Sexual assault or just got out of hand

[Fate32]

Partner and me have not been getting on for quite a few months, but still together (we have 3 children)

We still sleep in the same bed and both felt a bit frisky, he makes a move and I respond, nothing was said, but he starts getting very rough, mainly using his hands, couldn’t take much more (though I might faint) and he stops for a second and I ask him what he is doing, and I start to cry. Didn’t want to make a fuss as the children’s bedrooms are next to ours, he says he is sorry and sleeps downstairs and I go to the bathroom and I am covered in blood, it is all over the bed, my top etc, I go downstairs and tell him about the blood and he washes his hands.

I don’t know what to think, he has never done anything as bad as that before (been together over 20 years)

Do let the sexual assault referral people examine you, then they will have a record even if you take it no further.

Please go for that examination. You’ve made the first step by ringing. You breaking down on the phone is a sign of how traumatised you are. They’ll give you advice and support. You need to “break down” and get it out. Bottling it up, protecting him and normalising it is not good. Imagine if someone did this to the children in the future. Would you tell them to ignore it. I think you’re going to have to uproot your children and start again somewhere without him anyway. He’s not fit to live with. I know that probably sounds terrible right now, but you’ve got to start putting yourself first. He didn’t care what happened to you...

Do let the sexual assault referral people examine you, then they will have a record even if you take it no further.

Please do this

Fucking hell
I have no words.
I'm actually very upset at the thought of this happening to you.
You must feel like shit . I'm genuinely upset here for you

You poor woman.

You must be in such physical shock as much as pain.

These are NOT the actions of a good man.

He is a really bad person.

He sounds like the type of man that would be an opportunistic rapist.

I think he is very dangerous.

He knows well what he did was wrong.

He may be nervous that there could be repercussions.

Please get yourself checked out.

This is a very serious sexual assault.

You poor woman.

Given the extreme nature of your injuries and their location it possible for infection to occur and with that the remote but ever present possibility of septacemia which can be extremely serious extremely quickly. You really must seek medical advice. They will be extremely caring and sympathetic. As others have said if you do plan on reporting the assault evidence is essential...photos etc.
Non violent men just do not wake up one day and commit such awful assaults. It is extremely likely he has previous for violent behaviour either to you or others. There is a mountain of research and testimony to suggest he will do it again. He may promise never but the red mist will descend. You really do need to separate for.your safety and that of your children, no matter how awful the prospect may be. The alternative with him may well be far worse IMO....be safe and do please seek help. Normal men do not do what he has done to you.

Please, please go to A&E. You need to be looked at. Can anyone have the children while you go? Obviously, he should not be sleeping in the same room as you. Will he leave if you ask him to?

So sorry that happened to you op. Thinking of you 💐

Omg OP this sounds horrible!! I'm so sorry this has happened to you sending you all my love 💐

This is dreadful op, there sounds such resignation in your voice, is his general treatment of you becoming worse.?

I know you don't want to go to the police, are you afraid of the repercussions? What I would say is if you feel you are not strong enough at the moment to confront or shine a light onto his behaviour could you please be seen by someone medical.
Document this period, for future dealings with him if the relationship becomes worse.
The actual physical damage some men inflict on their wives goes untreated so many times due to fear of being uncovered. This could have repercussions on your health in years to come.

Please be seen, it is not your fault and you are so worth it.
Don't keep his dirty secrets.

Keep posting, we all support you.

@user113424742258631134

A normal person doesn't interpret a crying, bleeding woman who has never consented to that they're doing as "enjoying" anything. A normal person doesn't do that. Normal people don't want to do that.

A person who magically hasn't noticed the woman they assaulted was crying and covered in blood doesn't say sorry and then go downstairs to sleep - why would they apologise if they thought everything was fine?

There is no excuse for what he has done. Which is why he's trying to manipulate you about it in order to avoid consequences.

This. A normal person doesn’t do something to another person that causes bleeding and lacerations. I would be thinking of going to the police OP. This is a world away from acceptable behaviour .

Do you have a close friend that you could tell OP ? Someone kind who would go with you to get checked ?

Gosh you poor thing

This man is vile
Iv fled an abuser and what has happened to you is shocking to read
Sadly he will prob get worse

Can you get him out of the house
Can I give you one very important piece of advice - please listen to the wise people who have responded on this thread
The wise people of MN saved my life
I say it often

Please be careful
Thinking of you and sending good wishes your way c