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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Had one-night-stand with my niece’s new husband. Should I confess?

398 replies

LittleAdventure · 11/04/2021 08:18

Yes, I know ... this sounds like a particular bad episode of the Jeremy Kyle show, but don’t judge before you finished reading.

I’m a 42 year old widow, who moved back to the UK in 2019 after living abroad with my late husband for almost 15 years. Two days after I arrived back, I attended the wedding of my sister’s eldest daughter. The perfect opportunity to see my family again, I thought.

Because I live in London and the wedding was in Yorkshire, I decided to drive up the day before and take a room at a local hotel. After diner I was reading a book by the fire when a young man asked if he could sit in the chair opposite. He was in his mid 20’s and really REALLY attractive. There was eye contact, his smile made me blush, he offered me a drink and we ended up in my room having the most incredible sex. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. Although I never had a one-night-stand before, I somehow had expected it and was okay with it.

But when I arrived at the church later that morning, my sister came over and said ‘let me introduce you to groom’ and called out his name. A man in a morning suit turned around and I was looking at the same man who had been in my bed just a couple of hours earlier. It was somewhat awkward, as you can imagine.

At the time I didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to ruin my niece’s big day, but now I’m not sure it was the right thing to do. What do you think?

OP posts:
VaggieMight · 11/04/2021 15:33

I don't know why but her reading a book by the fire was the bit that stood out the most for me as bullshit

It was the blushing bit for me. I suspect a man came up with this. Fiddly dee.

MNWorldisCrazy · 11/04/2021 15:39

@LouMumsnet

We have shown the OP the door we're afraid so there won't be any more updates (they can spend more time on their novel this way) but we're happy to leave the thread standing so you can all enjoy it...
So the troll hunting posts can stay, given that MNHQ have decided it is one?! Interesting. I thought you have a zero tolerance approach to troll hunters
stoppedlurking · 11/04/2021 15:42

A chance to catch up with family but stayed in a hotel.

VinylCafe · 11/04/2021 15:44

@LemonRoses

I know, it’s so hard and they are so beguiling. Happened to me just last month. His fire-filled eyes burned through my waterproof coat. Our hands touched briefly over the dog pooh bin, sending flames into my thermal underwear. I knew I’d seen him somewhere, but was mesmerised by his chiselled masculine beauty. It was unavoidable, I’d lost all control and was powerless in the face of his lustful charm. Then I remembered I’d seen his likeness on my niece’s Facebook page. I’d not been to the wedding, how could I have known?
This is a much better story than Ops!
StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli · 11/04/2021 15:46

Once upon a time someone posted a thread on Mumsnet.
The Vipers of Mumsnet flocked to read the thread about a wishful thinking aunt who claimed to have shagged her niece's soon to be husband.
But, a few eyebrows were raised in disbelief Hmm that the OP was being genuine and was infact talking a load of shite 💩
After the flurry of gasted flabbers, in swooped MNHQ to save the day. The offending OP was swiftly scooped up and placed firmly back under a bridge.
All the Vipers of Mumsnetland were relieved and came together to celebrate having a safe space to remain viperous.
The end

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 11/04/2021 15:56

MNHQ I wish you'd decide what policy you are sticking with regarding troll posts.
You've deleted much funnier ones than this in the past saying you don't want to encourage it?
It was even suggested at one point we had a section for funny troll threads that hadn't caused distress etc.
I wish you'd make your minds up.

Livingonadream · 11/04/2021 16:00

God please don't delete it, it's the funniest thing I've read in ages

SummerHouse · 11/04/2021 16:10

No more updates?? I wanted to get to the part where the groom's evil twin is revealed dag nammit!

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/04/2021 16:13

I love that half the thread is now reading @JesusInTheCabbageVan book amd half @AliasGrape book. Some are reading both so I've no idea how they are keeping their throbbing pens separate.

The casting sounds... optimistic through. You might get Bill Nighy or Rufus Sewell but you aren't getting Emma Stone or Rege-Jean Page I'm guessing. They will be 'busy'.

peak2021 · 11/04/2021 16:29

@MrsTerryPratchett

I love that half the thread is now reading *@JesusInTheCabbageVan book amd half @AliasGrape* book. Some are reading both so I've no idea how they are keeping their throbbing pens separate.

The casting sounds... optimistic through. You might get Bill Nighy or Rufus Sewell but you aren't getting Emma Stone or Rege-Jean Page I'm guessing. They will be 'busy'.

I sense an Inbetweeners movie number 3, with Neil Harrison as the niece's husband and Belinda Stewart-Wilson as the widow.
FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack · 11/04/2021 16:30

A twin would sort this out nicely Summerhouse you can never go wrong with classic plot twists.

iklboo · 11/04/2021 16:31

To add to JesusITCV amazing commentary...

The congregation gasped as one. I felt the weight of a thousand eyes staring at me. My heart soared as I gazed into his eyes but what had I done? What should I do? My thoughts skittered and flittered like butterflies in the summer breeze. Time stood still. And then...from the back of the church my mother stood up and loudly exclaimed...

"It should have been me
You know that it should have been me
You know that it should have been me
Darling, how could you do this to me?"

expectopelargonium · 11/04/2021 16:50

Setting the wedding in Yorkshire was a mistake, you know. It would have been much better in Midsomer Bottom.

Frokni · 11/04/2021 17:22

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Chapter four

During the service, I studied the priest. His face was lined and careworn and his hair was silver, but his light blue eyes were still young, and his rural Irish accent made even the driest of religious texts ring with music. There were rumours of some long buried scandal in his past, but when one of his more forthright parishioners had challenged him, he swiftly reassured her that the money was only resting in his account.

As he turned the pages of his prayer book, I couldn't help but notice that he had no ring on his finger. When the happy couple came to say their vows, the priest's eyes rose to meet mine and I felt as though I was falling into their calm, still depths.

Suddenly the groom's voice faltered and broke. "I'm so sorry, my darling" he whispered huskily to his bride. Her smile fading on her lips, she gazed at him in growing concern. "I have fought against this feeling - God knows, I have fought - but I cannot live a lie. I love you, but my heart... my spirit... belongs to another." He turned to face me, and in a single bound, he stood before me. He dropped to his knee. "@LittleAdventure. I know this is madness, but I beg of you. Say yes."

I froze in shock, and then looked up into the clear blue eyes of the priest, who stood there with a thousand expressions flitting across his face.

The money was just resting in his account 🤣🤣🤣🤣
viques · 11/04/2021 17:37

I think the OP is getting a hard time here, (stop sniggering in the cheap seats) . Let’s face it, she has spent the last 15 years living with the cold dead body of her late husband , who can blame her for taking the chance of a bit of rumpy with the warm toned flesh of a twenty year old.

It’s a shame he wasn’t ruggedly handsome yet emotionally flawed in a Heathcliff/Mr Rochester way, though clearly since he left in the morning without even saying “how dus tha our lass” he was pretty nearly there with the emotional stuff.

nowlook · 11/04/2021 17:41

@viques

I think the OP is getting a hard time here, (stop sniggering in the cheap seats) . Let’s face it, she has spent the last 15 years living with the cold dead body of her late husband , who can blame her for taking the chance of a bit of rumpy with the warm toned flesh of a twenty year old.

It’s a shame he wasn’t ruggedly handsome yet emotionally flawed in a Heathcliff/Mr Rochester way, though clearly since he left in the morning without even saying “how dus tha our lass” he was pretty nearly there with the emotional stuff.

Oh, very good. I didn't spot that she'd been living with her late husband for 15 years. This adds a certain something to her character development, no doubt.
Pebbledashery · 11/04/2021 17:44

What do we suggest op shouted when the priest said "does anyone know of any unlawful impediment as to why these two should not be united in holy matrimony?"

StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli · 11/04/2021 17:47

She's been living with her late husband for 15 years? Shock Was he in the freezer?😳

A sinister turn of events.

1dayatatime · 11/04/2021 17:52

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Damn you are darned good at this- seriously missing a vocation in writing mills & boon / black lace (not sure if these still exist!)

viques · 11/04/2021 17:56

@StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli

She's been living with her late husband for 15 years? Shock Was he in the freezer?😳

A sinister turn of events.

I do hope so, she was living abroad, a lot of abroad is very hot.

Though to be fair there are abroad places which are very cold where living with a late husband would only be an inconvenience , not an intrusion on everyday living.

Bengal12 · 11/04/2021 18:06

_@bonfireheart
All those 20 year olds, wanting one night of passion before they settle into married life .. no not Tinder, or a bar, or a club...no to a hotel I go and find me a nice booking reading 40 year old- how niche.

You shattered all my hopes! >>puts the book back on the bookshelf

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/04/2021 18:14

Chapter five

Laughing breathlessly, we ran from the church, hand in hand, his cassock billowing in the breeze. We tumbled into his car, and I playfully fingered his rosary as he ran his hand through my windswept hair. "Take me back to your place" I whispered in his ear, biting my lip. He paused, and cleared his throat. "Sure the parochial house is a bit crowded. I was thinking maybe we could book a nice little suite in the Hilton? I could pay you back."

The Hilton? I bit my lip, remembering another hotel room, long ago. "You're right" he said hurriedly, mistaking my expression for reluctance; "we shouldn't take things too fast, so. How about a table at the Ivy? I've forgotten my wallet, but -"

At that moment, he glanced behind him and his eyes widened in shock, the colour draining from his face. "Oh, feck" he groaned. Following his gaze, a scream caught in my throat at the sight and smell of the ghastly apparition in the back seat. The figure raised a trembling finger and pointed accusingly at us. "Drrrrink?" it roared.

Pebbledashery · 11/04/2021 18:57

Haha i forgot my wallet 🤣

Fromage · 11/04/2021 19:03

MNHQ is letting this one stand because the neice is one of them, and she has waited two long years for her foolish jezebel aunt to post the tale on an internet forum so she could bring the trollop down and - gasp! - imagine the chances of the aunt posting on the very forum the neice works for?

It's karma. Or the priest has had a word with the Big Fella Up There and now the aunt, the nephew in law (or not, we have to see how this plays out) and some other bastard, not as yet introduced, will get their comeuppance.

AliasGrape · 11/04/2021 19:28

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Chapter five

Laughing breathlessly, we ran from the church, hand in hand, his cassock billowing in the breeze. We tumbled into his car, and I playfully fingered his rosary as he ran his hand through my windswept hair. "Take me back to your place" I whispered in his ear, biting my lip. He paused, and cleared his throat. "Sure the parochial house is a bit crowded. I was thinking maybe we could book a nice little suite in the Hilton? I could pay you back."

The Hilton? I bit my lip, remembering another hotel room, long ago. "You're right" he said hurriedly, mistaking my expression for reluctance; "we shouldn't take things too fast, so. How about a table at the Ivy? I've forgotten my wallet, but -"

At that moment, he glanced behind him and his eyes widened in shock, the colour draining from his face. "Oh, feck" he groaned. Following his gaze, a scream caught in my throat at the sight and smell of the ghastly apparition in the back seat. The figure raised a trembling finger and pointed accusingly at us. "Drrrrink?" it roared.

Shock

It's the late husband!