New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

Well I was proud because I didn't do what deep in my heart I wanted...which was smack her in the face and shout at the top of my voice "look its the marriage wrecking lying devious little trollop"...but honestly it just didn't even seem worth the effort...she looked downtrodden and a bit pathetic...

That's good macd

I have to say that if I saw H's OW at the moment I would be scared of what I'd do!

You 'know' me and this is just not like me at all. But I think I have so much anger and resentment built up inside that if I saw her, the way I'm feeling right now, I'd just explode!

Need to find a better way to deal with it don't I. Perhaps join the gym or go to boxing lessons or something!

thats why i do feel proud because same as you I still have all this anger and resentment (to both of them) that I have been suppressing...and knowing I would see her at some stage was a bit worried as how I might react (especially with hormones and everything)....so was surprised that actually I didn't feel quite as bad/angry/hurt as a I was expecting...kickboxing sounds good

Hi Everyone - i have just been to the most fantastic nativity play.

The angels all comparing dresses and showing us what knickers they are wearing. 2 baby jesus' no joseph (he was too shy) I thought it might have been a modern twist with the single parent Mary. The usual wandering shepherds who kept swapping 'tea-towel' headwear and no doubt the nits!!
The fantastic shout singing with one poor girl at least a line behind the others.

The usual fantastic nursery nativity and the best start to the christmas feeling ever.

Of course my angel was perfect.

Hope this brings you all some cheer too.

PC - dont worrry about the bills i got one today that had gone to the previous address and i have been moved nearly a year now.

Well done again MD - i am hoping that when my time comes i will be as dignified as you.

Sorry also meant to say - Dior i know how you feel - because you may not feel your best you think he may not either. I am sure he will be proud of you on Friday and after a couple of drinks you will 'magically' slim down . I know i do sometimes i am a size 0 by the end of the evening.

Baffy ive had the same thing happen to me, 3 of my xps bills came out last week out of my account which he said he would give me the money, and guess what he hasnt! ive now stopped the direct debits, i didnt think i would see the money as he hasnt given me a penny since he walked out on us.

Did he offer to pay back the money baffy?

Im so proud of everything you have achieved and i hope i can do the same and show my stupid xp what i am really worth (when ive had LO)

He even had the cheek to say today that he can only see DD on friday and sunday this week, hes off friday and he said well ill come morning to see her/have her i said no im xmas shopping you can come at 3 he went into a massive strop and said why 3? i had plans to go xmas shopping with the OW (the slapper who he cheated on me with) i said well thats not my problem is it take it or leave it, he said ill call you tomorrow!!

So im waiting for a call now to say "oh im working at 3", or some other perthetic excuse!!

Macdoodle i really dont want to bump into xps OW as i have so much to say to her, but i know i wont say a thing i will also put my head up and smile! and walk on, shes not worth my time!! she can keep the lieing cheating b***d!!!

sorry im so right now with him, its his day off today and he only came to the midwife appointment which lasted 10 mins max and then said i cant see DD today i`ve got stuff to sort out!

Sorry much needed rant

why have they took out some of my ** oh well i`m sure you can tell what i ment to put there lol

Can I join you Baffy?

I seriously need to the kick the hell outta something!

H is badgering me now to collect the few items I have left at the old house. Whilst giving me lots of info about going Christmas shopping and so on etc. Offered for me to leave dd with him on the weekend so I could shop.

WTF! He just ignores anything I say that doesn't fit his world view. I told him we need to discuss access before he will see her.

Told him yesterday that dd's room is really nice now that i have got her bits and bobs up and her wall stickers etc. He said he was pleased for her which made me so Felt like saying "bloody good job she has one parent who cares about giving her a nice place to live".

all this on text/MSN of course, he still won't actually real live speak to me.

mac, top marks to you. retaining the moral highground is soo satisfying isn't it? be proud of yourself, you deserve to be. your dc are really lucky kids IMO.

baffy, bit at NM. guess on one hand it's good that you and he are close enough that he feels able to comment. on the other hand it's not a comment you really need right now.

my DM made a comment about shared assets the other day (she and SD have invested in my property which is how I was able to pull it off (along with Lily's dp's help!)). of course she is right, H would be entitled to some share of this property if he were to pursue it.

honestly, I don't think he would/will tho otherwise he'd have stopped shelling out money to me a long time ago.

the fact that DM felt able to make the comment makes me worry tho. they're investment makes them think they have that right now......

on another note, the guy downstairs creeps me out! met him on stairs yesterday and was asking all sorts of questions about husband and offered me whisky. i said no thanks so then he said next time he'd bring me wine.

then he wanted to stay and chat and i said my best friend was cooking me dinner (true) and then it was all questions about friend being a boy or a girl etc etc.

thinking of putting extra lock on door and never answering door after dd has gone to bed unless i am expecting visitors.

he just really really creeped me out.....

meant to say also - mop he should be jumping at the chance to have dd - not fitting her round his plans to go shopping with OW!

I really hope he doesn't come up with a pathetic excuse and let her down. If he does I'd be making it clear that if he can't fit her in on his days off then you won't be so reasonable in future!

teh attitude of these fathers pisses me of so much. that they can walk out and leave all the responsibility for their kids with us then fit their kids in around everything else and putting them last.

i am so tired today, dd slept great but i didn't.

am trying to work whilst SD is here doing jobs. he keeps trying to talk to me!

DM is on her way and my 18yr old American is also in town. So for 2 nights I get to sleep on the floor in dd's room.

Not putting too fine a point on it, I wish the whole freakin world would just get lost and leave me alone!

I have not had more than 30mins in my own company before 8pm at night (when too knackered to do anything else!) for about 3 weeks!

Of course, I don't mean you lot to get lost and leave me alone!

I'd just really like to sit down with a cup of coffee on my own in my house in peace and quiet.

and I'd like to that for about a year!

I know what you mean pc!

With living at my mum's I feel like I literally never get a minute alone. Would love to just close the door on the world for a few months (years!) and leave them all to it!

thankyou baffy and pc i think he will let her down i just have this feeling, either that or he will say cant i come at such and such time instead and then try and make me feel bad! which im not going to give in this time its 3 or nothing!!, i am trying to do my best and he`s just doing whats best for himself!

I just dont understand how these men can walk out then choose when they can/want to have there DDs DS`s!!

My xp only has one job and he can`t be bothered to make time to see DD, hows your xdh going to fit DS around his 2/3 jobs its like they shut off all feelings when they walk out on us!

PC i think you do need that break, pitty you can`t tell them to go away for half the day or even a weekend!

I live alone now with DD and bump but i feel so alone at night when DD`s in bed fast asleep, mind you i should really make the most of it because when LO appears i bet i wont get 2 mins to myself

Ahhh MN has just made my day!

I sent some gifts for the MN Secret Santa thingy, and I didn't know who they were going to, but just had a really lovely thank you on the Christmas Appeal thread.

I'm sat here at my desk crying my eyes out!!! In a happy way!

Awful day has ended nicely in the end.

I also think I have managed to get tickets for the panto tonight after all (wonderful friend from my old job has been chasing round for me!), so me and ds may get our night out after all

You know what I think we are all finding this time of year really really hard...xmas is supposed to be for families and our twunts of H and P have ruined it.....so we are all angry/hurt/sad....so what I say is BUGGER them - look how well we have all done, look how we have coped and done everything for our DC...WE are great and fab WE have done well and nothing wrong...chins up girls...lets enjoy xmas for us and our DC and not let them wear us down
oh and baffy/PC I am too soft on H/family etc...and I hate it when people tell me that...of course I know I am not stupid....slowly slowly kill the monkey or something like that no???

Just wanted to send you all my support so sorry you are all having such a tough time with your ex p's none of you deserve it or your dc's!

macdoodle i plan to have the best chritmas ever, hes the one missing out and im not going to give him a thought on the day, hes planning on seeing DD for an hour max (thats what he has chose) and after that i havent got to think about him or see him for the next few days, im going to be spending christmas with my family so i wont be alone with DD, this wasnt the plan to start with but my family didnt want me to be alone and they really wanted me and DD to be with them

I know xp wont give a monkeys where i`m going or what we will be doing on christmas as i know he will be with "her".

This is the first christmas without xp, as i was with him when i was 14 and i can`t remember a christmas without him!

That's the spirit ladies - don't let the bastards get you down! We are the lucky ones - we've got beautiful dc and they will put the smiles back on our faces!
MOAP - Its good that your family are so supportive and you won't be on your own.
Roll on 2008 - fresh starts all round!

What's with the men? Is there something in the water that's making them behave even MORE like t**ts than usual?

Baffy, how was your evening? Loved the Nativity Play description - especially the one-parent Holy Family !

Fubsy, how's the puppy? Puppies are like taking on children - a huge responsibility - but worth it in the long run - and he'll give you SO much love. I love it when I open the bedroom door in the morning and my kitties run down the landing mewing their greeting - even though all they're really saying is, 'Feed me now!'

PC, sorry to hear about the creepy neighbour - good idea to put a spyhole in your door I think - and drop lots of hints about your 'man' - even if you have to invent one!

Well, dp is still behaving well - I excused myself from a theatre party last night - really wasn't in the mood and I didn't know the people. He seemed very put out and said did I trust him with all those gorgeous actresses, and I said yes because they'd all be young enough to be his daughter (aren't I mean ?) He came home really early and said he hadn't enjoyed it much. There are two types of actor, he said, those like our friends, who are real people and lovely, and those who shout a lot to get themselves noticed and are well up their own arses. Most of the party guests were the latter. He went looking all dishy in a cream suit and trilby, and people kept asking, "who's the guy in the hat?" and then losing interest when they found he wasn't famous.

So he came home to the real world - me !

Loved the nativity description. One of the girls got up at DS show and tell last week and showed everyone....her new knickers...ROFL...apparently the teacher was very cross but I guess she was just really pleased and wanted to share them with everyone.

Baffy sorry to hear what you ExH has done...the same thing happend to a friend of mine unfortunately her ex spent thousands - I guess your NM just doesnt like to see you being taken advantage of but you do need to protect yourself and DS. You are SO much stronger now and next year will get better

Hi everyone!

Sorry to hear so many Xs are still acting like tw*ts. Funnily enough mine is being quite civil, although that may have something to do with all the problems he's having with his new flat.

Puppy is really coming on well - its me who's having the problems. I burst into tears at work today, which ive never done before. Im sort of reliving all the insecurities I had when DD was a baby, not being a good enough parent etc. I have to keep reminding myself he is a dog, not another baby.

Im taking him for his checkup at the vet tomorrow, so Im hoping to get some reassurance then.

Fubsy - a puppy is a big responsibility. DSon't beat yourself up! You have had a stressful time of things lately, as have we all, and i think a lot of us will be glad to see the back of it!

I have just about had enough of my ds . I am thinking about getting him tested for ADHD. He constantly talks, thinks he needs to be the centre of attention all the time, interrupts conversations between me and h. I know that is 'normal' behavious but it is so wearing. I also have a problem with him in that I tell him off for something, he says sorry and then immediately does it again, as if he can't actually take in that I don't want him to do it. It is really getting me down and I spend all my time telling him off. It is getting to the stage where I feel ashamed to leave him with friends in case he does something I shouldn't.

Dior, I have exactly the same thoughts about DD! I feel like I am always on her case.

I feel awful tonight as after she had gone to bed she called me when she heard me go into my room to sort out some washing.

When I went to her room the puppy ran after me and nipped my trousers, tearing them. Then I tripped over some of the stuff on her floor and swore.

In the morning, Ill ask her to put her clothes while I make breakfast, 10 mins later she'll be in exactly the same position staring into space or she'll wander off and do something else.

Im coming so close to asking one of he paediatricians at work to check her over. Then Ill think again, and think surely she's not that bad.

Then Ill see a child at work and think - that child is no worse than DD - but does that mean she has a problem, or that the other child hasnt?

Im becoming very cnfused.

Dior, i think a lot of it is situational. When X first moved out, DDs behaviour was awful for about a week, then as I was ablwe to give her more time, she improved no end.

But now I feel so stressed, with the puppy, work, Xmas, the mess in the house etc, I just dont feel Im there for her enough.

Could your DS be picking up on your tension around working things out with H, getting ready for Xmas and all that? Im sure if he was ADHD his school would have mentioned some conserns.

I think when we are not feeling our best and with all the pressures at this time of year, and the fact the the children are all hyped up and trapped indoors for longer, we are more likely to find the faults in our children.

I know it is a sign that i am doing too much when i dont enjoy mine and just wish their time away until bed time .

Dior i am sure he is fine when with others - they seem to have a knack of being angels with others and complete horrors with us.

Busy weekend ahead so may not be here as much so have a good one everyone.