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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

986 replies

Heartbeats0708 · 26/04/2021 06:40

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
TheCatWithTheHat · 09/05/2021 17:04

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards that's really lovely to hear - I'm glad things are going so well Smile

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 09/05/2021 17:08

[quote TheCatWithTheHat]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards that's really lovely to hear - I'm glad things are going so well Smile[/quote]
@TheCatWithTheHat thank you 🙂 that's so sweet of you ❤️

Shayelle2009 · 09/05/2021 17:39

Congrats @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards... how many dates have you two had now, thats quite a few isn't it? 😍💘😍

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 09/05/2021 17:55

@Shayelle2009

Congrats *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*... how many dates have you two had now, thats quite a few isn't it? 😍💘😍
Thanks @Shayelle! yeah, we've had around four or five now 👍🏻😍🥰💘
countesskay · 09/05/2021 18:19

So I had my date, I think it went well... Well he didn't leave first!

Conversation seemed to flow well, felt a little awkward at the end. He was very talkative and lovely

We spoke about everything and anything, but in the conversation he did say he is polite and only has a few matches

I dunno I felt a bit weird by that, although course we all choose from whatever matches we get - you do wonder 'are you there because you liked me or we matched'

Anyway I messaged afterwards I said thanks for a nice date and offered to travel to him if he'd be interested in a second date.

I got a fairly average 'yeah we can look at things to do if we find a time to suit'

I wanted to be fair and ask him as he had asked me on a first date; feeling a bit 'meh' to be honest, I think men I've dates before were more enthusiastic

Anyway we'll see, I gave him my number and suggest we WhatsApp

countesskay · 09/05/2021 18:21

Aw lovely to hear @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards ♥️

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 09/05/2021 18:25

@countesskay

Aw lovely to hear *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* ♥️
@countesskay ❤️❤️❤️
HairyArsedMan · 09/05/2021 18:33

Apologies I should have been clearer, I don’t have a date today (it’s next week) but thank you for your concern Smile. I will give vague details about how it went in due course.

ItsNotLoveActually · 09/05/2021 19:18

@countesskay - agree, his reply sounds a bit vague and non-committal. Did you both mention busy lives etc which could have prompted that?
The usual advice is not to over think too much and wait and see. Keep chatting to others, as he may well be doing.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 09/05/2021 19:28

@countesskay

So I had my date, I think it went well... Well he didn't leave first!

Conversation seemed to flow well, felt a little awkward at the end. He was very talkative and lovely

We spoke about everything and anything, but in the conversation he did say he is polite and only has a few matches

I dunno I felt a bit weird by that, although course we all choose from whatever matches we get - you do wonder 'are you there because you liked me or we matched'

Anyway I messaged afterwards I said thanks for a nice date and offered to travel to him if he'd be interested in a second date.

I got a fairly average 'yeah we can look at things to do if we find a time to suit'

I wanted to be fair and ask him as he had asked me on a first date; feeling a bit 'meh' to be honest, I think men I've dates before were more enthusiastic

Anyway we'll see, I gave him my number and suggest we WhatsApp

Sounds very promising @countesskay! Fingers crossed for your🤞🏻❤️
countesskay · 09/05/2021 19:28

@ItsNotLoveActually
I get the feeling he's following dating advice a little. We did swap numbers that was nice.

Yes trying to not over think! 35 years and counting 😂

I feel more calm in this point in my life, because I'm not looking to date for the purpose of anything.
Pre therapy I was very much attached to the idea of the replacement husband, but thankfully I was able to move away from that.

I'd be happy with exclusive dating, no games but companionship and maybe love again one day.

Otherwise I'm settled with my job, kids and everyday life

VanGoghsDog · 09/05/2021 19:34

So, dating....

  1. eventually MrDecorator has asked me to 'meet up' tomorrow, but when pressed he doesn't know what, said he'll be 'here' about 6.30pm unless I go to him. Neither of which I mind but he'd best not be assuming I'll cook (I never cook for men until they have cooked for me). We'll see. At least he asked.
  2. My gardener was a bit testy with me because of MrNK asking him when he was next coming so I explained it's none of MrNK's business and I didn't ask him to ask. Gardener asked how I know MrNK, I avoided the question but he asked if he was my 'ex boyfriend', I said no, he thinks he is but he's not. Chat with gardener and.......he asks me if I'd like to meet him for a drink at the club one night Shock I mean, I wouldn't, but it's nice to be asked isn't it?

Two new chats on OLD - one guy keeps talking about massages (weird, about to be unmatched) and another just sleezy non-chat despite his profile saying 'where are all the intelligent witty women?' - I told him he needs to show that he deserves them!

Ten mile walk today and a friend popped by with her bf and we had a drink at my local. It's been a nice day.

SpringlikeBunk · 09/05/2021 19:39

That sounds nice @VanGoghsDog

I've been out doing "non-lockdown stuff" too just art museum, shopping, cafe...and it's definitely done my MH the world of good.

Fingers crossed for a smooth June escape from this situation

SpringlikeBunk · 09/05/2021 19:43

@countesskay

I agree with just taking a chilled out approach to it.

I like overanalysing stuff here Blush

but really my day-to-day life is fine and there's no rush to meet someone for me (I'm not after children and marriage and I'm past the whole "meeting new people to do things because of FOMO" stage).

So although it would be nice to have a steady date person with their own independent lives (and I think the dating process takes me out of myself a bit)

also I'm not really pushing/overfunctioning/overchasing.

ItsNotLoveActually · 09/05/2021 19:44

I understand you and wish I'd had that therapy! 54 this year and soon to divorce for the 3rd time! Always felt like I was an all or nothing kinda girl. Been separated 4 yrs now and have been dating. My last relationship ended recently and it taught me a lot of things. I don't need a guy. I can be happy on my own. The right person will and should enhance my life, not be my life. Having said that, I had a date today. Someone I already knew. We both know there's tons of potential. I'm going to stay grounded though.
You sound in a good place personally and that's a great place to be!

frankiefirstyear · 09/05/2021 20:09

@VanGoghsDog I forget how your gardener is linked to MrNK? Maybe this will answer my next question why a no go with the gardener?

Shayelle2009 · 09/05/2021 20:16

Glad to hear people have been having a good day! Mine was also lovely, trip to the coast and treated myself to a bubble gum pink mini skirt to wear for my 40th coming up 😆
Downside of the day.. seem to be loved-up couples everywhere I turn 🙄😥 which to be fair I never notice usually, but today it was just making me feel a bit... 🌊

Ho hum..

VanGoghsDog · 09/05/2021 20:49

[quote frankiefirstyear]@VanGoghsDog I forget how your gardener is linked to MrNK? Maybe this will answer my next question why a no go with the gardener?[/quote]
My gardener is his postman. So he's been lying in wait to accost him to ask him to mow my lawn!

No go with gardener because he's not my type. Looks like he needs a scrub with bleach, he's about 5'2" and I can barely understand what he says as he has a very strong Geordie accent!

VanGoghsDog · 09/05/2021 20:50

Gardener does sometimes deliver parcels to me too, so has seen me wrapped in just a towel!

frankiefirstyear · 09/05/2021 20:55

😂 fair enough

SpringlikeBunk · 09/05/2021 20:56

Lol that sounds like the start of a terrible mills and boon novel @VanGoghsDog

Shame gardener isn’t more attractive Grin

Bbub · 09/05/2021 21:40

Hey Guys, is it OK if I join? hope everyone is doing OK. I have a couple of irons, very early stages, but both are acting really keen and I just feel really suspicious!

What are you guys doing for dates while things are still outdoors only? Might have a date for going for a drink next Thursday but I don't really know how the pubs are lately and it's forecast for rain. First he invited me to his and offered to cook which would be absolutely amazing normally but we only matched about a day ago 😂

Eesha · 09/05/2021 21:41

Has anyone tried Elite Singles? I downloaded it then realised all the pics are blurred out unless you pay

countesskay · 09/05/2021 21:45

@Bbub
I'd still only meet in public personally I had a date today in the park. I've been to pubs and cafes it's all fairly normal bar rule of 6, many have umbrellas, heat lamps, blankets that kinda thing

SpringlikeBunk · 09/05/2021 21:53

@BBbub

I always meet in public first?

Seems to be enough options open right now - If you hit it off you can have a coffee and go back to his sooner

but I'd be suspicious of someone who insisted I just come straight to his before we've even met. It's for his as well as your safety - you could be a stalker or an axe murdered!