Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

[SpringlikeBunk]

Come ye all!

Just rang off with Mr Bookworm. We had a really lovely chat again. We had a few times where we couldn't think what to say, but I think that'll get easier when we get to know one another. We're going to see each other again on Saturday.

@GaraMedouar if you are not feeling it with Mr Irish I would text as you suggested. Better than keeping the chat going when you’re not interested as it’s more hassle for you and unfair on him.

My current Mr TG is very dry over text, no flirting whatsoever but in person is very engaging. Why don’t you bite the bullet and ask if he is up for a drink?

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Just rang off with Mr Bookworm. We had a really lovely chat again. We had a few times where we couldn't think what to say, but I think that'll get easier when we get to know one another. We're going to see each other again on Saturday.

Pleased to see this update 🤗

@BelladiMamma 😊

Yay @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

@Mayzee - yes i know I need to text Mr Irish. I think part of it is my brain cannot cope with more than one iron. I know I need to not over invest, but I’m obviously not good at multitasking.
As for Mr Haircut - I suppose after my first disastrous Mr S date (actually not disastrous on the day really just no second date ) I’m wary of doing it again - but maybe I need to do a second attempt. Soon I’ll be a dab hand at this and won’t think twice but I’ve only just stuck my toe in this OLD malarkey . Still wondering whether to dye my salt and peppers but I think the answer is ‘can’t be bothered’ .

Maybe I think if Mr Haircut wants a date he’ll ask. I suppose I still feel foolish about Mr S , and worried I can’t pick up signals. He’s not even suggested a phone chat yet. With Mr S we quickly went onto phone chats at his suggestion.
But makes me feel better that you say Mr TG is very dry over texts.

@GaraMedouar

Yay *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

@Mayzee - yes i know I need to text Mr Irish. I think part of it is my brain cannot cope with more than one iron. I know I need to not over invest, but I’m obviously not good at multitasking.
As for Mr Haircut - I suppose after my first disastrous Mr S date (actually not disastrous on the day really just no second date ) I’m wary of doing it again - but maybe I need to do a second attempt. Soon I’ll be a dab hand at this and won’t think twice but I’ve only just stuck my toe in this OLD malarkey . Still wondering whether to dye my salt and peppers but I think the answer is ‘can’t be bothered’ .

Maybe I think if Mr Haircut wants a date he’ll ask. I suppose I still feel foolish about Mr S , and worried I can’t pick up signals. He’s not even suggested a phone chat yet. With Mr S we quickly went onto phone chats at his suggestion.
But makes me feel better that you say Mr TG is very dry over texts.

@GaraMedouar

Also @GaraMedouar we have been dating for almost 5 months and have never spoken on the phone!
Which suits me because I hate being on the phone.
You are right to take it at a pace that you are comfortable with though with Mr Haircut. I hope he does suggest a date soon

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards great that things are going well. Are you meeting in person Saturday? It’s great that you have gelled so well:)

@havecourage8bekind missed your update - sounds like you’ve been having a nice time. Hope you get to meet Mr Impressions again soon.

@Mayzee

Also *@GaraMedouar* we have been dating for almost 5 months and have never spoken on the phone! Which suits me because I hate being on the phone. You are right to take it at a pace that you are comfortable with though with Mr Haircut. I hope he does suggest a date soon

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards great that things are going well. Are you meeting in person Saturday? It’s great that you have gelled so well:)

@havecourage8bekind missed your update - sounds like you’ve been having a nice time. Hope you get to meet Mr Impressions again soon.

I know :) no, we're just video chatting at the moment.

Glad it went well @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I think the odd awkward silence is pretty standard especially if nerves are involved.
All quiet on the irons front for me. On/off iron (will actually refer to as Mr O) is still in contact trying to smooth things over but I'm not convinced.
Enjoying a light swipe/but of chat on FB dating but no one has grabbed my attention yet.
Interesting convo re splitting the bill. It makes me uncomfortable to not pay my way at all but I'm happy to take turns. Easier said than done if you're not sure about a second meet! I wouldn't argue it in public like pp but it'd be noted how it got to that insistence.

Fascinated by the meal £ convo. Totally hadn't thought one through at all. Have done every which way, split the bill or let them pay or paid it all myself if I knew they had special occasion coming up.

Agreed that it can be another amber flag but hadn't had it on my list of notable things. If I'm in a restaurant I am usually paying attention to how they talk to the waiting staff.

Out on date 3 with Mr Bear 🐻 tonight. Heading into town and have booked a place near the seafront

The chat about paying/splitting bill etc reminded me of a date where I offered to pay half (despite the fact he'd been having 2 drinks to my 1) and even passed the cash across but he refused to allow me to. Anyway things turned sour when it was clear I wasn't intending to sleep with him on the second date whilst trying to arrange it. He then tracked me down on all my socials demanding half the bill back 🤦‍♀️😆

By way of an update mr hair has remained consistent in his messaging and we've even fitted a video call in each day since seeing each other Saturday 😁 mr non comital still in contact but doesn't message anywhere near as much

Is it just me or do these guys think by date 2 your going to sleep with them.
I know for 100% I won't want too that early.
Maybe I'm old and boring but at least 5 dates for me,if not more.

@BelladiMamma - date 3 with Mr Bear - sounds like it’s going well

@Slothmomma

The chat about paying/splitting bill etc reminded me of a date where I offered to pay half (despite the fact he'd been having 2 drinks to my 1) and even passed the cash across but he refused to allow me to. Anyway things turned sour when it was clear I wasn't intending to sleep with him on the second date whilst trying to arrange it. He then tracked me down on all my socials demanding half the bill back 🤦‍♀️😆

By way of an update mr hair has remained consistent in his messaging and we've even fitted a video call in each day since seeing each other Saturday 😁 mr non comital still in contact but doesn't message anywhere near as much

I vaguely remember a thread about someone doing this ages ago 🤣 what a nutter! Lucky escape!

I think it's impossible to tell when you'll be ready to sleep with someone, if indeed ever. I pay no attention to that, just go with what feels right. Would be an absolute flat no if I felt even slightly nudged, especially by way of compensation for a date!
I have a vague memory of someone on this thread whose date asked for the pound for the bag of chips he bought, I want to say @bangheadhere40 but can't be sure?!

@VanGoghsDog

You shouldn’t be so dismissive of other opinions - it’s definitely sexist. To YOU maybe

I didn’t need you to point out the difference between real friends and OLD. My mantra is start as you mean to go on. You may choose to divide up to the last brass farthing - I specified what I like to do and what works for me.

And I’m British btw.

I remember the pound for the bag of chips too

@walkigonsuncc like Heart I don’t think there’s a ‘right’ a date number for sleeping with someone- it’s when you feel comfortable and if anyone is pushing for sex before that it’s a red red flag!

@BelladiMamma date 3! Fantastic:)

@Slothmomma I hope you told the idiot where to go

Yes it was a date of mine that asked for £1 for my chips 🤣

You shouldn’t be so dismissive of other opinions - it’s definitely sexist. To YOU maybe

It's not sexist to ME. If something someone does is purely as a result of someone's sex it is sexist. By definition.

And I never said I "count to the last farthing" so you've just created a strawman there.

mayzee yes I did. I wasn't sure about him anyway and was only going to do a second date to give him a chance. Luckily he showed his true colours whilst trying to organise it

Lol sorry to remind you of that @bangheadhere40 but it stuck with me as it was so tight!

@VanGoghsDog
I said he invites me he pays. I invite whoever I pay. What on earth does this have to do with sex ?

[quote Myfabby]@VanGoghsDog
I said he invites me he pays. I invite whoever I pay. What on earth does this have to do with sex ?[/quote]
Yeah, you've changed what you said and you've taken just one part of my point.

You do you.

Need to come her to vent some woes before bed.

I'm finding that, now I have some chats going on with people I don't know, a lot of people are put off me because of my life.

For example.
A guy I've been chatting to, today learned about my job (that I need no qualifications for but it involves skill that's mostly natural), he's quite well educated, previously he's complemented me on my grammar and knowledge, so my lack of education hasn't at all been apparent to him.

As we know, lots of men pit 'don't match if you have a crazy ex' etc so that also cuts a lot of men out. But even the ones that don't put that have said in the past that I'm selfish or dangerous for involving someone else into my dramas. Also, they say things like 'what sort of woman are you to have got mixed up in that'.

Logically I know that it's good to find out early, dodged a bullet, etc etc but my life is seriously messed up. Things could be worse, but they could be better too (though the better part will come with my kids being older, so nothing I can change any time soon).

When answering questions I find my answers ridiculous, laughable, unbelievable, hard to articulate without an essay attached to explain wtf I was thinking at the time. It's making me feel like what's the point and why would anyone take the time to get to know me even with all this extra crap to wade through.

MrM commented once about 'it's supposed to be fun and carefree, not serious and analytic', I find this really hard because I want to be honest and open and not lead someone a merry dance to their chagrin.