Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

[SpringlikeBunk]

Come ye all!

I have my jab tomorrow and really wish I had a partner! I'm scared of the needle and have to find the venue in a big town I'm not familiar with.would be lovely to have someone to be there for me.
I'm sure it will be fine,as long as I can lie down for it,or at least sit.

@kerkyra

I have my jab tomorrow and really wish I had a partner! I'm scared of the needle and have to find the venue in a big town I'm not familiar with.would be lovely to have someone to be there for me. I'm sure it will be fine,as long as I can lie down for it,or at least sit.

I also have a needle phobia, but it was fine, I steeled myself for the greater good. Top tip - I found sucking a menthol sweet helped, regulated my breathing a bit and gave me something else to focus on. Headphones can help too. You will sit, tell them you're worried and they'll put the leg rests up for you. I've had to have a series of blood tests recently, one involving three vials, I had a review of my torn retina last week, and I'm due to have a CT scan in a week too - a partner would be no use for the appointments because they can't come with you anyway. Be brave. I do understand though, it'd just be nice to have someone give you a hug and make a cup of tea afterwards. I'm petrified if they refer me for a colonoscopy, I literally have noone to take me home and be with me for the required 24 hours.

Second date with MrSaw booked in for when I do my staycation

He took a bit of time to reply to my message (on the train) but all sorted.

It’s a bit weird cause we’ve had daily contact but now we’ve met I’m not sure if we still keep the same tone and pace

Thank you so much VanGoghsDog for posting all that. It has actually really helped. When I booked it last Monday I couldn't sleep all night,i had this anxiety knot in my stomach...the same one i get when i date! But I've been ok the rest of the week and put it out of my mind but a bit teary today. I will try all your methods.
Hoping all goes well for you with the scan,a quick jab really doesn't compare to what you're going through so I will be brave.

Lots of new dating situations starting up - it’s great to see
@TheCatWithTheHat I think you did the right thing about Ms H- I hope you are doing ok:)
@SpringlikeBunk sounds like a great date (when gin is involved it’s always good )
@cravingthelook take care - I get the draw back to Mr HT but your heart is on the line 🤗

Nothing much going in with me. Was on restricted movements up until this evening as two of my kids needed covid tests- all negative thankfully - so won’t be seeing Mr TG.
I’m very frustrated about how things are going with us but I’m also very frustrated about life right now, lockdown etc. so I’m trying not to make any snap decisions about anything with him as a result. He seems fine with how things are though 🤷‍♀️

@kerkyra my DD is so needle phobic and after her hospital stay in December that has extended to any medical procedure- so I nearly had to pin her down for her covid test My woo friend has recommended Rescue remedy if you like that kind of thing- anything that will help relax you beforehand would be good but I agree tell the vaccinators as they will have seen loads of people with needle phobias and will do anything to put you at your ease. It’s great you are getting your vaccine and that you are pushing yourself to go :)

@SpringlikeBunk

Thanks *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

Great date just got in - definitely up for a second one if offered .

My top tip for anyone lining up first meets outside is to not drink a coffee and gin and tonic and go somewhere with no loos.

Highlight of day was getting to the front of a 15 minute queue for loos.

But I echo my earlier comment that dashing medics often give good date or two

then they save a few lives and you never see them again

Just catching up with thread now.

@cravingthelook I agree take care of yourself.

Seems like you’re being put in the “fallback girl” position a bit here?

Flaky men don’t really change - you’ve had a taste of great contact so it’s like an addictive drug to your brain when you are in contact (yes I got that with MrMilitary a LOT)

but then there’s the “lows” of unreplied messages or the dates that never happen.

So glad to hear you had a good time, @Spring. ❤️😘

@kerkyra

I have my jab tomorrow and really wish I had a partner! I'm scared of the needle and have to find the venue in a big town I'm not familiar with.would be lovely to have someone to be there for me. I'm sure it will be fine,as long as I can lie down for it,or at least sit.

@kerkyra sending you lots of love and good luck ❤️😘

Thanks Mayzee. Your poor daughter.Hope she is all better now.
My last needle was a blood test years ago. I lay down and asked the nurse to count down from three and then I went all floppy.Then sat with head between knees for a bit.Then jumped up and was fine.so I know it will be ok.A tonne of spiders tipped on me or a jab,I know which I'd pick.
Anyway,sorry to go off subject.
Chatting to a handsome ginger haired bloke.And a more dull but probably better suited iron,but not sure I will fancy him hmm.

Thanks onwards 🙂

@kerkyra - had the jab today and needle was tiny. Pin prick and I’m quite sensitive.... Well maybe not, but it was definitely small. Tractor and bobble hat Is a string look ... has a definite something 😁

Having had a bit of a thread catch up, it’s a bit disconcerting but I recognise elements of myself in some of these guys you describe. Not the weird shit, but just being a bit chaotic and treading on egg shells round my ex (tbf she’s pretty out there). Helps to see common sense opinions on expectations of shit-togetherness.

had the jab today and needle was tiny. Pin prick and I’m quite sensitive

Needle phobia isn't logical though, how big the needle is and how much it hurts doesn't impact on the phobia.

I also "go floppy", usually can't feel my feet for a while.

Not really logic, just giving a heads up of what to expect. Also, not trying to invalidate feelings / anxiety. Not keen on heights myself for example.

@kerkyra

Thanks onwards 🙂

@kerkyra 🙂

kerkyra on my first shift vaccinating I ended up in the only bay with a couch, so they sent all the needle phobes and fainters my way. Scary AF but as others have said on here it's a very thin needle and the anxious people didn't believe I'd done it because they hadn't felt it, and nobody fainted. You'll be absolutely fine, it's really quick and the finest needle; nothing like a blood test.

Look after yourself craving. Mr HT sounds like a drug. So good when you're with him, but you know deep down it's actually really bad for you.

I'm taking an app break while I wait for a very unattractive flare-up of an eye condition to settle. It makes me look like a panda who's cried for a week.

Morning all. Just caught up with yesterday's posts. Good luck to those having jabs. I'm now old enough for the next age criteria so I've had a text to book mine in.

I had my date yesterday. We did a coffee on a bench in local park. 3 hours flew by. He was lovely. Didnt get I want to rip his clothes off spark but he is attractive. He seems keen and I think he's definitely worth more meets to see how it goes.

May have another park date with the other less committal iron today but true to form nothing confirmed yet.

Spoke too soon, mr non-committal has just messaged to confirm details so another park date today too - it feels like dating as a 14 year old 😄

I've been invited on 2 dates
One next Friday -for drinks at Newcastle quayside (he seems nice enough,not sure i fancy him)
Then the Friday after in jesmond for cocktails (also not sure )

Do I go and just treat it as 2 nice nights out ?

@Slothmomma hope you have a great date,it's a lovely day for it

@walkigonsuncc

I've been invited on 2 dates One next Friday -for drinks at Newcastle quayside (he seems nice enough,not sure i fancy him) Then the Friday after in jesmond for cocktails (also not sure )

Do I go and just treat it as 2 nice nights out ?

Yes! Am trying to learn this too. Let's learn together. Take them as 2 nice outings, nothing more 🙂

Thanks walkigonsun and yes, why not go on both dates and enjoy a couple of evenings out

Is it 'normal' for chat to reduce when date is semi-confirmed ie.day set but not time because he 'needs to have a look' (three days ago). Why are people so flaky 🤷‍♀️ too much to ask for an actual solid arrangement to look forward to apparently! I came to expect that from MrM, but didn't think it was the norm tbh!

Chatting to a new guy due to absolute boredom, but he's a bit baby face and perhaps a bit quiet to like my crazy.

Still have a bit of residual anger at the whole MrM situation but my go-to is to transfer affections to someone new before letting go of past hurt. Something I need to work on but not sure how 🤷‍♀️

Enjoy dates today everyone

@frankiefirstyear

Is it 'normal' for chat to reduce when date is semi-confirmed ie.day set but not time because he 'needs to have a look' (three days ago). Why are people so flaky 🤷‍♀️ too much to ask for an actual solid arrangement to look forward to apparently! I came to expect that from MrM, but didn't think it was the norm tbh!

Chatting to a new guy due to absolute boredom, but he's a bit baby face and perhaps a bit quiet to like my crazy.

Still have a bit of residual anger at the whole MrM situation but my go-to is to transfer affections to someone new before letting go of past hurt. Something I need to work on but not sure how 🤷‍♀️

Enjoy dates today everyone

I find chat often reduces once you have time in diary or have met up, even if you are very into each other it's just more relaxing to not be on WhatsApp all the time. Plus you don't build up false intimacy.

I'm currently working on reducing my matches as I get inbox anxiety otherwise and there are a couple I know I won't be pursuing things with. So they're going off the list. I always feel a bit guilty but actually I'm also not into being a time waster.

@frankiefirstyear

Yeh it is annoying isn’t it?

I think from your end maybe best to make sure you don’t book out your day/have a plan B etc?

Some people are just not naturally very considerate of others time, and I’d say this is something for you yourself to factor into whether you want to get to know them or not?

Eg with my last iron MrC it was just great having someone in my life who did what he said he would when he would and being able to look forward to meeting.

rather than the modern tradition of someone sending me a few cryptic messages and expecting me to respond positively to last minute requests to come over!

Obviously people have other commitments and we all often have to run late/cancel etc? And it’s not expecting the man to “chase” or set up formal dates.

But equally it’s not all on the women to have to take on the “mental load” of organising and maintaining the connection whilst the guy flakes.

[quote SpringlikeBunk]**@frankiefirstyear

Yeh it is annoying isn’t it?

I think from your end maybe best to make sure you don’t book out your day/have a plan B etc?

Some people are just not naturally very considerate of others time, and I’d say this is something for you yourself to factor into whether you want to get to know them or not?

Eg with my last iron MrC it was just great having someone in my life who did what he said he would when he would and being able to look forward to meeting.

rather than the modern tradition of someone sending me a few cryptic messages and expecting me to respond positively to last minute requests to come over!

Obviously people have other commitments and we all often have to run late/cancel etc? And it’s not expecting the man to “chase” or set up formal dates.

But equally it’s not all on the women to have to take on the “mental load” of organising and maintaining the connection whilst the guy flakes.[/quote]
I've just reread your post @frankiefirstyear and if it's about people being flaky and then not following up I'm so with you. Don't waste other people's time. Hate it!!!