Sexual assault or just got out of hand

[Fate32]

Partner and me have not been getting on for quite a few months, but still together (we have 3 children)

We still sleep in the same bed and both felt a bit frisky, he makes a move and I respond, nothing was said, but he starts getting very rough, mainly using his hands, couldn’t take much more (though I might faint) and he stops for a second and I ask him what he is doing, and I start to cry. Didn’t want to make a fuss as the children’s bedrooms are next to ours, he says he is sorry and sleeps downstairs and I go to the bathroom and I am covered in blood, it is all over the bed, my top etc, I go downstairs and tell him about the blood and he washes his hands.

I don’t know what to think, he has never done anything as bad as that before (been together over 20 years)

Do you mean you came on your period, or he actually seriously violently lacerated your vagina?

Even rough sex wouldnt normally cause bleeding everywhere

The blood isn’t to do with my period, he was so rough that basically he has lacerated me (bleeding has stopped) no hands around my throat, I felt faint due to the pain/shock of what he was doing.

OP I am very shocked by this. It must have been extremely rough to have made you bleed like that. It's gross and clearly abusive. I don't think you can trust this man - he has crossed a line and what he did has nothing to do with sex. It's violence, anger, abuse. I do think you need to make plans to get out of this relationship - and get some help from someone close you can trust to support you.

I am so sorry OP. This is not how your life should be. Big hugs.

Wait is this the same op as the partner who was screaming at their newborn baby??

Not the thread from yesterday, 2019

@Fate32 Sending you hugs and much love
This is not ok

Don't have sex with him again

Bloody hell OP I hope you are ok this is really shocking.
It looks to me like he has been watching nasty porn and for whatever reason thought it would be ok to reenact it.
I'm not sure I could get over this, I would not be able to trust him again.
I divorced my husband for less than this.

He thought the blood was because you were turned on?? No OP he us a liar. You need to get him as far away from you and your child/children as possible. He is an abuser and I imagine this is not the first time he has sexually assaulted you, or been violent. He knew fine what he was doing.

God I'm so sorry OP this sounds horrific. What he did was violent and abusive. I can't even imagine what was going on in his head to act so horrifically towards you.

He has hurt you. You need to go and get yourself checked out. You need to also explain to him what he has done to you. He is disgusting!

Please, be rid of this man. This is shocking and awful and abusive. He physically harmed you to the point where you almost passed out with pain, and you bled. What else is he capable of?

OP this is absolutely horiffic, please get away from this man if you can.

It's not so unusual that the Op bled from what he was doing to her. But, if it was rough enough to cause it then it's a problem.

That's just not acceptable, OP. He's saying he thought you were wet because you were enjoying it, rather than because he'd cut you.

He did what he wanted to do without noticing that you weren't enjoying it, that in fact he was injuring you.

Can you imagine handling him so roughly he bled? That you missed all signs he was in pain, until he burst into tears? Just suppose you had, what would have happened next? Would you have left and slept elsewhere, or would you have given him a hug, apologised, made him a cuppa, been shocked beyond belief at the blood, taken you to A&E, mopped up, made amends....

He did none of that. He left you crying in bed after the severity of his assault, even after he knew you were bleeding.

@Fate32

Thanks for everyone’s replies, I am ok, still shocked. Blood was from vagina and anus and he was using his fingers/hand, I am very sore this morning (I think I have some tears) We have talked last night and he is shocked and sorry about what happened, he said he thought I was enjoying it (he thought blood was from me being turned on - no lights on and it was dark). He didn’t realise about the blood until I came downstairs and told him. I need to think about what I do next.

Bull shit

Please leave this man immediately and phone the police

Get yourself checked as well for your injuries

Next time could be worse

He’s had time to come up with some shit to trot out
He’s sexually assaulted you. End of.

If it was me? Game over
Police and medical examination time

You need to go and be seen by a nurse. I've just read your new post. You may need antibiotics is their anyone who can look after dcs while you get yourself checked? Sounds like you was cut by his nail in several places. Nails have a lot of bacteria and their is a big chance of infection. I'm so sorry op he is so inconsiderate. Can you get him removed by any chance? You don't need to face him anymore.

It sounds like he was fisting you to cause such damage.

he thought blood was from me being turned on

Utter bollocks. Quantity for one, texture for another.

What the fuck? He hurts you to the point where you’re crying and bleeding and he just goes downstairs and “doesn’t notice” the blood on his hands?
I call bullshit.
You need to get away from this guy, he has shown himself to be unsafe.
Second that you should be seen by a medical professional. You could get an infection.
I would encourage you to call Women’s aid or a sexual assault line for more advice.
Hope you manage to get far away from him, OP.

OP this is terrible, please seek professional help.

Also he must have known it was blood, I don't buy that at all. it would have been all over his hands and he would have noticed it when he went downstairs in the light.

Please do not believe anything this man is saying to you, listen to your instincts you know what you need to do.

So sorry OP, what you went though sounds horrific. I rarely comment on posts and I know it's easy for others to say but you seriously need to leave. My other thought was you could have a polyps on your cervix. I've had a couple in the past and they bleed so much when knocked. Look after yourself

You CANNOT accidentally cause that much damage - he knew what he as doing or he was so angry at you that he lost control - either way it is serious.

I suspect given what you have said that there has been behaviour around sex before but this is definitely assault and is serious

The posters on this thread that have indicated this incident was in any way just something that got out of hand or that they need safe words or whatever should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

Op I hope you are ok. You know this incident wasn't normal or just something that got out of hand. The fact that he made you bleed and got on the sofa after says it all. He knows it too.
You aren't married to this cunt so get rid of him today. He is a vile abusive waste of space. x

Assault.

You can access a sexual assault referral centre for medical care and support without having to report to police unless you want to.

he has never done anything as bad as that before

But he has done bad things to you before... Which leads to you doubting how horrific this assault was.

Please get help and get him out of your lives for your own sake and the sake of your children.

If you go see a gp or sexual assault centre today you can check up on how you are as well as get your injuries on record. It sounds like serious sexual assault.

A normal person doesn't interpret a crying, bleeding woman who has never consented to that they're doing as "enjoying" anything. A normal person doesn't do that. Normal people don't want to do that.

A person who magically hasn't noticed the woman they assaulted was crying and covered in blood doesn't say sorry and then go downstairs to sleep - why would they apologise if they thought everything was fine?

There is no excuse for what he has done. Which is why he's trying to manipulate you about it in order to avoid consequences.