Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

[SpringlikeBunk]

Come ye all!

@SpringlikeBunk I have had a lot of that and they seem to just want more followers. None seem to have kept a conversation up or even started one of switching to Instagram.

Thank you @VanGogh and @Slothmomma. It's not till 1pm. So just watching tv to date my mind off it a bit!

VanGoghsDog You never know - I had a decorator come round for a quote last October - he'd already done work for me before but we had never been single at the same time. We have been in a rather lovely FWB situation even since. Beware though, he still hasn't done my decorating yet - keeps on telling me I'm not in any hurry!

*take my mind off it. My typing is all over the place at the moment 😂

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@SpringlikeBunk I have had a lot of that and they seem to just want more followers. None seem to have kept a conversation up or even started one of switching to Instagram.[/quote]
@Dancer I've had a lot of that on OLD as well (particularly on Bumble) I agree that some guys just seem to want to collect Instagram followers. I do find it funny, but a bit sad at the same time. 😘

@Slothmomma

Good luck onwardseverstriding. Try not to view it as a date but just scoping out whether they are a potential for a date 😉

@Slothmomma 👍🏻

@Dancerinthemoonlight

That’s a shame - I thought we had some genuine intellectual common ground from the chat but clearly not his goal!

I randomly picked a more “glam” first photo on tinder (very recent, but with hair down and more stylish etc) and maybe this is what drew him in. Might change to a “cute” one

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I agree it seems sad and shallow - I know social media is important to some people, but it’s like they want their Instagram followers to be restricted to or dominated by “cool looking women with attractive photos”

(who they don’t actually know - I could be a forty year old trucker from Arkansas!)

Sort of having this fantasy glam social life without actually having it.

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I agree it seems sad and shallow - I know social media is important to some people, but it’s like they want their Instagram followers to be restricted to or dominated by “cool looking women with attractive photos”

(who they don’t actually know - I could be a forty year old trucker from Arkansas!)

Sort of having this fantasy glam social life without actually having it.[/quote]
@Spring I completely agree 🙂

I have got so far as downloading the apps but not set up profiles yet. Procrastinating as I don't know what photos to use. All of my recent pictures are either mirror selfies or face selfies. The mirror selfies just seem a bit awkward

Matched with and messaged by another hunk

I don’t know if he wants Instagram but he’s asking “please communicate in English” so I assume it’s not his first language and he wants a chat partner

(Actually I’d be quite happy to just have someone like this as long as he’s kind and polite?)

I just lurk on this thread. Quick question. Snapchat and Kik...always used for sending dirty pics? Or do they have more positive uses. I have neither...TIA!

I do check people out - but I don’t need to “connect” with them to do so?

Eg LinkedIn and any work details and profiles can normally be viewed without registering.

They can't check me out because I wouldn't give them my name. My name on the apps isn't my real name either. I work for the govt, we have very strict sm policies, no way would I want some internet random seeing my LinkedIn profile! And I'd never tell them my actual employer (it's not directly the govt).

I don't have Instagram.

Noone has ever asked me for sm links anyway, and I don't "follow" people so it wouldn't do them any good to ask me anyway.

I'm just old and boring. I give a false first name (as has decorator guy, I note his name on his co website is different) and meet in a public place. If they're lucky I might tell them my real first name after we meet. :)

@Dabbi

I just lurk on this thread. Quick question. Snapchat and Kik...always used for sending dirty pics? Or do they have more positive uses. I have neither...TIA!

Can just be normal comms. But neither are something I would use personally.

they want their Instagram followers to be restricted to or dominated by “cool looking women with attractive photos”

That explains why they don't ask me 🤣

Good luck @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, I hope you have a lovely time with Mr Bookworm.

@VanGoghsDog

The thing is it’s just a massive internet bullshit game though - all based on photos?

I know people who have really really dull struggling lives who will spend AGES curating images of themselves so you think they have these Uber glam existences - it’s just photos!

And all the people “liking and commenting nice things” - most of these “friends” have never met them and if they said they had a genuine problem wouldn’t give a shit. But they’d “like” photos.

It could all be 57 year old men pretending to be young women!

@ThisTooShallBeFantastic

Good luck *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*, I hope you have a lovely time with Mr Bookworm.

@ThisTooShallBeFantastic thank you ❤️

@Dabbi

I’ve heard rumours they are linked to dirty pics.

In general I’ve found that just sticking to what contact suits you is fine?

I didn’t have WhatsApp for years and I found just texting was ok.

Ok maybe not “just phone calls on a landline ”

but if someone is sincere about meeting they’ll want to communicate however is best for meeting up in person?

Rather than needing you to have all the set up for a “virtual chat relationship”

So glad I'm old and decrepit, nobody I ever matched with has ever suggested Instagram or other social media links. It would indicate real immaturity to me if they had. I am now friends with Mr GN on FB, but only so we can play Quiz Planet together .

@Dabbi for sure Kik is for cheating marrieds. I thought Snapchat was for teenagers?

@Eesha yes that was me. Mr M wasn't named for playing me music though. I was the one who didn't think I could have a long term future with him, how wrong I was.

@Dabbi I like snapchat because you can do strange filters and play games and I do both with my boyfriend. If I send a picture, it vanishes and I get notified if he screenshots that picture. So that’s why people use it to send naked shots. However I would never send a naked shot to anyone - especially not someone I haven’t met.

Kik tends to be used by married men as you don’t need to swap phone numbers. They can just delete the app from the phone so their wife doesn’t see it and then reinstall it afterwards.

Thank you all, I may try SN. Interesting about Kik...

Aw that's lovely @sally2021 I didn't see Mr B as being long term either. It's one time I'm happy to be wrong!

Just caught up with the thread. I've never been happy at being kept a secret. My 3 month wonder wasn't ready to tell his wife about me and that was uncomfortable to me. At my age I'm not prepared to be someone's secret. And I wouldn't dream of hiding upstairs to avoid the ex. I've met Mr B's family, DC, best friend, ex wife and he's met all my family and some of my friends (lockdown). We are on each other's socials and even done the cringey FB 'in a relationship' thing! 😂

I can see reasons for not telling young children. But not other adults. Unless there is a history of abuse. And after a year and once the L word is being bandied about, I'd be thinking about being integrated into each other's lives. In whatever form was right for us.

@sally2021 Nice to see you over here. How exciting to be moving in with Mr Music.

@Dabbi Personally I used Kik when I was on dating sites looking for casual sex and if someone set my spidey senses off I didn't want to give my number so gave my Kik name instead.
9 out of 10 times I was right and they were married.

I'm not allowed snapchat as my daughter said I'm too old🤣