Dating Thread 203- Love is in the air!

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Happy birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight

I love the term commitment without cohabitation. I’ve been with Mr R almost two years now and on the rare occasions I see friends (because of covid) they always ask if we’re going to move in together and it is very much seen that a relationship can’t progress unless you move in together. I would say the last year has proved the opposite in many cases. Me and Mr R found ways of connecting when apart, and likewise I think many cohabiting couples disconnected because they spent too long together.

I actually do want Mr R to move in but I’m not yet divorced and still living in the family house and I want us to live in a house for us. We won’t be sharing finances because I will have much more money and also we’ve both been in enough failed relationships to know it won’t necessarily last which is a shame. We tentatively make statements like ‘if we’re still together in a years time we could buy a hammock / barbecue for the garden / go on holiday to Xxx’ and I do feel a bit sad that we don’t have that optimism I had about relationships in my 20s.

Anyway enough of my rambling, I’m about to remove dc from gadgets to go for a walk and maybe some cake.

Happy birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight. Beautiful flowers from craving. Hope you have a lovely day. It's gorgeous weather here in the Midlands. Hope it's the same for you X

@Dancerinthemoonlight happy birthday! Hoping this year is great for you, you've come so far!

Hi All. Hopefully I can join in. I have followed the thread for a while and you have all made me aware of not getting too invested in the messaging. I had 2 date zeros this week. Mr Grey I liked but just got a generic thanks for meeting message so guessing that's not going to go any further. Mr Geek was good to chat to and has asked to meet up again but I just didn't feel it so I have said I don't think there was a connection. Back to the app again now

@Dancerinthemoonlight

Happy birthday

Zombie of Mr Army messaged saying a notification was on his phone that it's my birthday. Surprised he still had my number and a notification set up. A far nicer message than just hbd last year.
For those who are new or don't remember he ghosted me in lockdown after 3 dates before lockdown.
Not even tempted to see if he wants a drink or anything. Just said it is and thank you

Thank you all for your birthday wishes. My day has picked up. Not going to let not having an irons or other issues get me down.

Back home and feeling very very refreshed!

Just going to keep my irons light for now - see how the dating process does or doesn’t pan out?

It’s weird as I kind of feel like I “ought” to have maybe taken things further with MrSaw.

But that’s just bad emotional and dating habits - feeling I need to mirror a guy’s desires exactly or they’ll lose interest?

Then feel a bit washed out in a few weeks.

I might suggest to MrPM he gets a hotel in my city so he can stay the night and we can go out in the evening.

Just had another wonderful video chat with Mr. Bookworm. We spent a lovely hour just swapping stories about ourselves. It was lovely ❤️

We've discussed maybe going to Carluccios for an Italian meal (we both like Italian food, and I'm going there on Friday for a belated birthday meal,) but we're going to wait until everything opens up again so that'll be May and June time hopefully

@onwardseverstridingonwards that's really good that you have found someone you click with and that meeting in person is on the cards soon.

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@onwardseverstridingonwards that's really good that you have found someone you click with and that meeting in person is on the cards soon.[/quote]
@Dancerinthemoonlight

Happy birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight glad your day has picked up 😊

Happy birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight and what lovely flowers from @cravingthelook

Positive update @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Reading and catching with the thread then having a bath as got soaked here!

Just found MrPMs YouTube channel (he gave me details) and it’s mainly boyfriend material (technical work and science stuff) but also subscribed to Katie Melua.

That’s not weird or Pervy is it?

Unless Katie Melua has moved into k-pop I wouldn’t have thought so. Possibly the exact opposite.

@DudeFromThatLondon are you referencing my earlier prospective iron who had an obsession with k pop girl bands despite in his late 40s.....perfectly normal

Yes it’s just a followed thing I don’t think he’s commenting “Katie I love you I picked up a cup you drank from after your 2001 concert ” on each post (I hope lol )

As I’m getting older I’m getting a bit stricter on things like following nubile women on Instagram etc -

I used to be a bit “cool girl” but now I just don’t think anyone who does that would share the same social values as me, so it gives me the “ick”

@SpringlikeBunk mine would say exactly that kind of thing, admire how beautiful this anime type girl was on different posts, she must have looked 14. Very strange.

@Eesha

🤮🤮🤮

Sorry I couldn't help myself @Eesha - One of the oddest things I've heard. I take it you binned him off?

Met long distance iron who I'd been chatting to for a while for a country ramble. No real sparks, perhaps there would be with more dates but ... I don't think that's a good combination with distance. There just wouldnt' be time with respective DC etc..

@DudeFromThatLondon we have chit chatted on text and i said i couldn't see him in that way because of the k pop thing. He says im judging him because of the music he likes. However its way beyond liking them, it's almost fawning over each band member, physically crying over their last gigs, its an out and out obsession. I only know because i did my due diligence on social media. Very strange.

I certainly pick em.

@BelladiMamma

Happy birthday *@Dancerinthemoonlight and what lovely flowers from @cravingthelook*

Positive update @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Reading and catching with the thread then having a bath as got soaked here!

Thanks @Belladi. Hope you had a lovely relax today ❤️

Hi all, just checking in to see how you all are! Happy Birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight 🍰🍾🥳

I also had to Google Terrarium! You do seem to have a wide range of interests @TheCatWithTheHat. I’d totally go for that on a profile even if the interests didn’t exactly align with mine (I’m a known plant hazard for a start) as am so over people who like “going out and staying in” or who are so lazy they don’t even wrote a profile and say “just ask” (erm, no - you have nothing that has piqued my interest and obviously have the intellectual and emotional life of a spanner).

If I ever go back on the apps I should make a list of things I don’t like and keep it constantly updated 😂. I will probably swipe on about one in every 1000 people...

@SortingItOut I hear you on the house front. I always thought I could never live alone (I never have) and would rather join a cult for company than do so, but I’ve done a lot of work on myself this year and now I think I could. My teenage DD can be infuriatingly lazy around the house and when adult DS comes home from university he creates such chaos I could kill him, even though I love him to bits!

Nice to see people getting decent dates! Mr Bookworm sounds promising @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. How you get your Italian date sorted soon!

Things the same here. Had a lovely couple of weekends with Mr G but our problem still stands. He is so averse to confrontation he will do anything to avoid talking about his ex or why he doesn’t tell his kids about me, and I have actually caught him out in a lie about it (I should have been a solicitor, nothing gets past me ahaha) but we do have a lovely time together and he has basically spent the weekend cooking for me or taking me out for meals, he’s bought me a lovely bracelet, tells me he loves me all the time - but whether or not he does, he still doesn’t take control of his situation and I need to either accept we are treading water indefinitely or move on 🤷‍♀️

Then again I’m firmly in the “commitment without cohabitation” camp (great phrase @SortingItOut) so it’s not 100% a dealbreaker. Just annoying really. He keeps asking me to book a holiday with him but I have told him I won’t because how is he going to explain to his kids he is going for a fortnight in the sun with a woman who doesn’t exist?

Anyway my priority for this evening is Line of Duty! Is anyone else truly obsessed by it? I’m actually nervous about the finale!

Happy Birthday @Dancerinthemoonlight! I hope you've had a lovely day 🍾🥳

Glad you had another nice chat with Mr Bookwork @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - fingers crossed you get to meet soon.

Commitment without cohabitation is the perfect way of describing it. I met a couple on a trip a few years ago, and it was such a touching story. They both dated when they were young, but drifted apart, met other people, got married, had kids etc... then both found themselves widowed in their 60s. They then somehow met up again, and started dating - 40 years after they first met. He sold his house to move down to be with her, but instead of moving in together he bought a house just up the road - and would cycle over to hers every morning.

@UtterSocks I think I'll add that to my profile actually! Although if anyone now sees "likes making terrariums" on a guy's profile it will probably be me

And I'll be tuning in to Line of Duty too! It's been such a good season, and I don't want it to finish!

@Eesha

Yeh I’m with you there - I’m socially libertarian etc but it’s just too much?

I’m not overly competitive with Instagram and tiktok or k pop girls or really that jealous

but there’s just something a bit creepy and ick about the open following and fanboy stuff (plus the lack of social awareness in being so open about it!) .

Seeing images of women online and having “interactions” with them can be addictive whether it’s a band or Instagram or spirals to onlyfans and addicts aren’t date material