Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What age did you meet the love of your life?

242 replies

Herewegoagain22 · 11/04/2021 13:34

I’m 33, had three long term relationships, but never been married or had kids. I would love nothing more than to settle down and find my ‘person’. I’m just out of a relationship where I got very hurt, and I’m taking a lot of time to focus on me and be on my own. But at 33, everyone around me is settling down, buying houses (I already own my own), getting engaged, marrying, announcing pregnancies. I just don’t think it will ever happen for me. I would be lying if I said seeing all this whilst I feel so shit isn’t making me envious, because it is.

What age did you all meet your ‘person’ and settle down? I know I’m only 33 but with everything I’ve gone through in my life I feel about 50.

OP posts:
hilariousnamehere · 11/04/2021 13:37

I decided at 28, after two good relationships, that I just didn't want another one. Built my life solo and have never been happier 😁 am 35 now and friends are also marrying, settling down and having children at a rate of knots and it's very restful to just watch and not worry about it.

Various friends of mine have met their person up to and including age 67 though 💙

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 11/04/2021 13:39

I'm 35f and I havent yet

moochingtothepub · 11/04/2021 13:42

I was married for 20 years, mostly happy but since have met an amazing man in middle age. I think it's possible to meet more than oneGrin (just preferably not at the same time!) but I would suggest not thinking everything will be perfect because you are setting yourself up for a fall. Long term relationships involve compromise, but there's red lines of course too!

I would suggest thinking about what is essential eg good person, loyal, faithful etc rather than fairy tales

Outbutnotoutout · 11/04/2021 13:45

I'm 50 now and I'm with "the one" took a long time

Sunflower1970 · 11/04/2021 13:55

I had a couple of long term relationships and kissed a few frogs before finding the love of my life at 38. I sat by whilst my friends had babies and marriages and then watched some of them get divorced! I’m 50 now and it’s wonderful. Some of my friends have been married for years and some not happy. Sometimes it is good to wait rather than end up settling ! It’ll happen for you xxx

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/04/2021 14:00

I met DP fairly unexpectedly at 31. He was 41. I’m not sure he’s the love of my life or if we’ll be together forever; somebody else might show up, after all, for either of us. But we make each other very happy for the time being and that’s really all that matters.

I think looking for “the love of your life” perhaps puts unnecessary limitations on relationships. Look for somebody who you’re incredibly sexually attracted to, whose company you enjoy, who makes you laugh and who you think you could rub along well with living together.

OliveToboogie · 11/04/2021 14:57

I was married 25 years a total mistake from day one but stayed because of circumstances. Finally met my soul mate at 52, when I had stopped looking and decided I was happy on my own. He is 9 years younger than me and we have been together 6 years. Don't live together so I get both of both worlds. My own space and time with my soul mate and BFF.

SelkieBeag · 11/04/2021 14:58

At 50, I realised, youtube is the love of my life. It knows exactly what I am interested in and never lets me down. Youtube is the one.

toffeebutterpopcorn · 11/04/2021 14:59
  1. Absolutely by chance (neither of us were ‘supposed’ to be there).
ThatOtherPoster · 11/04/2021 15:01

I was 40. But other friends have been even older than that. My adorable gay best friend met his perfect match when he was 50. The woman who did my hair at my wedding started online dating at 60, had 101 dates, then met her dreamy husband aged 62.

SelkieBeag · 11/04/2021 15:03

ps, i know you don't mean it in an ageist way when you say you feel 50, because time is precious and nobody wants to fast forward through it without consciousness or without joy. But I feel lighter now at 50 than I did at 33. I had a one year old with an abusive man at 33 and I felt so heavy with the burden of all the mistakes I'd made, and the repercussions of not having valued myself having cornered me. so yes, live your life consciously and happily every minute that you can, but don't assume that it all gets worse.
It's interesting to look at ''The Happiness Curve'' by the way. There's a very typical dip at 47 and then happiness rises.

What's this got to do with the one you might be asking? well, I suppose, why does anybody want to meet 'the one'? To be happy?
If you knew you were going to be happier as you got older, that that's like proven, would you be able to care less about meeting the one?

I've no 'one' but I don't care anymore which might sound sad but it isn't. I don't think it is anyway.

PollyGray · 11/04/2021 15:04

I'm still waiting...

SelkieBeag · 11/04/2021 15:05

@ThatOtherPoster

I was 40. But other friends have been even older than that. My adorable gay best friend met his perfect match when he was 50. The woman who did my hair at my wedding started online dating at 60, had 101 dates, then met her dreamy husband aged 62.
101 dates, wow, she kept going!
joystir59 · 11/04/2021 15:11

Age 53. Had been in several.long relationships including a marriage of 18 years, but I was finally emotionally mature enough with a strong enough sense of self to meet, fall in love with and marry my true soul mate when I was 53.

tisonlymeagain · 11/04/2021 15:13
  1. We split in our early twenties, got back together in our late thirties.
DramaAlpaca · 11/04/2021 15:16

I was 23 when we met. I wasn't expecting it to turn into what it did. He was a friend and we eventually realised we had feelings for each other. We've been together 33 years now.

ThatOtherPoster · 11/04/2021 15:19

101 dates, wow, she kept going!

Yes! She's amazing. She just met them all for drinks and didn't stress about the outcome. She's got a really upbeat attitude about everything.

I hated my wedding hair, though. lol

BrownEyedGirl80 · 11/04/2021 15:21

32 After my first marriage ended

Harpydragon · 11/04/2021 15:27

15, but I didn't know until I was 30! We were good friends, lived our own lives and got together romantically when I was 30. Now 20 odd years down the line and can't imagine being with anyone else.

firstimemamma · 11/04/2021 15:33

25 and he is amazing and the father of my child but I went through absolute hell from early childhood up until 23 so my life definitely hasn't been smooth sailing! 24 was a good age - single, independent and happy and pretty much when my life properly began I'd say.

jessstan2 · 11/04/2021 15:42

I was 23.

ladygindiva · 11/04/2021 15:43
  1. My great aunt, who was like my nana, was widowed in her late 50s then at 65 met a man she shared a very happy ten years with before he suddenly passed away. They were so in love! Proved to me it can happen at any age.
theculture · 11/04/2021 15:55

34!

Sexnotgender · 11/04/2021 15:56
lubeybooby · 11/04/2021 16:01

a few months shy of 34. With several terrible relationships in the past, I was able to focus on what I definitely didn't want in a person and all the dealbreakers, and immediately chuck any twat who didn't make the grade. It was worth holding out for!

Swipe left for the next trending thread