Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

MrKids works very long shifts so we've scheduled a call in for when he's either on a break or done with his shift.

I've been exhausted/under the weather for the last few days so hardly been in contact with anyone, really sets the interested parties apart, and nice to have some caring words thrown my way ☺️

@frankiefirstyear

MrKids works very long shifts so we've scheduled a call in for when he's either on a break or done with his shift.

I've been exhausted/under the weather for the last few days so hardly been in contact with anyone, really sets the interested parties apart, and nice to have some caring words thrown my way ☺️

@frankiefirstyear

frankiefirstyear ahh me too! A couple of years ago i met an iron in an aldi carpark and we got a trolley each 😄 was such fun and so much easier on the nerves.
Irons seem to like these more quirky hello meets so if it doesnt work tomorrow then I shall pretend to the next person that I need to find a climbing plant and can they help....!

Hello,
Can I join please? I've decided that i'm fed up of being single and so I decided to make an effort with OLD. I've tried before but haven't touched it for 3 years.
So far its going abysmally. I've had a few short exchanges that have gone nowhere, one guy that seems quite weird and one that immediately started sending dick picks (ugh)

One guy thankfully seemed normal and we've been chatting for 2 weeks. Last weekend he suddenly disappeared and I thought he had ghosted me but then he re-appeared again apologising saying he had an account issue on bumble. As its been going well I suggested meeting up this weekend - I have a rare child free weekend and want to make the most of it.
I've logged into Bumble to see if there is a reply and his account has been deleted. No idea if this is related to me asking him to meet but I guess it could be.
So it's back to the drawing board, OLD is so frustrating.

@10YellowTulips

Hello, Can I join please? I've decided that i'm fed up of being single and so I decided to make an effort with OLD. I've tried before but haven't touched it for 3 years. So far its going abysmally. I've had a few short exchanges that have gone nowhere, one guy that seems quite weird and one that immediately started sending dick picks (ugh)

One guy thankfully seemed normal and we've been chatting for 2 weeks. Last weekend he suddenly disappeared and I thought he had ghosted me but then he re-appeared again apologising saying he had an account issue on bumble. As its been going well I suggested meeting up this weekend - I have a rare child free weekend and want to make the most of it.
I've logged into Bumble to see if there is a reply and his account has been deleted. No idea if this is related to me asking him to meet but I guess it could be.
So it's back to the drawing board, OLD is so frustrating.

Hiya, it won't be related to you, either it's a snafu or there have been complaints about him 😞

There have been richer pickings recently post Covid and depending on where you live / your preferences hopefully you'll see a few come through. Are you on more than one app?

In any case good luck with it all

Welcome @10YellowTulips

Yes that sounds quite online dating typical - lots of things that fizzle out! Bumble is worst as I always seem to have a page full of perfect matches and then none of them really take off!

I think just sticking to boundaries and being patient is the main thing - I used to accept weird contacts just to have a date (even if there were red flags) and that was even more of a strain than NOT getting dates!

Hopefully there’s an influx of new people now with everyone getting vaccinated etc

Thanks for the encouraging words - hopefully someone else will pop up, I'm London so plenty of options.

Mama - this bloke was quite polite & normal so would be surprised if there were complaints, although he had just sent me a shirtless pic so maybe he was gearing up to dick pics..

I've taken the plunge and paid for match as previously not had much luck on the free sites. Bumble is the only other one I'm on. I guess I could try tinder/pof too

I'm just gutted because I never have a child free weekend and now that I've finally got one I have no date.

@10YellowTulips

Thanks for the encouraging words - hopefully someone else will pop up, I'm London so plenty of options.

Mama - this bloke was quite polite & normal so would be surprised if there were complaints, although he had just sent me a shirtless pic so maybe he was gearing up to dick pics..

I've taken the plunge and paid for match as previously not had much luck on the free sites. Bumble is the only other one I'm on. I guess I could try tinder/pof too

I'm just gutted because I never have a child free weekend and now that I've finally got one I have no date.

I hear you! Child free weekends with no date can be a downer. Someone on here was suggesting MeetUp as a way to get together with people - platonically. I think it's slowly coming back to life? Could you do that?

@Marlboroandmalbec34 welcome back to the thread - I remember you on here when I first started posting :)

@VanGoghsDog I hope you're getting through this tough week OK.

@10YellowTulips welcome to the thread :) It's possible he decided to delete his account himself - maybe he's met someone else, was caught by a partner, or just became fed up with OLD and decided it wasn't for him. As Spring says, this is pretty common - it's hard to not take it personally, but you really shouldn't.

Actually, that reminds me - I received a warning from Bumble not long after I first joined for inappropriate behaviour. I sent them a message asking what I was meant to have done, as I'd always been polite, respectful and hadn't sent any dodgy pics or messages. All they said was that someone had complained about me, but they couldn't say what about, however if it happened again they'd delete my account. After a lot of back and forth, I ended up threatening to report them to the ICO if they didn't divulge the notes on my account, which resulted in them looking into it and telling me that it was actually a mistake, and I'd not done anything wrong. So it's quite possible people get their accounts deleted even when they haven't done anything wrong.

If you're in London then I'd give Hinge a try too. I tried Match and PoF too, but both are pretty dire.

I get you 10YellowTulips about childfree weekends.My son has been with me every night for the last 15mnths and his aunt has asked for him to stay this weekend,but I have no date.
It could be worth trying tinder as I joined in the autumn and although I only get a couple of matches a week,everyone so far have been really friendly and respectful. I havent been on pof for a while as last time I wasnt able to hide my profile for some reason which I sometimes like to do.
Anyone know the game 'guess who'? Pof reminds me of the men on there 😃

Hi All.
I hope you don't mind me crashing the thread and joining you?
Been OLD on and off for about 8 months....its been.....an education!!!
Currently talking to a couple of irons atm..strangely the ones I like I'm almost too scared to meet up with...
Anyway, thanks for letting me join your merry band

I had a date last night - I'd prepared in advance, and booked a table at a nice riverside pub half-way between the two of us. Which would have been lovely, if it wasn't freezing cold, with a bitterly cold wind blowing off the river. I think I'm just about done thawing out now.

However I was slightly miffed as about 15 minutes into the date she asked if I minded if she smoked. Now I really don't like smokers, and filter them out on the apps - however she'd said on her profile that she doesn't smoke. So that was a waste of time.

I've got another date tomorrow lined up with Miss Yoga, and a couple of other chats that may result in a date but no one really that excites me. I'm just not sure that the apps are the best way to meet people, but I'm struggling to think of where else it might happen. My therapist has suggested I go for salsa dancing lessons, so I might give that a go once things open up, but other than that I'm stumped!

I've just cancelled my Match and PoF memberships - they didn't work for me at all, and I'm not even sure I'll renew Bumble which expired today. It's strange - I get a decent number of likes/matches on Tinder and Hinge, so some people find me appealing. However on Bumble I get virtually nothing at all - yet I'm using the same photos and similar profile text.

How strange cat that she would put on her profile that she didnt smoke when she did. That's just odd.

I've become less strict on what I'm looking for and trying to go with the flow more. Not even bothered if they're not a home owner or have small DC now. I'm not desperate but I'm thinking you just never know what you're looking for until it hits you. They do need to have a job or at least a good history of long employment though and must drive like myself.
I vape and I know that's not attractive to some people but if I clicked with someone and they hated it I'd do it more discreetly.so far no date seems that bothered.even Mr village the sporty guy.
Good luck with your date tomorrow

What does 'excite' you? Is it the photos,what they're written? I always wonder what men look for on the apps.

The thought of salsa dancing lessons brings me out in a cold sweat. Maybe the dating sites are not so bad after all ...

I have a long bank holiday weekend to myself and trying to arrange to meet friends for a wander. I'm relaxed but unenthused about the dating prospects so not pushing any agenda on to a couple of chats I have going, just seeing how they go with no pressure. Miss Mooch (that I dated) is very time poor with all the childcare and a big work schedule so that's gone the way of friends for now.

@TheCatWithTheHat. Thank you!

I woke up with yet another migraine, but managed to see it off by lunchtime. Mum seems OK (her birthday today) and I've now finished my proper job until 10th so I feel better now.

MrDecorator has now moved to WhatsApp. And booked a date for decorating. But no actual date. His problem, not mine.

MrNose didn't respond to my suggestion of where to meet tomorrow that I sent Monday so I've unmatched him.

MrNonDynamic I'm just ignoring, not that there's anything to ignore since he got all whiney when I told him I needed something more dynamic.

And new/old iron - chatting, he recognizes me from chatting before. I have zero recollection. Might try and meet him. He's amusing but seems a bit set in his ways.

MrNeck-kisser has stalked my FB profile and worked out that it's my birthday next week, which is annoying. He asked me what I'm doing on that date, obviously I have plans. But I've agreed to pub dinner the day before. He's been a bit irritating on FB, he's very odd.

The thought of salsa dancing lessons brings me out in a cold sweat.

Agreed, it sounds hideous.

Cat - just join some groups on Meet up in your area. Disregarding Covid, there's all sorts on there. Singles, dancing, public speaking, all sorts of exercise, cinema, restaurant clubs, theatre, pub quizzes, etc. Some still happening online. We have murder mystery ones online and escape rooms on my local meet up. Just do stuff and meet people.

Though I have to say, a therapist that tells you to try salsa dancing lessons sounds a bit.....basic!

@kerkyra Hmm - good question, and it's hard to put a finger on it. The photos play quite a big part if I'm honest - I need to feel some attraction to them. But after that, it's probably more of a case of what doesn't turn me off, rather than what excites me. I think I'm too cynical and jaded now to get excited about anyone before we've even matched. And I agree with you - you don't know what you're looking for until you find it so I try to be fairly open-minded.

In terms of the profile, it's really a combination of the basics like where they live, age, whether they have kids, plus some sort of indication of what they're like, and whether I think we'd have at least some things in common. Usually if I like the photos, I'll swipe right as long as there's nothing that puts me off in the profile - rather than there being something that specifically appeals to me.

I don't really have any strict rules (other than smoking, plus I couldn't date a vegan) - and I'd be less strict in some areas if they look like a good match in others. E.g., I don't have kids, and would prefer someone without - however if she had kids, but lived locally I wouldn't rule her out, whereas the logistics of someone with kids and living further away would be less appealing. Then it's really down to how we get on chatting.

Thanks - I'll take a look at those meet up groups.

The salsa suggestion came from a few things that I've been working through with her, and without going into too many details I need to build my self-confidence and be a little more outgoing - pushing myself out of my comfort zone. There's a fun-loving cat inside me, but something's stopping it from coming out most of the time. The thought of it is pretty scary too, but I need to push myself. Plus now she's mentioned it, I've seen a few profiles listing it. And a friend of mine used to do it when he was younger, and tells me it was a fantastic way to meet women.

OLD isn't really working for me, so I'm game for trying new things!

You certainly seem positive and upbeat cat and that is an attractive quality,even if you don't feel it and lack confidence in some things.
My best male friend,also on OLD hates the traditional date of sitting opposite a stranger and trying to make small talk.His new line is that he is going shopping to get a new shirt and does the date want to come along and help him choose one?! They do as well and has got a couple of girlfriends this way.

That's similar to my climbing plant meet,so hopefully that will work!

Must say I love the idea of dancing and would totally do that if I had childcare of an evening. Also a yoga class could be a good one for you cat?

@TheCatWithTheHat - I actually learnt to salsa in Puerto Rico (true story) so I could teach you 😊

5 of my 6 date zeros are done and only 1 I will see again.

In other news I got offered a very good job today!!!! I phoned Mr HT to tell him and he called me back and said he was chuffed for me and he did sound genuine but there was no let's go celebrate or anything 😞

So I bought myself a top, some flowers and scampi for tea

I sent Mr Paddleboard a thanks but no thanks message today after him showing more amber flags last night telling me that we would have to get me paddle boarding soon and that he was thinking of buying another. Gone with my gut and cut him loose.
Had a zombie get in touch to see when he can see me. He ghosted me so it's a no from me.
No dates arranged for the bank holiday weekend. A bit frustrating but I'm not going to meet someone just for the sake of it of on not interested in getting to know them better.

@TheCatWithTheHat

I had a date last night - I'd prepared in advance, and booked a table at a nice riverside pub half-way between the two of us. Which would have been lovely, if it wasn't freezing cold, with a bitterly cold wind blowing off the river. I think I'm just about done thawing out now.

However I was slightly miffed as about 15 minutes into the date she asked if I minded if she smoked. Now I really don't like smokers, and filter them out on the apps - however she'd said on her profile that she doesn't smoke. So that was a waste of time.

I've got another date tomorrow lined up with Miss Yoga, and a couple of other chats that may result in a date but no one really that excites me. I'm just not sure that the apps are the best way to meet people, but I'm struggling to think of where else it might happen. My therapist has suggested I go for salsa dancing lessons, so I might give that a go once things open up, but other than that I'm stumped!

I've just cancelled my Match and PoF memberships - they didn't work for me at all, and I'm not even sure I'll renew Bumble which expired today. It's strange - I get a decent number of likes/matches on Tinder and Hinge, so some people find me appealing. However on Bumble I get virtually nothing at all - yet I'm using the same photos and similar profile text.

Oh sorry about the date last night. How frustrating for you. Crossing fingers for you and your date with Miss Yoga