dad I wouldn't mind but he works 8-4 3 days a week 8-2 2 days a week and has the rest of the time off - idiot. (still must be grateful its' more than some children get - just annoys me he thinks he's such a brilliant dad)

I remember vaguly I think your story sg. does H know how you feel & want to try to work things out wiht you?

no I wouldn't be without ds - would like more help form H thou - but I guess that's not gonna happen any time soon.

I think he wants his cake and eat it. He's already gone off today when he was supposed to be here. I have told him that I want to work it out and proved it to him sexually (that was the one thing that we didn't have) but I have told him today it won't happen again until he makes a decision to give us a proper try and puts her out of the picture which she clearly isn't now. He says he's not sure what he wants.I don't want to be left alone for Xmas. I feel like the trust has gone

I don't want to be jumping every time his phone goes off like I am now, worried that it's her. I feel like he's got all the power now & I need to regain some dignity

DTM that's a rubbish amount of time esp onsidering his work hours.... why can't they see how important they are to their dc's

Thats the hard bit isnt it. I wonder if things would be different if it was you with the NM?

god, he realy is wanting/keeping a foot in both ponds isn't he.

is it an option for you to go back to your family for xmas - I know how much you want H to be there for xmas - (that's why i'm putting up with H sleeping on the sofa cos I don't want to be in the house alone) but he also needs to know that yes you want to try again but on the other hand you can do this without him. He's being completely unfair and stringing you both along.

I'm told the trust will return after about 6 months, but obv H will ahve to really prove to you that he wants to be there and work hard to regain your trust - do you think he's willing to do that?

For me the first thing would be to stop all contact with OW and also get a new mobile number etc. maybe once he's realising what he's missing he'll make a definate decision? it's hard thou isn't it trying to give the impression you don't care but really do.

Well they would be different for a start because of dc's. I wouldn't be able to have that kind of relationship atm as I'm with them 100%. I know that he would feel the same as I do as he's been (unfoundly) in that situation before when he thought I was with someone.

I think i'd expect the same with NG as I would with any NW of H's - after all I can't expect another woman to walk away and let us try again if i'm not willing to let a NG try again iycwim. it's so complicated isn't it - esp once you have children.

I would like to think that H won't forget about DS when he gets a NW but we shall see. if any NG of mine has children then I would expect him to treat his LO's how i'd expect my H to treat DS.

DTM, yes I could go to my Mum's for xmas with dc's but she's 400 miles away so dc's wouldn't see their daddy at all if I went there. H already knows that I'm staying here for their sake to be with him esp after his actions last weekend but still seems unable to commit to anything esp wher OW concerned. He's only to happy to be his usual stubborn self with me and not budge an inch but doesn't want to change any plans with her. If he was to give us a go it would be difficult to never see her again as she is a friend in same social circle

I feel like I've laid myself on the line to him by having sex with him (which happened the first time before anything properly happened between them IYKWIM) and by telling him I want to give it another go & try to work things out but if he has told her what he says he has why is she not getting the message? The only thing I can conclude is he hasn't told her...

Ouch, that must be hard for you, if its someone you know.

Going to bed now. Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you all. SG - keep us up to date won't you? You know we are all here for you. xx