New Fab & Glam (Part 2 - happy endings?!)

[Baffy]

Lets hope this is the thread where we all find our happy endings

its funny, XP and I nearly split up about 11 years ago because he wanted kids then and I wasnt sure if i did.

Now we have one, its been such a life changing experience for me, Im no way the person I was, but he's the one who doesnt seem able to cope.

Oh bless Baffy these things happen...but at times like this that I feel the lack of H/daddy so keenly - you just want someone else there who cares You did great ...
Am so pleased that My "little accident" has happened but quite scared as it gets closer...woke with the most horrific cramp...in my leg this morning and terrified DD with my screaming...she wanted to call 999 and then call daddy..really felt for her its a lot of responsibility for a 6 year old

thanks macd

part of me still feels overwhelmed at the lack of H/daddy, especially at times like that. but tbh even though sometimes it's hard alone with a toddler - I get all the best bits too. I got the best cuddle last night, and ds slept with me with his legs over me and suggled up. I love moments like that

leg cramp sounds really painful your dd sounds like a little star though. I'm sure she's fine. and so excited about being a big sister. I bet her support and help with be a godsend when this lo comes. she's a lovely age to really appreciate it

hey baffy hope your your ds is ok today?
My dd saw father christmas twice the weekend, i took her on friday night to see him, and on saturday morning her auntie and great-grandma took her to see him again, so she was over the moon
As for her useless father he hasn`t even mentioned wanting to take her to see him at all!! His loss not mine.
DD did go all shy on friday and told him she wanted a night garden cake as i made her wait till saturday for her suprise cake, poor DD!

macd i had really bad leg cramps when i was having DD i used to wake up screaming and xp used to think i was going into labour only for me to ask him to rub my legs, ahhh those was the days!!
I hope i dont get them this time round as i havent got anyone to rub them better mind you im not half as big as i was with DD i just look chubby not pregnant lol

thanks mop

I think he's ok. He's with H. I try to resist the urge to call all of the time because 1- I know he is absolutely fine with H. And 2- if I do hear him crying in the background I won't be able to work/concentrate/think straight because I'll just want to go home and get him!

Things are made worse today because I'm going to see Take That tonight straight from work. Which I really want to go to. But I actually just want to be with my baby when he's ill.

It's hard sharing them with other people isn't it!

Take That should be good though

Hope you getting settled in PC
Baffy your poor ds am sure he will be fine.Sounds like a terrible father christmas though! Have a great time tonight am very
Mcd how you, enjoying mat leave , anything nice planned ?
Sorry to all you lovley ladies and your dc's that their daddys let themdon just a good job you can make up for it, but you shouldn't have to

Well went to Lapland UK and have to say kids loved it and the santa was fab.
However the 600 mile round trip when your 4 weeks away fromgiving birth not that great and am very at the twunt who broke into our car at the hotel the night before nat stole our sat nav
However tried to not let it ruin our day and was lovley to seedc's so excited

Baffy im sure hes o.k, he`s probably not thinking about the bump now and instead is probably keeping his daddy on his toes!

hi everyone, just managed to catch up on this after too many days away. Wow, all these babies - makes me feel quite broody! And a puppy - I'd love a puppy - might be one way of keeping all the neighbours' cats from using my garden as some enormous litter tray - but then my own cats would leave home . I don't know what they'd make of a dog - and it wouldn't be fair to the puppy as he'd be home alone a lot.

Well, dp's being a star - only fell off his pedestal briefly on Wednesday when he got very drunk and muttered about dd coming between us because she'd gone to a gig and I wouldn't go to bed with him until she'd come home. Turned out his hernia scar was hurting and he was worried about it - and expressed it in all the wrong way. He apologised. Had a long talk in bed last night about what an arse he'd been earlier this year, and he said he'd found the whole moving in together thing a bit of a shock, but being away in Germany gave him time to think things through and realise how much he loves me. He's certainly being a sweetie - so far...

And he was great when dd accidentally smashed his favourite large wine glass on Saturday - really played it down. (I was quite glad as it was a huge glass - he now has to use our regular glasses, which means he'll drink less at a time )!

Or just fill them up more often !

Tanee - at least he is learning to communicate with you.

Hi everyone. Still feeling tearful and panicky.

I really thought having a dog would be a good thing for me and DD. And i felt fine until a couple of days ago. But I just feel out of control and unable to cope with anything except the dog at the moment.

To make things worse, today he started nipping. I know its just puppy behaviour, but he's drawn blood on me, and Im worried he'll do the same to DD. Ive got the Its me or the Dog book, and its got some great ideas. but Im having to train DD as well, and she doesnt always remember what to do.

Its not that he needs to be rehomed or anything, or at least I hope not. Its almost like when I had PND, Im so anxious about whether or not Im doing the right thing, can I cope etc.

Yes I know the obvious answer is to rehome him while he's young enough to deal with it. But Im hoping it will pass. I just want to tell someone about it, because I think if I tell anyone in rl, they will think I am crazy.

We don't think your crazy Fubsy. Sorry you're feeling down. it's a big responsibility having a dog and especially when you are on your own. I'm sure its just teething troubles (pardon the pun!)
Baffy at Take That. Just remember Mark Owen is spoken for - he's mine!!!!

fubsy, different scenario but am also feeling a bit like you describe.

rabbit stunned in headlights at the mo. so much to do, not much getting done as feel incapable of making any decisions. even things like calling mobile phone co to change address! do things like put a wash on instead. bags and boxes still unpacked.

i just feel flummoxed by the aftermath of teh move and probably pretty anti-climatic. also getting anxiouss-ness etc.

i tried really hard not to let this flat move lull me into thinking all my problems would be solved and i would wake up in utopia!

i haven't done that but i still feel pretty bleak about realising just exactly what i have done here and the finality it implies for my marriage.

dd and puppy will respond well and quickly i am sure. but if it's too much then cut your losses and re-home puppy before it makes you ill.

big hugs, know how you feel xx

also, h's texts have been very cold since sunday. i left the wedding photos on the shelf and a couple of other things which i think may have upset him that i left them.

why do i care ffs!

Big deep breaths ladies! Exhale slowly

You have done amazingly well, coped with so much so bravely and independently. You are allowed to have a little quiver now and again, a little panic, it is just a gentle reminder of how far you have come and how well you have done.

Fusby - I know it's difficult but, try not to 'think' too much, overthinking is our own worst enemy sometimes.
You are a super mummy to dd and you are going to be a super mummy to your new puppy you just need to believe in yourself. You won't be letting him down if you rehome him either, you will be acting in his best interest, you will be doing what you feel is best for him. That makes you a caing and responsible person.

PC - if you can't face phoning people then why not email them? Most of the time it's easier to send an email anyway, it's more direct and a lot less faffing about.
As for Utopia, it's there somewhere, you just haven't realised it yet, your mind isn't in the right mindset yet, you are still looking at what could have been and what you feel you have given up on, but trust me, one day you are going to open the door to your new home and realise you were in Utopia all the time
You have done so much and come so far in such a short space of time, you have been driven by your determination to move and make a fresh start for you and dd, away from all the crap. This period is probably just catch up time, all your emotions are catching up with you after being buried for the past few months. You just be nice to yourself, treat yourself kindly, wallow a bit if you need to, don't force anything, just allow yourself to feel it. It will pass, I promise you xx

You care because you are a lovely person and you don't want h to think otherwise. You are hurting PC, you want to hurt H too by showing him you don't care, that you have given up. Trouble is your heart hasn't caught up with your head yet

He will be a bit put out because he is feeling out of control. You are calling the shots. He is showing his hurt by sending cool texts. He will be waiting for a more friendly text from you. The ball is in your court

thanks TFM but seems i was 2nd guessing once again. just been over to get a few other bits and evidently he hasn't been there at all. despite implying he was.

tosser

Thanks, everyone. Youre such a lovely bunch!

PC, Ive had a similar thing when moving house - you start thinking have I done the right thing, etc. And even though I didnt move this time, XP did, it was such a pain dealing with leccy, BT, TV license etc, and dont get me started on internet!

TFM's idea of emailing people about change of address is a good one, lots of these companies are difficult to get to speak to a human anyway.

Its change isnt it? This is what people really mean when they talk about fear of change. its not just a tweak to your working paterns or something, (I hear a lot about dealing with change at work which pisses me off!) its having to come to terms with the fact that the whole life you thought you had is no longer there.

Proud of me
In town today walked past OW and her baby - held head up high didnt look or say a word...felt sad and even bit sorry for her - she messed up so many lives and didn't even get what she wanted....no idea what kind of relationship H has with her or baby but knowing him and how he is with me - it is not going to be what she wanted or good for her in any way.....
I feel am moving on slowly ...by far felt the stronger person and so proud of myself that I didn't do anthing wrong that I can consider myself the only one that behaved in the decent way, that I can look my children in the eye one day and be proud of the way I behaved...not sure what she will ever be able to say to justify her behaviour ..... just didn't feel as bad as I expected

Well done MD - that is exactly it you will be able to look your children in the eye without any guilt.

I too feel sorry for the ow in my case - she has lost everything for nothing - she left her h and Dc's and is now doing a job i am sure she is not that happy about (she said she only loved the job because of working with him). I just wish i had the chance to face her from time to time too it may make it easier for me to let go of her power over me.

I may not have always done things i am proud of but at least i have not left my children and can at least talk to my children about what happened with out any remorse.

PC - do take care of yourself - moving is a stressful time at the best of times but at this time of year too when there seems to be a hundred and one other things to do it must seem so very hard. I for one think you are doing a fantastic job i am exhausted just reading about all you have had to put up with.

Just popping in to say 'hey there!' to you all. Had a bit of a whingy day with h (working from home). I raised the weight issue again because of something he said. I said that I didn't think anything had changed and that I am dreading Friday night because I want him to be proud of me no matter what my size. We argued. Eventuaslly, I left to get ds from school. He asked for a kiss and I said, 'If you want one?' He seemed all sorry and gave me a nice cuddle, and said that he IS proud of me and that we will have a fab time on Friday night.

I know a lot of how I feel stems from my own insecurities, but I can't help but think that the insecurities come from him too!

Dior, nice to see H can be the first to give in sometimes - that makes a huge difference.

McD - well done. You are definitely getting stronger, and should be proud of yourself

fubsy it does sound like hard work with the puppy. but give yourself credit - you're training a new puppy, as well as teaching dd how to behave towards him, and you're doing your best, reading up on it etc.
you can't do anymore than you're doing so don't give yourself a hard time. be proud of what you're achieving!
i'm sure you'll see improvements quickly. remember you can do this. and once he learns the rules you'll have a lovely new member of the family who i'm sure will always bring a smile to your face.

remember how hard it is with a newborn! but they're worth the hard work in the end!

macd well done for the way you coped with seeing OW and her baby. you did fantastically well. you've definitely come out of this the stronger (and better) person.

pc it sounds so difficult. i know what you mean about putting off even the tiniest thing like calling the phone company. i feel like that at the moment too.

you've come so far. and you should be so proud of yourself. with each day that you get through you're a step closer to that utopia. i promise!

I had a big go at H this morning. ds and I have had a tummy bug and were really ill last night. H has let us down over something (again!) and just sent a text saying 'sorry' with a couple of sad faces. That's it! Knowing we were both really ill, and had been looking forward to this thing tonight (which we needed H to get the tickets for), and all he says is 'sorry, hope you're ok'..... No I'm not!!

So I told him to stop wallowing in self pity, he's pathetic and we're better off without him anyway. He just replied saying 'I know, I've been telling you for ages that you're better off without me'!
Good job he's not anywhere near me because i really feel like punching his lights out right now!!!

Maybe this means I'm somewhere on the road to getting over him!