Hi, been with dp for 13 years, 3 kids.
I am so confused if I am being emotionally abused or over thinking. Maybe I think I am over thinking because I am abused? I don’t know!! My mind is all over and I really would appreciate an outside perspective.
So when we met it was amazing, both of us totally in love and couldn’t be without each other seriously. Constant txts, calls or seeing each other, would fall asleep in the early hours chatting because we couldn’t put the phone down.
These days and for a good 2 years he is very I don’t know mean! If I ever bring anything up he doesn’t want to discuss. He looses his temper, shouts at me, he would say putting his point across, but he shouts, insults me over and over. I rarely bite and shout back but I do sometimes, but that just makes it worse obviously.
Everything is my fault, I point out and stick up for myself and he says his behaviour is my fault, I pushed him to it.
I think I am I reasonable person and open minded, I always try to see his point of view, it’s like three is a block and he is mentally unable to see mine.
For instance, last night I found out he received a payout from hmrc in January, didn’t tell me, spent it on bits and bobs. Also found out he put £900 into erp which I don’t really understand, but lied to my face it was £100 the day before and again last night then decided to tell me. I didn’t say a word. He then went mad, moody, then shouting, name calling etc.
Sorry I can’t explain myself or everything that goes on, but what do you think?
Also he doesn’t do the shouting all the time, he is usually very loving, it’s around once a month. He will blow up, punch walls, insults, his behaviour is my fault.
Doesn’t come to bed with me ever.
I spend my life cleaning, wfh, cooking, washing with no recognition. Doesn’t help with anything at all apart from cleaning up after tea, it’s my job because he works more hours than me. That pisses me off but maybe he is right?
My mind is all over! I don’t know what to do.