@theleafandnotthetree
Mmm, he sounds a bit of a dick and controlling to boot but I really don't get this obsession with what I'd call extreme comfort, as if anything other than a pyjamas or pyjama like outfit is the equivalent of chain mail. And it has seeped out of the home and into public life. A year into this pandemic and I am heartily sick of seeing men and women in the most God awful soggy baggy ugly clothes and long to see people make a bit of an effort. I wore a nice summer dress last summer around the village and felt like people were staring at me. I just think we have to maintain some kind of standards for our own self respect, out of respect for the people around and yes, to look attractive for the person we love. He is not looking for her to dress up, just not dress down so much. As an aside, all this comfort is a bugger in terms of not letting you know when you've put on a few pounds.
"Extreme comfort 😂"
I'm totally the opposite - think COVID has been a positive in terms of people being able to ditch some standards which take a lot of time and effort.
Women generally are expected to spend more time and energy and money on appearance and when you add that to the impact of carrying and raising children, the gender pay gap isn't very mysterious.
Fashions change and leisurewear has become a n acceptable 'look'. It doesn't have to be saggy old joggers, it can be a cashmere tracksuit or a silk pj set with matching kimono and anything in between.
In terms of your DH, OP, it sounds like he doesn't have much perspective or control of his emotions which I've noticed in many people since lockdowns. I think it's the lack of having to moderate ourselves around other people, our minds are allowed to build and build on our own weird ideas. Like political opinions seem more polarised now.
So I think he deserves a smidgin of understanding for that, if he's genuinely gone off the deep end a little bit. HOWEVER, if that was the case you'd expect he'd be back with an apology and a sense of how absolutely bizarre it is to make claims about what other women wear in their own homes in the evening. Where is he getting his information? What is his sample size?
The idea that if you're different at home it means you care less is so weird. Everyone has different behaviours outside the home. It's a sign of being close if there are ways uou can be together that you wouldn't do in company.
In my view, trying to bring outside the home behaviours inside the home is very, very odd. A pointless waste of time and so suffocating! I couldn't bear to be told to be more formal in my own home.
There's a meme about this topic. It's just a short piece of text someone tweeted which is along the lines of:
"My friend was going to come over for drinks but she cancelled so now I'm sitting here wearing jeans in my own home like a sicko"