Sexual assault or just got out of hand

[Fate32]

Partner and me have not been getting on for quite a few months, but still together (we have 3 children)

We still sleep in the same bed and both felt a bit frisky, he makes a move and I respond, nothing was said, but he starts getting very rough, mainly using his hands, couldn’t take much more (though I might faint) and he stops for a second and I ask him what he is doing, and I start to cry. Didn’t want to make a fuss as the children’s bedrooms are next to ours, he says he is sorry and sleeps downstairs and I go to the bathroom and I am covered in blood, it is all over the bed, my top etc, I go downstairs and tell him about the blood and he washes his hands.

I don’t know what to think, he has never done anything as bad as that before (been together over 20 years)

I wondered the same Kitty Kat.

Where was the blood from? Was he cutting you? or are you on your period?

Is this what is called ‘victim shaming’?

Yeah I thought maybe unexpected period..not saying he wasnt too rough but honestly if you are covered in blood it doesn't sound right..not meaning to be insensitive, I was raped once and I understand how terrifying sexual assault is. I'm just struggling to grasp what happened here.

Oh OP. No, this isn't okay. At all.

I think you know that but it also sounds like you need someone outside of the situation to talk it through because you're unsure of how to feel: you haven't been getting on well, you started engaging in a sex act where he was so violent you felt were going to faint and you were bleeding. That's not okay. Regardless of whether you were initially consenting to the sex act, he was excessively violent to the point of injury.

Please call someone you trust and get them to help you with the children while you go and get checked out at the hospital or minor injuries unit and then make a plan to get away from this man.

When I was assaulted it caused a small rip down below which resulted in a lot of blood. It can happen.

In my opinion, if he’s hurt you to the point of making you cry and bleed, there’s no way that you consented to that, it’s not accidental and it’s sexual assault.

I’d be asking him to leave. I feel sick just reading this. You poor woman.

OP. I’m going to be direct - was he fisting you?
Because this sounds frighteningly violent.
I wouldn’t want to be near him ever again

That's what I thought Blue.

Sounds like he was taking out his anger on you under the guise of sex.

Don't second-guess or talk yourself out of your own feelings. How you felt is how you felt.

How are you now? What do you want to do?

This is horrific. I wouldn't be able to look at him again. I think you should call Rape Crisis tbh.

I've just read your other threads. This is a man who swears at a newborn baby and who wants sex immediately after being told that your grandad had died. He sounds absolutely revolting.

This sounds horrific! Please please get some help in RL .WA will be around today .Maybe make an appointment with GP as well .

Wherever the blood came from, this whole situation sounds abusive. That’s an unacceptable level of violence (any level of violence/being rough is unacceptable when it’s not something you’ve discussed and are both happy with)
You say you felt faint and that the blood was on your top? I wonder if he had his hands on your throat and it may have caused a nose bleed?
He sounds dangerous and I think you should think about how you can leave him.

Do you think you need medical attention, Fate? It's unclear from your post where the blood is from. Unexpected blood from anywhere does need a trip to A&E.

I can't even imagine a situation where you would end up bleeding. That's so rough and I would consider it assault. I'm sorry OP

I hope you're okay OP. This is completely unacceptable, disgusting behaviour. Do you have any real life support? Someone to watch the kids whilst you go to GP/A&E? Is there any family you can stay with so as you don't have to be in the same house as this violent man? I'm so sorry this happened to you

Wait is this the same op as the partner who was screaming at their newborn baby??

Hope you are OK today op! I think you should go and get checked out by your gp ASAP. I had a similar experience and soon after found out there was a little cut inside that gave me an infection. Its important you do that even if your bleeding has stopped. Unsure whether anyone can say it's assault although imo it's so close to it. Only you know how you feel and we are all here for you. Please take care op.

I hope your ok OP 💐 x

Kitty - yes it is.

This sounds awful.

It feels like you need to get him out of the house, and get some support if you can.

Is there anyone who can come and stay with you?

I hope you are OK OP, this sounds like an awful experience

The first thing is you say nothing as bad - which means things have happened before.

There is rough and ther eis making you feel faint (choking?) and covered in blood which is a serious assault ow on earth can you feel safe?

Blood from your private parts or elsewhere. Covered in blood?
With his hands? Or were you cut?

Thanks for everyone’s replies, I am ok, still shocked. Blood was from vagina and anus and he was using his fingers/hand, I am very sore this morning (I think I have some tears) We have talked last night and he is shocked and sorry about what happened, he said he thought I was enjoying it (he thought blood was from me being turned on - no lights on and it was dark). He didn’t realise about the blood until I came downstairs and told him. I need to think about what I do next.