Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

[SpringlikeBunk]

Come ye all!

for a site* Working on a laptop in the sunshine is lovely, just cant see my typos

@pineappleonpizzaornot all good here. I think you can pay for 1 day on Bumble if you want to see your likes.

Im a detective too, recent discoveries are drink drive convictions, estrangements from family and currently a k pop girl groups number one superfan (he's nearly 50).

Tinder blue ticks - what do they mean?

@frankiefirstyear that means they've verified their profile, so should be the person you see in the photos.

Thank you @TheCatWithTheHat

@TheCatWithTheHat I run and would not date any man who approached me while running. Maybe through a running club if I knew them, but not approaching me otherwise.

I'm in the same boat as @VanGoghsDog and @DudeFromThatLondon - I'm happy to cover a lot of ground in chat, so if it gets to meeting in person I'm thinking I'd like to take however long to figure out if we're going to be compatible.

@Eesha I've always viewed paying as a necessary evil to save time going through all the profiles that the app throws at me. The algorithm are not very intelligent - they should know me by now from my reaction times to certain keywords and photos.

I get told I look better in person - I really don't take a good photo and I look best animated. This is good as generally people are not disappointed, but it is a bit of a disadvantage on apps that focus on photos.

In many ways, I 'do better' in real life with men, but I simply don't meet any. The walking group has men but far fewer than women, not all single, not all my age, certainly not all fanciable. But I have managed to date two over three years, one of whom was a years relationship.

And then there is MrWG........

I'm probably not alone in picking out my best, most flattering photos

Apparently we are not our own best judges and we should ask others to choose our photos. My sister recently commented on a photo where I Iook "lovely" and I think it's hideous!
Similarly, I printed a photo of her and my niece off Facebook and put it in a frame, sister hates it because her knee "looks funny"! As if anyone looks at her knee (plus it doesn't, it looks like a knee!).

But I think you did that Cat, on a website?

@MotherForker I was thinking more of just being out and about, and doing stuff that brings you into contact with people. Quite a few people were stopping to take photos when I was there, and I had a few friendly nods and hellos.

Of course there's a big leap between a friendly nod and asking someone on a date, but it's one of the ways people met before OLD came along, and maybe it's time to go old-school as the apps just don't seem to work for me (and a lot of others).

My "dinner tomorrow" date deleted me after I replied saying I wasn't free this evening, and in any case preferred to get to know someone a little more before meeting. I've seen her photos before at least a couple of times before, so I'm not sure whether it was a fake profile using the same pictures, or she's just doing the rounds getting lots of free meals.

@VanGoghsDog I did - it was on the suggestion of @bangheadhere40, and it was interesting to see the comments and votes. I'd already had some help picking out my profile photos, so it was nice to see the one others had suggested was the one that voted highest. My personal favourites ended up 4th and 5th out of 5, so you're right in that we're not always the best judges.

The site is photofeeler if anyone's interested in trying it for themselves.

Oooo @Eesha think I'll try a 1 day fee then. But I seem to match with everyone on bumble, so not sure if the men just swipe left on all women hoping for a message? Maybe @TheCatWithTheHat can clarify a bit?

The site is photofeeler if anyone's interested in trying it for themselves

Not sure I'm resilient enough for that!

I am going to try going on more second dates as long as the first hasn't gone terribly or they have done something that I don't like. I was talking to a friend the other day about my dating life and she said that I write men off too quickly, that I expect the spark/fireworks from an initial date when really its just verifying the person is who they say they are and nothing is alarmingly wrong.
I think she has a point as I have been on so many first dates but very rarely progressed to a second.
At the moment even getting a first date would be nice.

I am seeing so many profiles of people I have known through sixth form and uni. Lots of new faces on the apps from when I was on last year.

Walking date hasn't been confirmed for the weekend and I haven't heard from him today. I might have a video call tomorrow night but he has gone quite since finding out we practically do them same job

I’m not on the apps unless both MrSaw and MrPM stand me up next week but the dating coach I mentioned earlier had an interesting strategy for swiping.

1. If you swipe and match say hi straight away as soon as you know - peoples attention spans are so short with new matches so you want to connect ASAP

1. Most of these will be duds.

1. Try to make sure you only have 2-3 chats going at the same time as that’s the maximum you can focus on.

Once you’ve got these going, stop swiping. If one drops, swipe again.

If you have 5-6 chats and some are ok but you have 2-3 favourites you’ll end up “burning your bridges” with the others who might be good matches if not for the others?

Ohh that's interesting, that's how I operate! Definitely can't keep up with more than 3!

I can't even get one good chat, never mind 3! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm trying to avoid having "filler" guys where I'm not that excited about meeting them.

You know like the

guy in Sex and the City?

I have resorted to whatsapping a guy that lives 100 miles away, doesn't drive and has sole custody of a four year old.....but he makes me laugh 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I did not realise the power of someone who can make you laugh. I'd have stayed with my exH if I'd have realised sooner 😩

It is funny on the photo site...well not funny but interesting. I saw cats photos and the one I was sure would do best did worst I think 🤣

I wasn't rated as highly as I'd hoped on mine!

Hey @pineappleonpizzaornot 👋😁 the joys of dating continue hey!!

Im off all the OLD at the mo.. cant be doing with it, just endless crap and I feel generally happier without it.. it’s my 40th next month so want to stay in a good headspace and not let all that crap ruin my even keel!! The good news is I get my long planned bday drinks in central even with covid restrictions... yay 🍹🍹🍹

Hey @Shayelle2009, so pleased you're in a good place! I am and I'm not, sometimes I really want someone then I don't! Happy birthday for your 40th have a fab day!! Xx

@bangheadhere40 nope i wasn't rated highly either! But there's a little part of me that thinks with that site, women are much less likely to say a man's picture is hideous etc and will use the 'ok/somewhat' choice whereas i think men who vote are pretty ruthless. However i did amend my pictures slightly as a result!

Oh gosh I did the photo feeler website thing and i was not prepared for how many negative reviews! I am overweight but pretty. Apparently overweight cancels out pretty for most people!
I deleted all my apps after as it knocked my confidence completely