worst ways to find out your partner has cheated

[Tnytears]

So a bit of light hearted fun for a Friday. What was the worst way you found out a partner had cheated on you?
I always had a gut feeling my partner was cheating I left him when my daughter was 3 - he met someone else - they had a daughter and she also left him - I became friends with his ex and asked how when they met etc thinking she was post me - she said she meet him in 2005 - I was like "oh yes that was the year my daughter was born" -

Mentionitus, and actually admitted he had feelings and asked for my advice. I gave it, to go no contact if he cared about his marriage / family. He couldn't. I checked his phone and found very explicit messages and some about how funny it was that she would teach him how to lie to me (mother of his 2 small kids) so they could carry on fucking in the next room to her small child. Others I read subsequently were the most vomit inducing teenage "soul mate" crap about how they would get through this together and how it was all worth it. Maybe they can explain that to my kids one day who still miss their dad.

God these are awful. Mine was just a simple found it on his phone . Back in the early days of mobiles before being able to lock them etc. He'd been acting funny and being very guarded around his phone when previously he'd always asked me to read him a text if I was closer to it .

Exdh's brother announced on Xmas day at the in-laws that he was leaving his wife for an old girlfriend. Sister in law was there with their teenage children. She later tried to kill herself.

He went to housesit for a mutual friend for a few days, she texted me to say she found used condoms in her bed when she got back.

Grim.

Received a dodgy message and photo from him. Closely followed by ‘shit I sent it to Pot. Gonna delete your number’.
Don’t think he ever realised he sent it to me by mistake.

I’m ashamed at how long it took me to confront him and even more about how long to call it a day.

Mine went for a drink with his brother Christmas night, didn't return until Boxing Day afternoon. With his new leather jacket that she had bought him. His mum and brothers all knew too. That was not a good xmas or new year.

I was wandering the upstairs of our house at stupid o'clock in the morning, with a screaming baby who never slept, battling crippling PND and life changing birth injury to find his laptop open and on with the booking details of his "work trip" to a very fancy hotel with 4 poster bed, dinner reservations for 2 and a bottle of champagne.

Turns out it was my best friend.

Bastard's, the pair of them.

We worked together. ExH disappeared for over an hour at the work party, told a pack of lies about where he had been. He was very cagey about showing me the pictures he took at the party ( he had bought a new camera especially for it). One day a few weeks later I was in work late and used the opportunity to check his desk drawer for the pictures. Two rolls developed, 80% of the pictures were of just one “friend”. Thinking back to the party, she had also been missing from their table but hadn’t put 2 and 2 together. She had been on his stag do, she was at our wedding (6 months previously). She stayed at our house the weekend after we split up.

We split up a couple of weeks later. They pretended they were just friends (driving to work together but she would hide in the loos for a couple of minutes so it didn’t look like they were walking in together, if only they realised that everyone could see them parking up) until word got out that I had started seeing someone.

I later heard that he was heavily flirting with someone else when she was off on maternity. She’s welcome to him!

It’s another lifetime ago now but my exDH told me on our honeymoon that he’d slept with a work colleague. I was 21, young & vulnerable. He was cruel & manipulative. Believe it or not we were married for 7 years, together for 11. He went on to cheat multiple times. It took me a long time to accept the depth of his abuse & to call it as it actually was.

One of the kids said dh had forgotten his phone (years ago so messages appeared on screen) and said “what does oxo mean mummy?” Lots of messages which explained the very late nights.

Ex away on business trip and due home on Valentine's Day, he had asked me to book a restaurant but he had taken out joint laptop (for which we had separate log ins). So I fired up his desktop computer and as it was booting up I could see his inbox updating - including a reply from a dominatrix apologising that she could not keep their appointment. Underneath was his original email detailing the services he was after... I thought I was quite experienced but even I had to Google one of them 😳

Walked in on them in my bed. Now, I was aware that things weren't right, but did not realize that it had reached (or was caused by) "the other woman" point. Neither of them even realized that I was there for a couple of minutes. YES, I stood there and watched. Even leaned up against the wall. Just before he was able to "get there," and I knew the signs very well, indeed, I started giving them a slow clap. Talk about coitus interruptous! I gave them both 5 minutes to be out of the house.

God help me, I was laughing like a hyena at the looks on their faces, and I'm giggling still, thinking about it!

He gave me his phone to swap his sim card, he was changing network providers. As soon as i took his phone a message popped up from her saying "Had such a nice morning babe, I could have spent all day with you xxx" He had told me he was at an AA meeting

Many years ago my friend was away for the weekend but the girl she was with wasn't well so they came home Sunday evening rather than Monday morning

My mate got hone, went up stairs and there was her OH with his head buried between the legs of the barmaid from their local. My mate lost it and chased them both out of the house almost naked. She then proceeded to cut the crotch out of every pair of his trousers and pants and shred his shirts

Friend had known for a few weeks that my exH was cheating (18 month + affair). She asked if I was free one Saturday and I said I had my 6 mo baby and was due to look after my 90 yo granny with dementia that afternoon but had 1/2hr over lunch. She suggested we meet somewhere local and public (people we both knew wandering about). So she told me then. I was actually OK as I had known something was up for a long while and felt a sense of relief that I knew the reason. But it still baffles me that she thought that was a good time! I spent the rest of the afternoon juggling baby and granny, trying to let neither see me cry and also trying to work out wtf I was going to do!!

To be fair, I think friend kind of liked the drama/crisis of it all. When she didn't really get that from me she became best mates with the OW! And then tried to get me to go on holiday with them all a couple of years later - ugh, no!

@Isadora2007

I found out online when he had asked for holiday advice for him and his girlfriend- this was a “once in a lifetime” man trip he was telling me he was going on to sort his head out and then we’d make a go of our marriage. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I sent him a text whilst he was on said holiday- “say hi to girlfriend-name from me. Get yourself a good lawyer you c*.”

Brilliant 😂

@Parkerwhereareyou

Finding sickening messages on our open message accounts wasn’t good. Finding a receipt that showed he’d lied about where he’d been. Condoms in the car. Etc. I guess that’s all standard.

Finding out why he suddenly seemed to want anal sex with me every day (even though I didn’t). (He was compartmentalising.) ...

Having him say my boobs were way the best ones. (Out of what competition? I thought. Still so dense I didn’t get it.)

Ah probably getting the most awful wracking cough that gave me bruised ribs. Then her DH commenting (as I tried to have a business meeting with him, in between coughing fits) that oh that’s weird - you seem to have just the same cough she picked up when we were on holiday abroad recently.

There is zero excuse for such betrayal of innocence and trust. Sorry, @Tnytears😅 it doesn’t feel such a light topic for me. I reckon I’ll need a bit more time and the most perfect man before I can laugh about it!

Exactly what my thoughts were when I read the descriptor. I don't think there is any "light-hearted" way of putting heartbreak, emotional upheaval and potentially ruining someone's life.

It's like OP is saying let's all have a giggle at how people got f*ed over.

Stains on the bedsheets - he tried to say it was spilt Coca Cola !!!!!!

Mine set up an Instagram account linked to his phone number and a second Fb linked to it too so when I bought a new phone and synced all my contacts I came across both.

His Instagram was only following one woman ‘Beth’ yet his FB account had a woman named ‘Alice’ as his wife who still shared his surname.

I was Only able to contact the wife ‘Alice’ (couldn’t message the locked down Instagram account) she replied saying they were separated and had been for a few years. I double checked with her a few events that I felt was off. She confirmed a few things and was oblivious to others. Ok they were separated, It was not terrible but still bad he lied she didn’t exist. I was furious and gave him both barrels.

My back was still up that something wasn’t right with the Instagram though so I stalked the account for a good couple of months waiting for it to be unlocked as eventually people do for various reasons.

Eventually it was in December but there was nothing much on there then NYE the other woman posted a picture of her DC and my EX about how happy she was to find the perfect man and how her family was complete. (I was obsessed something was wrong)

I saw it about 2am after ex had let me down again to spend a holiday with me.

I was a bitch but I screen shotted every single message the ex and I had sent to each other that night and over Xmas and dumped them into her inbox and replied ‘nicely’ under the image of my Ex she shared ‘what a lovely picture of my partner, such a shame he didn’t spend it with me, he claimed he was too broke. Nice to see he splurged his money on someone’

I was woken at 8am to a phone call from my ex calling me all the things he could think of and how I was a crazy woman and fabricated those message. Tried to make out I was a psycho.

So as I was getting his abuse down the phone I sent the other woman more images of me and the EX. Pictures of us Outside a cinema on a specific movie release so it had a date so to speak. Other messages and photographs that showed we were indeed in a 2+ yr long relationship. Told her about a specific phone call we had Boxing Day and that he was going to the shop. And exactly what time it was and screen shot my call log to him.

Thankfully she believed me. Threw him out in the street there and then.

The best bit though. My Xmas gift to him got stuck in the Xmas mail and arrived a few days later. Think Uber romantic homemade sort of thing.

It broke him what I’d sent, he called me in tears and I’ve never felt so satisfied to have made someone see exactly what they’d lost whilst being able to tell them to get lost.

So yeah, NYE seeing a picture of him on Instagram with another woman planning his new life.

I knew it was over when I found out the wife but I just couldn’t let it go something was wrong and never let him get away with what he did.

Was in the pub with my friends and was looking at pictures on my phone of a family day out we'd had the day before, when my friend who had never met exdp through me and who I hadn't known for long, piped up and said " oh I didn't know he was your ex him and his gf are my next door neighbour's"

My face dropped, we were still living together and still in a relationship.
I knew he was upto something as he would always dissapear, but I later found out from the OW that he used to stay there most days stay and would tell her that the reason I always used to call him was that I was jealous he'd moved on and was living a happy life with her and that when he came to my house to visit our dc, I would lock him in so he had to stay there incase I harmed myself, as I was still in love with him

She lapped up all his lies and even when I told her and showed her proof that we were still together, she didn't believe a word and stayed with him. Karma came and kicked them both in the arse though, as he done the same thing to her but that OW got pregnant and now he has to deal with an insecure stalking nutjob for the rest of his miserable life, whilst begging me to get back with him as he regrets what he done and I was the love of his life.

I thought about sharing my story in here - then thought this is the kind of thing that the Daily Mail will jump on, so I might leave it for now.

He accidentally sent the OW (a prostitute) a message to our family Facebook, group chat instead of to her.
End of a 24 year marriage and lots of explaining to do with our teenaged kids.
Cock.

@PrincessesRUs

Stains on the bedsheets - he tried to say it was spilt Coca Cola !!!!!!

WTF??? Since when have stains of that nature been the colour of Coca Cola???

OW #1

I was two weeks postpartum and chronically sleep deprived / struggling with a colicky newborn who didn't sleep. Her sister who i didn't know from adam messaged me on facebook saying I needed to speak to my OH as he's got her sister pregnant - she thought it was hilarious.

I stayed, sadly, and welcomed that baby into my home when she arrived.

OW #2 a couple of years later.

I woke up to a text from him saying he had cheated on me again and had left in the middle of the night. This OW forced his hand to tell me or she would, he took the cowards way out and waited until he snuck out at 3.00am to send the text.

She actually added me on Facebook the night before he left to push him into action. I had suspected he was up to something but didn't make any connection to the friend request because the woman who added me looked the same age as his mum. Work colleague I'd never heard of and he had been shagging her for months.

I'll laugh about it all one day I'm sure.