Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me understand if I am being abused?!

133 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 13/04/2021 21:25

Hi, been with dp for 13 years, 3 kids.
I am so confused if I am being emotionally abused or over thinking. Maybe I think I am over thinking because I am abused? I don’t know!! My mind is all over and I really would appreciate an outside perspective.
So when we met it was amazing, both of us totally in love and couldn’t be without each other seriously. Constant txts, calls or seeing each other, would fall asleep in the early hours chatting because we couldn’t put the phone down.
These days and for a good 2 years he is very I don’t know mean! If I ever bring anything up he doesn’t want to discuss. He looses his temper, shouts at me, he would say putting his point across, but he shouts, insults me over and over. I rarely bite and shout back but I do sometimes, but that just makes it worse obviously.
Everything is my fault, I point out and stick up for myself and he says his behaviour is my fault, I pushed him to it.
I think I am I reasonable person and open minded, I always try to see his point of view, it’s like three is a block and he is mentally unable to see mine.
For instance, last night I found out he received a payout from hmrc in January, didn’t tell me, spent it on bits and bobs. Also found out he put £900 into erp which I don’t really understand, but lied to my face it was £100 the day before and again last night then decided to tell me. I didn’t say a word. He then went mad, moody, then shouting, name calling etc.

Sorry I can’t explain myself or everything that goes on, but what do you think?
Also he doesn’t do the shouting all the time, he is usually very loving, it’s around once a month. He will blow up, punch walls, insults, his behaviour is my fault.
Doesn’t come to bed with me ever.
I spend my life cleaning, wfh, cooking, washing with no recognition. Doesn’t help with anything at all apart from cleaning up after tea, it’s my job because he works more hours than me. That pisses me off but maybe he is right?
My mind is all over! I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Whydidimarryhim · 17/04/2021 08:27

Hi op has he actually left yet?
I’d be surprised he will go that easily. He will keep a low profile and wait for the storm to pass. He won’t go willingly.
What I would do is when he next kicks off I would call the police.
They will remove him for you. It’s the only way my ex went - I had to report him to the police. He was so charming to me and others. Oh yes he loved me, rubbed my feet, cuddled me when I was washing up and he was abusive. I doubted and doubted like you - he never took responsibility - always my fault.
Your partner is abusive through and through.
Your children will f....ing sing when he goes.

Re monies. Look on entitleto a benefit website - you may get some tax credits and he will need to pay you maintainable.
Get hold of a wage slip, his NI number - take pictures so he can pay child maintenance.
You had a difficult child hood - you normalised this as your normal.
You are used to his behaviour -
I’d look up trauma bonding.
I would also contact women’s aid if your in the UK.
I’m so so happy I got my ex husband out.
I married my father sadly.
You could benefit from counselling and maybe an anti depressant if your mood is low. He’s ground you down. You’ve been treading on egg shells for years.
Just be mindful what you say to him. He will not change, gather any insights or be truly remorseful.
My ex was sent by the courts on a domestic violence course - I wouldn’t take him back. Evidence shows once the abusive dynamic has been set up between a couple it very very rarely even after the course the abuse will stop.
Keep posting as it helps to gain more insight and will provide support for you. 💐💐

Workinghardeveryday · 17/04/2021 09:28

He hasn’t left, we stay out of each other’s way totally. Not seen him for days. He won’t go, only place he can go is his mums and he won’t, says he needs time to think and can’t there.
All of what you are saying makes total sense and I agree with it all, makes me stop second guessing myself and pulls me out of feeling so hopeless about the future.
I need to get advice about tax credits and work out how much maintenance he will have to pay. I can’t see how he can afford to even rent around here and pay me maintenance, even for a 2 bedroom dump it’s a fortune.
We have arranged to talk after lunch today. I am so nervous about seeing him and I really don’t know why! Thinking about what to wear and stuff. I am dreading it, it’s like we do need to sort things out but I am dreading the going around in circles conversations that always go back to something being my fault. In one way it’s a good thing if it’s like that, at least it will firm up in my mind we are doing the right thing. Whenever we talk or he shouts I always just look at him and have no respect for the bull that comes out his mouth and pathetic childish worries he has. That sounds cold of me but I am fed up of smiling sweetly and listening to him tell me he is going to be a millionaire so he doesn’t have to work though stocks and shares.
I don’t feel tearful today, not yet anyway, instead of missing him I just think he’s rather bla.!

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 17/04/2021 09:28

It's pretty common that they act cool with it until the last minute. Then they suddenly change their mind about leaving.

harknesswitch · 18/04/2021 09:02

How he affords anything is no longer your concern op, concentrate on yourself and the dcs

Whydidimarryhim · 19/04/2021 17:05

Hi working how did the talk go with him?
How are you?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/04/2021 17:16

Hope things went ok with your talk.
You don't seem cold at all, just determined. And like it finally sunk in that his behaviour,his attitude,his abuse ,his wellbeing etc aren't your fault or responsibility.

Giraffey1 · 20/04/2021 00:00

OP, hope you are ok! Come back and let us know how you are doing.

Workinghardeveryday · 26/04/2021 15:43

Hi, sorry for the silence, been getting my head together.
The talk lasted about 10 hours. No arguing at all.
We talked about so much, he understands I won’t stand for it anymore not even once.
We are working through things, trying to start from fresh, we are both really trying, long may it last!
Please don’t judge me, I need to try one last time after we have discussed it all and at least I will know I did all I could if that makes sense

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread