DH masturbating after sex. Male advice welcome!

[HermionePotter123]

NC for this for obvious reasons. Just to start off I have no issues with my DH masturbating providing it doesn't replace our sex life (at one point he basically was replacing sex with masturbation but after a frank chat we got things back on track). Anyway, DH isn't the most discreet of men and would often leave 'used' boxers/socks etc lying around. We share the laundry 50/50 but he's currently on a set of night shifts so I tend to do the housework when he's working nights (plus I'm still on maternity so I've more free time). Anyway, I've noticed that DH has a habit of seeing to himself later in the day after we've DTD. We had sex this morning then when I was tidying up this evening I noticed a badly hidden sock sticking out from under the bed which he'd obviously used. Normally I'd roll my eyes and get on with it, but it got me thinking there does seem to be a pattern of him doing it a few hours after sex. My minds now in overdrive thinking do I not satisfy him? Or could it be a case of sex making him more horny? Like I said, as long as our sex life is good I've no issue with masturbation/porn but it's just the way it always seems to be after we have sex that makes me wonder if he doesn't feel it's satisfactory enough. Obviously I can't ask him as he'd be mortified and I know it's none of my business really. But just curious to here other poster POV.

*hear not here!

If he cums with you, he's probably still feeling frisky, thinking about what you got up to!

He would be more discrete if he was mortified.

I don't think it is any reflection on you or your sex life. From title I thought he was masterbating immediately after sex. I don't think later that day is anything to worry about.

I don't understand the whole men and the sock thing, can anyone explain? Surely a tissue is more practical and hygienic.

No idea I'm afraid, but unless he's faking orgasm with you then I wouldn't be that worried. What I would be worried about is the 'used' socks - that is grim af to leave lying around for you to find and tidy up!

Not an issue unless he is faking it because of death grip syndrome i.e he cannot come inside you because he is used to wanking hard and needs that pressure.

I can't believe a grown man leaves wanky socks lying around. Has he no pride? That's disgusting.
misses point of thread completely

I'd have more issues with the socks than the masturbating. Thats disgusting and that's what I would kick off about.

Just to start off I have no issues with my DH masturbating providing it doesn't replace our sex life (

You definitely do. You have an issue with him wanking on the same day that intercourse takes place.

Fella here, I'm to in agreement with other posters his choice of his cum catcher ie a sock,?? 😂 masturbation is a good stress reliever so it maybe not a reflection on your sex life, but just like anything else harmless if done in moderation if it's a everyday occurrence,? Maybe he needs to see a therapist,!!

No he definitely did finish this morning. In fairness I used a pair of his boxers to clean up after we DTD (sorry if tmi), so it would be a bit hypocritical if I got at him for using items of clothing. The sock was sticking out from under the bed, so I don't think he expected me to find it. Although he can be fairly indiscreet DH can get very defensive when talking about masturbation. He makes out that he very seldom does it but I think most men largely downplay their personal habits. It's just the fact it often seems to be a few hours after sex that leaves me feeling a bit despondent. Dont get me wrong I'm glad I get "first refusal" so to speak, but in hindsight it got me wondering if I don't satisfy him or if he just prefers masturbation. Personally I only mastubate when we haven't DTD in a while or if DH is out of the house etc as I prefer the real thing but I know everyone is different.

You know us fellas enough is never enough,!! 😂 maybe turn the tables you do the same,? see what he says / his reactions,?

I do see the contradiction in my opening statement @activitythree! The thought had never crossed my mind before, as I said as long as our sex life is good it's not an issue. It's the fact it basically only seems to be after we have sex he does it. Previously I actually felt quite flattered thinking it must be because I got him so frisky earlier in the day, but I just had a moment where I thought "maybe I'm not satisfying him at all". I know in the grand scheme of things it's a non issue, but I'm just curious to hear other points of view

@Ardvark111 I wouldn't have the energy! Previously when DH was turning me down for sex but still masturbating I found it very hurtful as his excuse was "he had a low libido" (he didn't know i knew he was masturbating). So I guess I still have issues regarding self esteem because of that. Which is my problem to solve and I shouldn't overthink things so much.

Just get him a whole years pairs of socks, then bag them up,and he can spend New years eve, washing them all, ready for the next year.

I am laughing about this, as I don't have a man in my life !!

@hermionepotter123. I imagine you would have found that hurtful to be fair,!! Without going into to much detail 😂 us fellas are as 1 with our palm of right hand ( unless left handed 😂 ) and as I said it's a great for stress relief ending in a ecstatic release,!! Re your situation you can either a) accept his little self pleasures or b) tell him to curb it as its affecting your self esteem in a number of ways

I’d be mortified with him for leaving cummy socks lying around 🤢 🤮

Maybe he just has a high sex drive and can go again quite quickly after but he just doesn’t want to hound you etc? A TMI question, but as we’ve already established he leaves cummy socks about the bedroom, can you visibly see/feel when he finishes? Like if you have unprotected sex, is it there if you checked. (Trying not to sound grim 🤣)

@1foralll74 😂😂

Is he leaving this out on purpose to get to get to you? This is so weird
What’s happening here ??
He wanks and then he just throws it on the floor and just carries on with his day? Or he’s going to the effort of hiding it instead of just putting it in the laundry?
Why doesn’t he just use a tissue?
I have so many questions

So the masturbating I would have no issue with
Leaving sodden bits of laundry around the house I would have a massive issue with

The wank sock left on the floor is absolutely beyond grim OP.

[quote Ardvark111]@hermionepotter123. I imagine you would have found that hurtful to be fair,!! Without going into to much detail 😂 us fellas are as 1 with our palm of right hand ( unless left handed 😂 ) and as I said it's a great for stress relief ending in a ecstatic release,!! Re your situation you can either a) accept his little self pleasures or b) tell him to curb it as its affecting your self esteem in a number of ways[/quote]
No, she can’t tell him not to do anything, and while you may masturbate all the time not all men do. You don’t speak for the entirety of men so you can stop with the “us fellas” bollocks.

OP the masturbation isn’t the issue here, but leaving cum soaked items of clothing around is. If he gets cagey when you bring it up then he should be more discreet and not leave them lying around.

@1forAll74 excellent idea!
@Ardvark111 because of sex life has greatly improved since the talk, I don't mind him masturbating. The issue before was that he was seeing to himself and repeatedly rejecting me whilst claiming he had a low libido. He will still say he has a low libido and will downplay how much he masturbates but as I'm not being 'replaced' anymore as such, it doesn't bother ne like it did before. From a guys point of view do sex and masturbation serve different purposes? Personally I prefer sex etc to seeing to myself, but maybe for men (and some women) it's different?
@Leigh12x he definitely has a higher sex drive than he let's on. I suspect he mastubates to help him sleep too during the day when he's on night shift. The socks/boxers etc would be damp, that's how I'd know. I'm sure there's many a time I've picked up socks once it's 'dried in' but probably wouldn't notice it then

@Unfinished he used to just throw it into the laundry pile. This is how I knew he was seeing to himself when we weren't having sex previously. I was getting really upset so spoke with him about it and told him how it was affecting my self esteem etc. Since then he tries to be more discreet but I think he often just forgets and throws it in the general laundry pile. Before he met me he was single for about ten years so I think a lot of the laundry stuff is just habitual. He had tried to conceal the sock under the bed, but I spotted it sticking out a little when hoovering so picked it up and it had obviously been used. Im sure he does use tissues sometimes but was probably too lazy to go to the bathroom to get any. I've used clothes for clean up post sex (namely boxers), so i can't really complain about him doing it to be fair especially when he wasn't intending for me to find it

You have a child. That child is gonna be crawling around soon.....

He needs to stop being disgusting and clean up with tissues or in the shower.
Grim.

Very good point @CodMouth. Definitely grim.

He’s doing it cos the sex ur having is so good, it sets him up feeling horny all day. So all good. Nothing to worry about.

And at least he doesn’t wipe it on the curtain 😂