Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Oh really @SpringlikeBunk... it is sooo hard isn't it??

I know it’s bad and I sound horrible but I keep checking location on bumble.. it hasn't changed all day but I know he was working... so I’m really hoping its that he forgot his phone today rather than he's suddenly stopped wanting to chat/blown me out. He hasn’t unmatched me.. he’s been really great up til now it’s just weird today!! 🤯 urgh.

It seems like the negatives outweigh the positive. He’s done and said lots of things that you aren’t comfortable with, definitely in relation to anything more than friendship. Have you mentioned going on dates with others/ being on the apps ?

My last msg for vangoghsdog - I’m way too slow typing!

@Onesmallstep67

It seems like the negatives outweigh the positive. He’s done and said lots of things that you aren’t comfortable with, definitely in relation to anything more than friendship. Have you mentioned going on dates with others/ being on the apps ?

Indeed.

Well, I asked him on Tuesday at dinner how his dating was going and then felt bad about saying I was dating so I said "not really" which is true as I'd only met MrD once at that point and he's the only person I've met since him (not counting MrWG but that's not dating, god knows what that is!).

@Shayelle2009 - I don't trust the locations on the apps, also I think people can turn it off, can't they? Just have it show as where they live, not where they are? He's unlikely to have left his phone at home though.

You can turn it off @VanGoghsDog.. guess will just have to see what the next day or two brings.. I don't miss this turmoil when there is no one of interest on the scene! Life is just simple then 😂

He turned up. Said sorry for the late reply and that work was very busy and then they had office drinks. Asked me what time we are meeting tomorrow. I think I need to have a chat with him.

@DudeFromThatLondon I think I’ll mention it lightly in person but yes, same photos across the sites.

@namechanged9999

He turned up. Said sorry for the late reply and that work was very busy and then they had office drinks. Asked me what time we are meeting tomorrow. I think I need to have a chat with him.

@namechanged9999

@namechanged9999

Were you waiting for him to confirm meeting tomorrow or just chatting?

Letting work drinks go on and not sending a quick message to confirm a meeting would really piss me off.

Just a "how's your day? let's chat" message not so important

If someone was expecting me to be on my phone at a social event I'd think that was too much.

I'm never 100% sure how much contact is needed still working it out myself, but I think maybe that's a good boundary to stick to?

@SpringlikeBunk no we had confirmed we were meeting - it was the matter "how was your day" I sent at 3:20pm. He replied 6 hours later.

I think he sounds alright @namechanged9999? Though I guess different people are happy with different amounts of contact. I think he sounds nice, and into you? I think you should try and hold off feeling shirty that he didn’t reply to ‘how’s your day going’ - he wants to see you, it’s all good??

Still nothing from Mr Mac but I’m feeling better today probably because I actually got some sleep last night!
Today I’m like meh, if he’s gone then that’s his loss.
Going to hit the gym for a marathon sesh as the weather’s rubbish, then make a big old curry later!

How's sitting on your hands going @SpringlikeBunk? I let Mr Polo do all the initiating yesterday and he did get in touch a few times. Still not mentioned next meet but there's plenty of time for that. I feel less angsty about it and also did @VanGoghsDog trick of muting notifications so I wasn't constantly listening for the phone.
@namechanged9999 I think you'd feel better if you had a chat about it- I can easily see how 6hrs could pass without replying to someone but if that's not your normal, or how you're used to communicating with him, it's okay to ask about the change.
@Shayelle2009 your day sounds fabulous, I really want a curry now!

I've no idea if my date is on tomorrow or not...not heard from him in days. We arranged to meet tomorrow but haven't said where or when! Previously I would get in touch and ask if we are still on but I think it's best just to let them fade away now...if this is their 'best effort' it can only get worse 😄

Slightly annoying though that this will be the second iron to ask and plan a date so I sort childcare then they just never come back....

Rant over- I hope everyone else is having better luck than me.

@Heartbeats0708 making a curry has been one of my favorite lockdown pastimes! Its beats a takeaway a hundred times over.

Oh @bangheadhere40 I was wondering how it was going with your iron. It must be so infuriating organising childcare and they disappear. Selfish 😔 x hope he turns up!!

Thanks Shayelle 😊

You've inspired me to make a curry later too! Have you met Mr Mac yet? Sorry, I tried looking back but can't tell 😅

Hi @bangheadhere40... glad I inspired you! We may not have fun dates going on but by god we eat well... lol
No never met Mr Mac. He just seems totally my type on paper. But not heard anything since thursday lunch so IDK 🤷🏻‍♀️

lol - maybe it's easier to focus on recipes than men.

That's a pain..hope he gets back to you, why are they so flaky 😡

I think men are just quite different to women.. the way we behave and think..

Hoping he appears today, if not then I’ll have got the message haha!!

@Heartbeats0708

I’m not expecting anything today as there’s often a lag of a couple of days for us messaging.

The balls in his court. He’s generally been fairly reliable and I like that he didn’t “over promise” for the first meet (7am work start for him) so it feels more like it could build up a bit?

Our date felt good in terms of him being respectful of my schedule and time and not having a vibe of “expecting physicality”.

So I don’t have any reasons to feel edgy - I just genuinely want to see him sooner!

I mean he might “just not be into me” after meeting or have another connection but nowt I can do about that?

I think a week is kind of reasonable to have something scheduled in now, or make some contact?

vangoghs mr NK sounds really creepy. Can you not just tell him it’s a no and block?

eesha sorry about the job

I’m meeting Mr DrownedCoeliac tomorrow. I really hope it stops raining. What are people wearing on dates to sit in freezing and wet beer gardens???

vangoghs mr NK sounds really creepy. Can you not just tell him it’s a no and block?

I thought I had told him that. Any normal internet rando I would just block but he lives so close to me I kind of feel blocking might make him turn up at my house.

What are people wearing on dates to sit in freezing and wet beer gardens???

Bra, vest, heat tech long sleeved layer or long sleeve t shirt, jumper, wrap type scarf/shawl, padded warm waterproof jacket which zips right up to the chin with a fur collar, infinity chiffon scarf, bobble hat, fingerless wrist warmers so I can hold cutlery, gloves over the top when not eating. And have a spare sleeveless gilet in my bag just in case. And a fold out camping sit mat as sometimes they stupidly have metal chairs which are cold to sit on.
And leggings or long johns under your jeans.

And another wrap for over your legs.....

:)

@VanGoghsDog

My experience of this type is they know they’re going over your boundaries but they don’t care - and they know if they “continue to push” you’ll be too embarrassed or ashamed to speak out.

He’s being controlling - claiming he’s worried about you as a friend, when he’s essentially harassing and stalking you and violating your privacy.

You’re allowed to just “not contact or socialise with someone” without them going through your social media and harassing everyone you know?

Just because you’ve had some friendly contact in the past or agreed to meet up doesn’t mean you’re his “property” for life now!

Hi everyone,

Me and Mr Bookworm have arranged a video date for tomorrow afternoon 🙂

@VanGoghsDog- I really don't like the sound of Mr. MK at all. Going to all those lengths to find you on social media is just weird. And it's a bit uneasy that he's got your address as well. I think he needs to neck right off, frankly