He shared private pictures online

[feelingexposed]

Hello, I am actually very embarrassed to post this but needed to know if its happened to others and get some advice.

My husband has been taking pictures of me in private for years, sometimes sneaky ones other times he asks me to let him. As you can imagine i am in various stages of dressed in them, usually not at all. I didnt like it but let it slide because I thought all hubbies do that kind of thing.

This was okay until last week, some stranger messaged me on FB and was saying pervy comments and then sent me a picture of myself, fully nude asleep. I flipped out big time and asked him where he got it. Apparently he got it on an image sharing site when men share pics of their wives. I blocked the person and rang my husband immediately. He was really panicked and told me the whole story.

For the past 2 years he has been sharing my pictures on forums and websites specifically for unaware wives, he says he really enjoys it and it helps him de-stress and get off. He then said he has never shared my details and gave me a fake name (as if that made it okay). We have been trying to have a child for a number of years now and he claims it helps him manage his EJs. He said he never meant to hurt me and he is really sorry i found out.

What on earth do I do now? hundreds of men have seen these pictures and I love my husband so its really hard to make any decisions or talk to him right now. AIBU or is this justified? he has never cheated or anything like that.

Help

He's really sorry you found out.

Not he is horrified now he has been told just how intrusive and freaky this behaviour is?

And yes, it's illegal.

Your H has dehumanized you, he even said so, he uses you in place of a medical aid!

I don't know how I'd deal with it. But I imagine he'd be hurting...

So did he give your real name? Because if it was a fake name how on earth did someone find you on Facebook?

I'm utterly shocked and disgusted, op, how could he? Unforgivable. I'm so sorry, op, but I honestly don't see how you can get past this

What the ever loving fuck?! "helps him de-stress" - WHAT? Think about that for a second. He gets off on violating you. This is a serious thing. This person is not who you thought he was he is a creep and a pervert who gets off on violating women's privacy.

You should go to the police. Have you got, or can you get any evidence of him admitting to it? Messages from the guy that contacted you?

You should go to the police without telling him that is what you are going to do, do not give him a chance to get his story straight or hide evidence.

Then, you divorce him.

It would be the end of the marriage for me, and I'd report him to the police. He's been treating you like an object and letting other people do so too.

What he's done is absolutely appalling. I really truly could not remain married to him. I'd feel violated forever by this behaviour and I don't think it's an overreaction to contact the police.

He said all of the sites he used use temporary pictures so there is nothing permanent online, just the ones people have saved.

That content is out there forever. There are multiple archiving sites that exist which scrape and capture all of that, and there are likely aggregator or feed sites that take the content from one site and move it to multiple others. That's how these sites work.

revengepornhelpline.org.uk/

This is a crime, voyeurism and intimate image abuse. Get in contact with the revenge porn helpline, they will advise you on what to do

Police and ltb. Not easy or simple but my food what a cockendedbadgerwanker!!!

Omg I feel sick reading your opening post, I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s really horrendous. Your relationship is over OP

He’s sorry you FOUND OUT, he’s not sorry he committed a crime and basically made you porn?

It would be over for me, don’t try for children with this man.

So he's been lying and deceiving you for 2 years?

You know these pictures will be online for millions to view?

Your future children, employers, family etc.

Disgusting

Report to the police and leave.

I'd want him to delete everything. If you have to hire a PI to help you with this, I would. While he's still contrite. However talk to the police first to see what they need.

So, to him, you are a sex-object that he shares (virtually) with other vile men to critique and wank over on a forum filled with other hideous men all doing the same..

I would be beyond livid and would very likely end my relationship over this. It's such a HUGE betrayal of your trust and demonstrates a deep disrespect for you as a person. Like you are simply a piece of meat for him to share around, albeit 'virtually'.

All because he, 'really enjoys it and it helps him de-stress and get off'.

What a snide, vile pervert.

I think you go to the Police. What else isn't he telling you?

I'm almost certain that's illegal!
I'd leave him and make sure everybody knows why. He's been sending pictures of you naked for strange men to wank over. I couldn't even look at my husband if he showed himself to be so disgusting.

It is a crime and I could never forgive the violation of my privacy, ever. Temporary pictures in this day and age mean nothing. You have no idea how many people have seen and downloaded those pictures and they could easily share them again to any site they wish.

The fear that whilst sleeping my husband would take photos of my without my consent and then share them intentionally is deplorable and downright creepy.

I would be glad you do not have children and I would be divorcing him.

I think he was very honest when he said he was sorry you found out.

He’s not sorry he did it. He knew you wouldn’t like it.. he did it anyway. There’s no such thing as “temporary images” on the internet, they’ll be cached all over the place, let alone just downloaded.

Honestly I’d never trust him again. He’s betrayed you in a way that is so much worse than cheating.

No, not all 'hubbies' do that.

What he did was a crime. Please stop TTC with this man. What he's doing is criminal.

This is shocking. There is no getting over this. I can’t believe he’s trying to justify it! Makes it even worse. He needs professional help.

He would be an ex husband. Immediately.

This is a crime. You need to go to the police and he needs to go to jail. There is absolutely no excuse for this at all.

He’s scum, he’s lying. The photos are on the internet forever.
I don’t know anyone who’s husband takes naked photos of them, what made you think this was normal behavior?

Omfg. He’s completely violated you and put you at risk. This is almost worse than being cheated on- it’s at least the same. How the fuck are you meant to get over this and ever trust him again? I know I couldn’t. He gets off on sharing intimate pictures of the person he’s supposed to love more than anyone else in the world with no consideration for you at all.

Also keep in mind he only came clean to you because he had to because some creep had blown his cover by contacting you. If that hadn’t happened he’d continue you doing this. He still might.

Oh my god. I can’t imagine how violated I would feel if my husband did this.

There is no way in hell I could continue a relationship with a man who did this. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about it.

I am so so sorry.