DH not happy that I change clothes in the evening

[DataColour]

Not brave enough to put this in AIBU.

I'm sick of DH telling me off for changing into "lounge wear" typically a hoodie and trackie bottoms in the evening. He says I look nice during the day when I am at work ( casual dress code) but in the evening as the kids are going to bed 8-9pm I change out of day clothes. Isn't this normal? He wants me to stay "dressed" till I go to bed (which is what he does). I want to tell him to f off.
He's just stormed out of the house because I'd dare to put a pair of joggers and a hoodie on. I've had enough of his 1950s attitude. It really upsets me.

@I0NA

I cant decide what’s worse

A man dictating what his partner wears when she’s relaxing around the house or

Posters on this thread judging other women as lazy and bad parents for not wearing a dress and high heels while doing housework.

It’s like I’ve slipped through a hole in the space/ time continuum and landed in 1950.

LOl. I agree with you :)

Oh and they get their sticky fingers all over, i am constantly cleaning them and myself esp the younger one!

I love my loungewear, but DH and I did realise during lockdown that it can be easy to fall into a habit of not making much of an effort. We both try to avoid getting straight into loungewead every day.

The issue is that your DH thinks he can get moody and dictate what you wear. That's not OK.

He stormed off over this?
What outfit was he sporting at the time, a babygro?

Lol he'd hate me, I wear loungewear at all times in the house. Screw wearing jeans all day.

Also but sorry is there a reason he doesn't think his wife is attractive even in her PJs? He doesn't sound normal to me.

Normally I drop dd at school and change into a onesie or lounge wear to potter about the house doing cleaning or whatever. He needs to understand he isn't in control of what you wear.

@I0NA

I cant decide what’s worse

A man dictating what his partner wears when she’s relaxing around the house or

Posters on this thread judging other women as lazy and bad parents for not wearing a dress and high heels while doing housework.

It’s like I’ve slipped through a hole in the space/ time continuum and landed in 1950.

I don't think anyone mentioned high heels or indeed necessarily a dress - though I personally think there are few things more comfortable than the right dress - just clothes that are by the smallest margin less comfortable but not uncomfortable per se. So, soft chino type trousers and a jumper or cotton top, or a nice cotton dress in summer. Hardly sends us back to the 50s does it?

@theleafandnotthetree you are missing the point - presumably you choose your own clothes as should the Op.

[quote Notonthestairs]@theleafandnotthetree you are missing the point - presumably you choose your own clothes as should the Op. [/quote]
Exactly.

To be honest, around here it's the lazier parents that are the ones in the joggers, pj pants etc. Theyre not in them because they want to spring into life with their kids so far as I see.

How horribly judgmental, you have no idea why people wear the clothes they do.

@DataColour

He's a teacher and is in a suit all day or cycling gear as he cycles to work. Then he changes into jeans/trousers and top till bedtime. I wear the hoodie and jogging bottoms perhaps 2/3 times before washing, is this skanky of me? But his main objection is that I get out of my day clothes. Utterly fed up with it. Everyone I go to put my evening clothes on I have to listen to him complain. He's an idiot.

Tell him to mind his own bloody business.

No-one's told you what to wear since you were about 10.

I do stay 'dressed' till after dinner, but then asap I'm in my pyjamas and dressing gown

I just think it's nice to want to look good for each other, and not just let go of our self's once the relationship is comfortable 😂. When my partner walks about in sweat pants I istanly don't wanna sleep with him and its horrible to look at someone slouching in baggy cloths but each have their own preference and standards I guess.

theleafandnotthetree
I know what you mean. I've got some nice comfortable clothing that means I don't go straight to loungewear all the time. I also feel a bit more motivated when I'm in 'real' clothes, but none of that matters because if my DH thought he could tell me off for what I choose to wear, he'd be told where to go.

@Moon90 you can look nice in loungewear - if you fancy being really fancy you can get cashmere loungewear for 4 figures minimum. Designers have collections specifically for it if you want to be ultra posh whilst being comfortable

Sweat pants/holey clothes/baggy clothes are not the same as something that is comfortable for the evening in the loungewear/pyjama department

I WFH and do tend to wear my usual 'work' clothes. Whether I change or not depends on what I'm wearing that day and how I feel. But no-one gets to criticise what I wear or sulk about it. And if I want to have dinner on the sofa, I bloody well will. We only have one TV in the house so DD2 (the only one living with me right now) and I work out what we watch - but we do not put down each other's choices.

The clothes aren't the issue here, it's OP's husband's controlling nature and complete lack of respect for anyone who isn't him.

@Moon90

I just think it's nice to want to look good for each other, and not just let go of our self's once the relationship is comfortable 😂. When my partner walks about in sweat pants I istanly don't wanna sleep with him and its horrible to look at someone slouching in baggy cloths but each have their own preference and standards I guess.

Well, some people do set store exclusively by appearances, don't they?

Yanbu OP. Anyway I grew up in a country where we always change our clothes after we arrive home from work/school/outside. They tend to be on the comfy side and we call them 'housewear'. It just feels wrong for me to wear in the house what I've been wearing the whole day outside as it would be dirty so I wouldn't want to stay in it at my home.

Well too old to care now, but when younger can understand getting the bloody bra off to be comfortable. I did wear nice nighties slinky, full length back in the day to bed, but before bed wore what the hell I liked. He never complained but he is uber casual himself so could not have said a word about my attire.

*'13:41Lachimolala
To be honest, around here it's the lazier parents that are the ones in the joggers, pj pants etc. Theyre not in them because they want to spring into life with their kids so far as I see.

How horribly judgmental, you have no idea why people wear the clothes they do.'*

Exactly and others could judge this pp as being an uninvolved parent more interested in getting a manicure and choosing a handbag than her kids! It's not nice to judge and who cares who others want to wear!

To be fair some folk have gone a bit mad in lockdown, I am struggling with my god daughter, in Florida who has gone a bit mental covid wise, my phone call to her yesterday I was seriously worried about her mental health. As was OH.

what*

I love washing off the day at around 8pm after my younger children are in bed and getting into my pyjamas. MIL thoroughly disapproves and reapplies her make up to sit and watch tv in the evening. Thankfully her son doesn’t share her views.

I always get washed and dressed in the mornings but do sometimes stay in leggings after I’ve done yoga in the afternoon. I also sometimes put them on for the whole day at the weekend if I’m not doing much which I would never have done 18 months ago!
I used to not see why pyjamas/loungewear was any more comfortable but then I had my 4th child and my whole perception changed. I now have a real issue with waistbands and behind the knee and there are certain things I can’t wear without wanting to claw my skin off.

I don't change clothes for the evening. I put on one set of clothes in the morning and wear them all day. Could be jeans, could be a skirt, could be a dress.

But if anyone else thinks they can tell me what to wear, husband or otherwise, they can fuck off. I'll wear what I'm comfy in thanks.

Yanbu OP. Anyway I grew up in a country where we always change our clothes after we arrive home from work/school/outside. They tend to be on the comfy side and we call them 'housewear'. It just feels wrong for me to wear in the house what I've been wearing the whole day outside as it would be dirty so I wouldn't want to stay in it at my home.

I can’t sit on my bed or sofa in ‘outside’ clothes. I feel like it’s dirty and germy.

@DataColour

Together for 21 years. It's the only relationship he's had, but he claims that no other women change out of day clothes before bedtime.

I think you can safely tell him that pretty much all women change out of their day clothes before bedtime!! I think I might hold the world record for how quickly I can go from front door to loungewear.