worst ways to find out your partner has cheated

[Tnytears]

So a bit of light hearted fun for a Friday. What was the worst way you found out a partner had cheated on you?
I always had a gut feeling my partner was cheating I left him when my daughter was 3 - he met someone else - they had a daughter and she also left him - I became friends with his ex and asked how when they met etc thinking she was post me - she said she meet him in 2005 - I was like "oh yes that was the year my daughter was born" -

@Mylittleponysuperfan your story sent a chill down my spine.

@ProfessionalWeirdo I'm guessing it was blood . Bork

Had suspected him of cheating for a long time but couldn't prove it and he vehemently denied it. One morning he was tagged in photos kissing another girl. I was at work and he was having a lie in at home so I could have a good old look and screenshot before he untagged.

I was at work and calmly phoned him and said I would give him one last chance to tell me the truth, given that I knew. He denied it. I then said I've seen a photo so please just tell the truth. He said "well I haven't even seen these photos so let me phone you back when I know"!!!!! 😂😂 it was awful but I remember feeling so peaceful after. The gaslighting had stopped.

Turned out he got her pregnant that night too - came begging about 3 months later having "ruined his life" (we were 20 and they never began a relationship as he totally freaked). So stupid and sad.

Some of these are heartbraking

@Mummapenguin20 it’s amazing how someone who claimed to love you can be so awful. But in a funny way it helped. When it happened to me it made it easier to let go of the previous 11 years as the man I thought I knew and loved could never have done that to me- therefore that man didn’t exist, it wasn’t him. He wasn’t real. My exH was a deeply damaged man who was fake and still is. His wife is lovely but she is in denial and was lied to right from the start of their relationship too so I know he hasn’t changed.

Sat next to him in the car and he asked me to text his mum to let her know we were on our way. I borrowed his phone, opened up the messages and up came multiple photos of his penis, sent to a girl at work. He was the team manager. Captioned "how about you come sit on this?" "or this?" etc. He had taken them in the toilets at work while she sat at her desk feet away, and text them to her.

I did not believe his "its banter, we were joking around" line, but I stayed as we lived together 500 miles away from my family. He promised he wouldnt have anything to do with her again or text her. He told me he had moved her to a different team and he rarely saw her. All fine for 9ish months, until photos of the Christmas party were put on facebook and him tagged in them. Sitting next to her and dancing with her. I left and moved home. I couldnt have afforded a house alone in that area and regret moving home every day. I would move back to that area in a heartbeat.

15 years on he is married (new girl who definitely came after me) with 3 children and cheats every chance he gets according to mutual friends and a very public rant from his wife on FB a few years ago.

First time: mutual friends of ours came to stay. I didn't feel great so went to bed early. Friend's wife feel asleep on our sofa, woke up to find her husband and my wife making out in our hallway. When I got up in morning, I couldn't figure out why our friends left in middle of night.
Second time: my wife's best friend's mother was poorly is hospital - "do you mind if I go and see her, to make sure she"s OK?" "Yes, fine". When I texted her late that evening "are you OK? Are you coming back or staying over?", she rang me by mistake. I heard her talking to a bloke, then one suggested they go to bed, then I heard them making out. The texts to her and her boyfriend were easy ones to write!
We're divorced now.
The serious side of my experience and others', is the untrusting disposition the betrayed person is left with. I am finding hard to ignore or forget, which will affect me when I decide I'm ready for another relationship.
My dark sense of humour meant the experience didn't sink me!

Left his secret email account logged in on my laptop

Kerbing our car so needed a new tyre. Mechanic said let's look at your spare, instead of a spare was a lovely set of clothes. He had been going to work in uniform on night shift then changing having a great time with ow, before changing back and stashing his clothes. Went in for months.

While I was living with someone, he invited our boss for tea. She barely acknowledged me, despite me cooking her tea.
We split up a while later and suddenly they got together,
Just after the time they got married, I found something of his in the house we shared. I asked him to collect it. I had sex with him, just so I knew he could never say he was faithful to her. I did the same thing again when she was pregnant. I had a very lucky escape.

One of my friends commented on a FB post ex had written. Friend then received a message from one of ex H’s work colleagues asking how she knew him. My friend replied that she knew him well and had been friends with his wife for many years. The colleague then asked my friend if she meant his ex wife, friend was confused by this and told his colleague that we were still married and that she’d visited us a few days before. The colleague replied ‘That’s odd because he has told people in work that he had separated and he has been seeing someone from work for nearly 2 years!’ 😳 He still tried to deny it. 🙄 As others have said I was grateful for the confirmation that I wasn’t going mad.

He was clearly (by this time, I obviously didn't realise to start with) still obsessed with his ex and was behaving particularly weirdly so I was already suspicious. I'd been at his house and about an hour after I left I rang him as I needed to ask him something and the line was engaged (this was in pre-mobile times, I'm very old ) so I tried again a while later but it was still engaged. Something just clicked in my head and I looked up his ex's number (in the phone book, told you I was old) and rang it, lo and behold it too was constantly engaged! They definitely hadn't remained friends (she dumped him and he was very vocal about how much he 'hated' her) so there was only one conclusion, I was at his door half an hour later with everything he'd left at my house and to collect my own stuff. He was a balding (his worst fear), single, alcoholic the last time I heard of him and she married a professional wrestler so maybe karma is a thing after all

Suspiciously close friendship with a work colleague. Long hours, business trips away. Finally he admitted to an 'emotional affair', then maybe kissing one night when drunk at a work do but he told me he regretted it, she meant nothing, it was a silly mistake. Of course they never slept together. He would never do such a thing because it's me he loves etc etc

Well I guess she must have been the Virgin Bloody Mary because she somehow managed to get pregnant despite them never apparently shagging.....

We were trying for a child at the time so he was having unprotected sex with both of us. Having to get an STI check because he quite clearly didn't even bother to use a condom was a special highlight.

When he had to tell me (because she declined his generous offer to pay for an abortion) he didn't even try to apologise or fight it. He just picked up his stuff and left. I was furious but there was just nothing either of us could say that would sum up how I felt or change anything so I said nothing. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of thinking I cared. She's welcome to him. He's tried to come crawling back a few times. He 'feels so bad about what happened' 'can we still be friends' I don't reply and just block him. He made his bed and now he can lie in it.

Just after the time they got married, I found something of his in the house we shared. I asked him to collect it. I had sex with him, just so I knew he could never say he was faithful to her. I did the same thing again when she was pregnant.

Unfortunately though he will just take that as evidence (in his mind) that you still want him and that he could shag you at the drop of a hat if he wanted to. Because he's already obviously an entitled prick, so that will just have fed his ego. Grim doing it while she was pregnant especially. I get the anger and motivation to settle the balance sheet to an extent but that was the best way for him to still walk away feeling like he's irresistible even to people he's fucked over. Hopefully he's well out of your life now, he sounds so awful.

When the police told me that they had had to inform the OW of my husbands death as well as me.

It is almost laughable really. Our son was 6 months old, we had a row and he moved out for a week. During that week he went on holiday with some old friends, one of which was an old flame. This "holiday" was booked ages ago so he clearly had this liaison planned out in advance. He shagged the old flame and when he returned, moved out permanently and was shacked up with her a month later. She immediately played step mum to our son and they married after 6 months together. Then came their son. He was goneso before her son turned one. Cheated on her with her best friend and knocked her up too. Then disappeared travelling for 4 years when that kid was 2 weeks old. We sure can pick them. I feel sorry for all the ladies that encountered him after me.

Gifts arriving at the houss for birthday! I ended up giving them away to a charity

My daughter was under 2months old he went out with one of his friends clubbing (I HATE this friend from the 1st moment I met him)
Wouldnt pick up his phone finally 3am he stumbled in blind drunk passes out. In the morning I'm picking up his clothes I find a condom wrapper in his pocket. I looked in his phone he tells his friend hurry up his about to fuck someone.

He denied everything a "friend" put the wrapper in his pocket and guy's say this to each other. I'm not that stupid to believe you wanker.

@PrincessesRUs
@ProfessionalWeirdo

Yes I was thinking the same 🙈

Exh used to work shifts. 4 days of day shift, then 4 nights of night shift then 4 days off. One night he was supposed to be working, I’d realised he’d left his lunch in the fridge. Thinking it’ll be a nice surprise, I decided to drive it over to him as I knew he’d get hungry around 3am when nothing would be open for food. Get to his work and his colleague (lovely guy who came to our wedding) looks very confused and awkward when he tells me exh hasn’t been working the night shift for almost 6 months. He’d moved to days only. Turns out he’d been seeing another women, who had no idea he was married, and then going to work days at the times I thought he was home asleep. Looking back, it was just pure luck he wasn’t caught out sooner. I mean, I knew something was up but I was young and 6 weeks pregnant at the time so I ignored some fairly obvious signs. Worst thing is, I miscarried a few weeks later and he used my grief to convince me to get back together. He then cheated again a year later which I only found out about because he gave me an std. I’m now happily married to my lovely dh with 3 dc and he’s a wonderful man. He went on to marry a lovely lady (who deserved so much better than him) and have 2 dc but cheated on her and she has now left him.

He accused me of having an affair with his friend. His friend would spend a week working in our area every six weeks or so, and had always popped over during breaks for a coffee.

My ex was a driver, and would sometimes be home and sometimes not when his friend came over. Often he would return while his friend was sitting with his coffee. Bear in mind that I had two preschool children at home too.

My ex got it into his head that we were having an affair. We weren't. I had no interest in his friend, and I suspect that was mutual.

While he was trying to persuade me to confess, he told me that it was okay if we were, because obviously I knew that he had slept with (person that he was friends with). I didn't know.

Twat.

After we split, he phoned me desperate for a lift home. Which I did as it was pretty much on my way to my house. During that drive, he told me that we would always be connected shudder and proceeded to tell me about how he had the chance to sleep with someone else but had turned it down. I think I was supposed to be impressed/happy/fall into his arms.

Like I care. Sleep with whoever you want, means nothing to me.

My best friend who I had known since I was 10 told me.

XP had basically ostracized us as friends (she had got together with his best friend at the same time we got together). As we grew apart, XP used the opportunity to bring his new squeezes (usually barmaids) out with them while I was at home, either making dinner or studying (something he didn't approve of).

Thankfully after a few months she decided enough was enough, sat me down and told me everything.

(Her 'D'P was no better, it turned out. Thankfully we are still best of friends with wonderful DH's and lovely families. They are both divorced with no kids, and I am not interested in knowing anything more about them)

@spicysechuan wow what a pair of utter pricks!!!

I also dated a complete control freak.

He was so terrified of me cheating and I never did. He was always so paranoid and checking my phone etc but again he never found anything as I literally had to cut off all my male friends and those who knew me in my late teens KNEW that if a guy approached me when I was on a rare night out with the girls (I was forbidden for going out) then I'd have this whole demeanour around me which basically reeked of "back off".

Anyway... I got him a job at my work (god knows but when you're in an abusive relationship you act out of character) and one day I came up the escalators and he was flirting with the receptionist. I ignored it but I saw it more and more, even adding her on Facebook etc.

One night he told me he was going out with his training mates for an end of training meal and a couple of non alcoholic drinks for him as he had the car.
He called me at 1am in a panic cause he'd fallen asleep at the wheel and smashed into the central reservation of the motorway. I asked where he was and he hesitantly told me the motorway and I KNEW he wasn't out with his mates as it was a completely different town to where he said he would be. My gut told me he was with the receptionist. Was I right? Yep! Found out cause one of my mates (who at the time as 20yr olds and kept an eye on Facebook pages) saw a picture of them lying on her bed and she was in his arms. They were fully clothed but the caption was "finally". He also had very pink lips where her pink lipstick had transferred.

Just funny how he was so controlling of me and paranoid that I'd cheat when it was him!

I'm well shot of him!

@ReginaaPhalange

I also dated a complete control freak.

He was so terrified of me cheating and I never did. He was always so paranoid and checking my phone etc but again he never found anything as I literally had to cut off all my male friends and those who knew me in my late teens KNEW that if a guy approached me when I was on a rare night out with the girls (I was forbidden for going out) then I'd have this whole demeanour around me which basically reeked of "back off".

Anyway... I got him a job at my work (god knows but when you're in an abusive relationship you act out of character) and one day I came up the escalators and he was flirting with the receptionist. I ignored it but I saw it more and more, even adding her on Facebook etc.

One night he told me he was going out with his training mates for an end of training meal and a couple of non alcoholic drinks for him as he had the car.
He called me at 1am in a panic cause he'd fallen asleep at the wheel and smashed into the central reservation of the motorway. I asked where he was and he hesitantly told me the motorway and I KNEW he wasn't out with his mates as it was a completely different town to where he said he would be. My gut told me he was with the receptionist. Was I right? Yep! Found out cause one of my mates (who at the time as 20yr olds and kept an eye on Facebook pages) saw a picture of them lying on her bed and she was in his arms. They were fully clothed but the caption was "finally". He also had very pink lips where her pink lipstick had transferred.

Just funny how he was so controlling of me and paranoid that I'd cheat when it was him!

I'm well shot of him!

It's often the way, people who behave in a paranoid manner have something to hide.

Yes, you are much better off without him!