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Had one-night-stand with my niece’s new husband. Should I confess?

398 replies

LittleAdventure · 11/04/2021 08:18

Yes, I know ... this sounds like a particular bad episode of the Jeremy Kyle show, but don’t judge before you finished reading.

I’m a 42 year old widow, who moved back to the UK in 2019 after living abroad with my late husband for almost 15 years. Two days after I arrived back, I attended the wedding of my sister’s eldest daughter. The perfect opportunity to see my family again, I thought.

Because I live in London and the wedding was in Yorkshire, I decided to drive up the day before and take a room at a local hotel. After diner I was reading a book by the fire when a young man asked if he could sit in the chair opposite. He was in his mid 20’s and really REALLY attractive. There was eye contact, his smile made me blush, he offered me a drink and we ended up in my room having the most incredible sex. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. Although I never had a one-night-stand before, I somehow had expected it and was okay with it.

But when I arrived at the church later that morning, my sister came over and said ‘let me introduce you to groom’ and called out his name. A man in a morning suit turned around and I was looking at the same man who had been in my bed just a couple of hours earlier. It was somewhat awkward, as you can imagine.

At the time I didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to ruin my niece’s big day, but now I’m not sure it was the right thing to do. What do you think?

OP posts:
GoToSleepBabyPlease · 11/04/2021 10:09

@Fromage

I think he would be more likely to approach had the book been the large, A3 size print of "How To Live With Your Sex Addiction For Contortionists With No Boundaries."
It's a bloody good read, that.
AliasGrape · 11/04/2021 10:11

YABU to live in London OP. You should have returned home from exotic foreign land to live in the quirky, charming village filled with eccentric locals including at least one grumpy and reclusive elderly person. You need to open a book shop or cupcake bakery, ideally both. The locals will spurn you at first of course, they’ll think your crazy with your newfangled notions of cupcakes and books. Gradually though you’ll become indispensable to them, the elderly misanthropist will become a regular customer and you’ll slowly bring the community together it’s your cupcake decorating classes and open mic nights.

The niece should be London based through. Bridezilla. Spoilt brat career type. We need to feel like she had it coming for her groom to bed her older, curvier aunt the night before her wedding. (She needs to really emphasise her disgust for anyone older than 28 or bigger than a size 8 just to ensure she’s as unsympathetic of course.)

42 is a great age for your character, well done - though you could shave it down to 38 and make her a step-niece for extra points. You don’t mention your dress size but you should be no more than a 12, you can have big tits but you MUST have a tiny waist. I can’t emphasise that enough. It should be surprisingly slender given your advanced age. You hair should definitely be unruly as advised by a pp, in fact your unruly hair and your kindness should be your defining character traits. Though you should probably be clumsy too if you can manage it.

Your cow bag bridezilla step-niece should find out I’m thinking the groom should confess all because he’s still so in love with you, he should turn up on your doorstep and plead for you to be his. Of course you won’t do that, he will continue to try to woo you in all sorts of comedy, exasperating ways whilst your niece runs a smear campaign and gets her sinister London venture capital firm to launch a hostile takeover of your cupcake bookshop.

Niece’s boss should be incredibly handsome and more age appropriate. You’ll argue over the takeover whilst the sexual tension mounts. You’ll turn his head with your lemon drizzle and unruly hair, you’ll make him want to be a better man, he’ll try to stop the takeover but it will be too late. Your budding romance will falter. But who is the mystery buyer who swoops in at the last minute? Only the grumpy elderly neighbour/ customer who has turned into your staunchest defender (this person should be played by Bill Nighy or Judy Dench if possible) since you tracked down that rare first edition and/or effected a reconciliation with their estranged daughter. They gift you the shop (it’s so much more than a shop though) and you and the now reformed venture capitalist live happily ever after.

HTH

TracyHorrobin · 11/04/2021 10:11

Very good, JesusInTheCabbageVan. If you are not writing for a living you need to bin the day job. A fortune awaits. If it was good enough for Barbara Cartland.........

FedUpWithBriiiiick · 11/04/2021 10:14

@AliasGrape 👏👏👏👏 brava!

SionnachGlic · 11/04/2021 10:14

I call BS. Such tosh...as if the pleasantries wouldn't have incl you saying you were there for a wedding...in which case he would have run a mile. Sorry...don't believe any of it...

nowlook · 11/04/2021 10:16

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Chapter 2

The months passed, and I made the difficult decision to say nothing about that night. That wild, beautiful night when the storm raged against the lattice windows, and I finally felt the blood singing in my veins again after an eternity, and it felt for a time like we were the last two people on earth.

The day of the wedding dawned. After a night spent tossing and turning, I padded to the antique mirror in my bedroom and examined my face critically. I had lost weight without realising, and I worried that my cheekbones stood out too sharply, drawing too much attention to my large, troubled green eyes. I dressed hastily, and padded down the Victorian spiral staircase to breakfast.

He didn't see me outside the church. His crisp white shirtsleeves were rolled up, exposing muscular forearms strong enough to steady many a skittish horse before shoeing, yet encircled my waist with the utmost tenderness on that fateful night.

Biting my lip anxiously, I stepped inside the cool stillness of the church.

Phenomenal Jesus. They always dress hastily, don't they?
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/04/2021 10:18

@TracyHorrobin

Very good, JesusInTheCabbageVan. If you are not writing for a living you need to bin the day job. A fortune awaits. If it was good enough for Barbara Cartland.........
Can't, sorry. I've already agreed to start a detective agency with SionnachGlic. We're going to solve all the crimes.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/04/2021 10:19

@nowlook Grin

Chapter 3 to follow after I've got my lasagna going.

nowlook · 11/04/2021 10:23

Grin AliasGrape

I believe I've seen some of your incredibly innovative work before. Tell me about the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, for there will surely be one. I'd also appreciate an adorable small child (preferably belonging to the -widowed?- groom).

Hoppinggreen · 11/04/2021 10:23

@AliasGrape

YABU to live in London OP. You should have returned home from exotic foreign land to live in the quirky, charming village filled with eccentric locals including at least one grumpy and reclusive elderly person. You need to open a book shop or cupcake bakery, ideally both. The locals will spurn you at first of course, they’ll think your crazy with your newfangled notions of cupcakes and books. Gradually though you’ll become indispensable to them, the elderly misanthropist will become a regular customer and you’ll slowly bring the community together it’s your cupcake decorating classes and open mic nights.

The niece should be London based through. Bridezilla. Spoilt brat career type. We need to feel like she had it coming for her groom to bed her older, curvier aunt the night before her wedding. (She needs to really emphasise her disgust for anyone older than 28 or bigger than a size 8 just to ensure she’s as unsympathetic of course.)

42 is a great age for your character, well done - though you could shave it down to 38 and make her a step-niece for extra points. You don’t mention your dress size but you should be no more than a 12, you can have big tits but you MUST have a tiny waist. I can’t emphasise that enough. It should be surprisingly slender given your advanced age. You hair should definitely be unruly as advised by a pp, in fact your unruly hair and your kindness should be your defining character traits. Though you should probably be clumsy too if you can manage it.

Your cow bag bridezilla step-niece should find out I’m thinking the groom should confess all because he’s still so in love with you, he should turn up on your doorstep and plead for you to be his. Of course you won’t do that, he will continue to try to woo you in all sorts of comedy, exasperating ways whilst your niece runs a smear campaign and gets her sinister London venture capital firm to launch a hostile takeover of your cupcake bookshop.

Niece’s boss should be incredibly handsome and more age appropriate. You’ll argue over the takeover whilst the sexual tension mounts. You’ll turn his head with your lemon drizzle and unruly hair, you’ll make him want to be a better man, he’ll try to stop the takeover but it will be too late. Your budding romance will falter. But who is the mystery buyer who swoops in at the last minute? Only the grumpy elderly neighbour/ customer who has turned into your staunchest defender (this person should be played by Bill Nighy or Judy Dench if possible) since you tracked down that rare first edition and/or effected a reconciliation with their estranged daughter. They gift you the shop (it’s so much more than a shop though) and you and the now reformed venture capitalist live happily ever after.

HTH

I would totally watch that
ErinMcCafferty · 11/04/2021 10:23

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]@nowlook Grin

Chapter 3 to follow after I've got my lasagna going.[/quote]
Hope you aren’t making your own pasta! I’m on the edge of my seat.

nowlook · 11/04/2021 10:24

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]@nowlook Grin

Chapter 3 to follow after I've got my lasagna going.[/quote]
Well, don't rush it! It could become formulaic otherwise Grin

stoopider · 11/04/2021 10:25

Love the dog poo bin story 🤣

Fromage · 11/04/2021 10:25

@AliasGrape BRILLIANT!

🤣🤣🤣

stoopider · 11/04/2021 10:26

Why do people write these kind of threads?

Fromage · 11/04/2021 10:28

@stoopider

Why do people write these kind of threads?
Alcohol.
stoopider · 11/04/2021 10:29

@AliasGrape nailed it. Emma stone for the bitchy niece

LaMarschallin · 11/04/2021 10:30

Good work, JesusITCV.

His crisp white shirtsleeves were rolled up, exposing muscular forearms

Is anyone else old enough (or prepared to admit to it Smile) to remember the "Fresh cream cakes: naughty... but nice" advertising campaign?*

Sadly I can't find a link to the one of Pat Coombs as a timid, probably 42-ish Wink, innocent reading a torrid romance novel,** but that really brought it back:

PC "She was powerless to resist; his muscular arms enfolded her softly yielding body... Oooh-er!"

Followed by a deep, man's voice:

"Fresh cream cakes: naughty... but nice"

*Legend has it that Salman Rushdie was the advertising copywriter that coined that phrase.

**Possibly the one the OP was reading while reclining on her Parker Knoll in her living room in the hotel while sitting by the fire.

category12 · 11/04/2021 10:32

Gosh, early drinker in that case.

Maybe it's a champagne snifter before the wedding of her other niece today. It's to the older brother, and she's seen the way he looks at her, but not sure if it's because he knows or he's secretly in love with her.

CupoTeap · 11/04/2021 10:36

Wow, all it time was the offer of a drink?

AliasGrape · 11/04/2021 10:45

@nowlook

Grin AliasGrape

I believe I've seen some of your incredibly innovative work before. Tell me about the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, for there will surely be one. I'd also appreciate an adorable small child (preferably belonging to the -widowed?- groom).

Now I think about it there definitely is an adorable small child. OP should get the child involved in making edible stain glass window decorations for the tree lighting ceremony, at which she will also serve hot chocolate. I think it's the child like wonder of the ceremony coupled with OP's secret family hot chocolate recipe (she puts cinnamon in it because literally nobody else has ever thought of that) that first starts to thaw the hearts of the frosty locals. That and when she decides to start selling parkin cupcakes showing that she respects the local ways and traditions whilst also adding her own exotic twist.

The small child should definitely be motherless and extra adorable yet wise beyond his or her years. I'd like them to belong to the widowed groom or potentially the widowed venture capitalist I'm just worried theres too many widows what with the OP also being bereaved. How committed are you to the dead husband thing OP?

AllDoneIn · 11/04/2021 10:50

This is my new favourite thread, mostly because of the replies 😂

deeplyambivalent · 11/04/2021 10:50

Legend has it that Salman Rushdie was the advertising copywriter that coined that phrase.

That's some awesome value added posting, @LaMarschallin !

Twenty2 · 11/04/2021 10:53

Hilarious!

AllDoneIn · 11/04/2021 11:00

I also want to salute @JesusInTheCabbageVan and @AliasGrape and yes Alias I would watch that movie Grin