I want a dog and DH doesn't

[iwantadogdhdoesnt]

Here goes ..... I really, really want a dog. I'm an animal person and always have been, it's integral to who I am. DH is not. I would do 100% of care for said dog. When pressed he says maybe towards the end of the year we can get a dog but not now. On occasion he has admitted he's just not a dog person so I fear his just not now actually means never (he said he wanted to get engaged for 8 years before he actually asked me so he has form for delaying)

The back story - we have had a serious conversation about this twice now. I have ended up really upset and have said I don't think this is just about the dog. I think this is indicative of a power imbalance in our relationship. Whether he admits it or not, he earns all the money, I'm a SAHM and there has been a subtle shift over the years that he has the final say on a lot of things (always disguised as a discussion though).

We are in the perfect spot to get a dog, kids old enough to be sensible but also desperate for a dog, financially very secure, I'm at home all day and we have a great house/garden for a dog. This keeps coming up (as I keep looking at digs for sale) and I'm increasingly feeling a lot of resentment that his wants trump the rest of us. Thoughts please? (And before anyone says it I've had two interviews last week and I'm headed back to work part time ASAP)

[quote ChairmansReserve]@sunflowertulip I refer you to my previous post [/quote]

@ChairmansReserve I'm not sure why your opinion is fact and mine is wrong. I have been to plenty of homes with dogs that don't smell and plenty that do (I don't have dogs so not talking about my own!).

@ChairmansReserve

Maybe he doesn't want to live in a house that stinks of dog.

(Note to all dog owners: yes it does.

Yeah, no, it does.

I'm sure you think so. But, in fact, it does.)

Oh the usual crap from a dog hater.

NOT ALL HOUSES WITH DOGS SMELL. Is that clear enough for you?

Some breeds just do not smell despite dog haters insisting they do.

I have a breed that does not moult and does not smell even when wet.

No, I haven't just got used to the smell. My wonder MIL would love to be able to say that our house smells of dog but she admits it doesn't. When we had cats she told us (often) that our house smelt of them.

I can smell dogs in some of my friends' houses but in others I can't. Mainly the ones with the same breed that I have.

Keep telling yourself that

@category12

Keep telling yourself that

Is that comment meant for me? If so as I have said my MIL would definitely say if our house smelt of dog. She would love to be able to say that because she is a horrible person but she admits it does not.

Got it?

Sure.

Dogs are more of a bind than children. Children grow up and you can leave them for more than 4 hours.

Dogs are a massive lifestyle change, like having a toddler that stays a toddler for 12-18 years.

I love dogs. I walked a neighbour's dog daily in my last house, and I still miss him. But I do not want to own a dog. Because I would be a responsible dog owner, and that would stop me doing things I enjoy doing.

Even if you do all the 'looking after' it still creates huge restrictions on your DP's life. So it's not right to get one unless you both agree.

I take it that the posters who absolutely insist that dogs smell and the houses they live in smell have been to a house of EVERY breed of dog there is?

If not you really don't have a sensible argument

@lynsey91

I take it that the posters who absolutely insist that dogs smell and the houses they live in smell have been to a house of EVERY breed of dog there is?

If not you really don't have a sensible argument

It's empirical evidence over the many years of my life thus far. All I can say from my experience is that every house I have been into that has a dog smells of dog, doesn't matter what the breed. Far worse if they have carpets of course.

I don’t have a dog (I’m a cat person), but I like other people’s dogs, but they don’t smell or at least I don’t notice the smell. Probably because they’re good dog owners who keep up with bathing them.

However, my DH does notice a smell, as he’s allergic to them. So that suggests that some people are more sensitive to a dog’s smell than others.

Is it just me who doesn't think the smell is a downside?

I quite like the smell of dog....

Has he said specifically why he doesn’t want a dog? I’m the same as you, having a dog is integral to who I am. Did your husband know this about you before he proposed? My husband is not a “dog person” but he knew that was a deal breaker for me. Our pup is 4yrs old now & neither of us can imagine life being any better without her.

*@BigButtons** but you cannot have been to houses of a fraction of the breeds of dog that exist.

It is known that some breeds do not smell, some breeds smell slightly (mainly when wet) and some breeds smell much more.

As I have said and am now sick of saying, if my house smelt of my dogs my MIL would tell me. She would constantly be telling me. She told me when it smelt of cats.

She says it does not smell.

As I also said before, some of my friends' houses smell of dog but a lot certainly do not. I have a pretty good sense of smell

@lynsey91 of course that is true. There will be dogs that smell less. I have not come across them. I can only go by my own experiences and I haven’t been to a house with a dog that doesn’t smell of dog to a greater or lesser extent.

I have a bald dog who doesn't smell.
Sadly my old hairy cat does, so I'm no better off.

MIL used to have a dog and her house didn't smell although I have been in dog smelling households as well.

Slightly amused by the turn this has taken 😂 I'm also allergic to dogs (prepares to take cover) and I can generally smell dogs in peoples homes but I personally don't mind the smell 🤷🏻‍♀️ (but then I spend half my life smelling of horses and horse poo and dont mind that either)