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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Surviving infidelity

624 replies

sal1223 · 27/03/2021 10:40

Hey all - I posted a month or so ago after husband confessed to a one night stand 3 years ago. I was 100% certain that he'd be out the door if anything like that ever happened and then now it has I've felt differently and haven't kicked him out (probably different story if we didn't have children) . I don't think you know until it happens to you personally , honestly I'm shocked at myself ! he's expressed deep remorse and hates himself for what he did - says he told me as couldn't lie any longer it was affecting his mental health and that he'll do whatever it takes to keep us together.
Anyway it's been really up and down since , I'm ok one minute then a mess the next thinking about what he did and playing it out in my head . The hysterical bonding lasted 2 weeks and was a total mind f*ck (for lack of a better word) for both of us - as at the moment I'm not interested in getting intimate at all!
What I'm asking is - has anyone in my position actually moved on successfully and 'survived infidelity' ??
everyones circumstances are different - if it had been a long affair with lots of cloak and dagger I don't think I could give him another chance, as a one off I'm trying. Has anyone else been in my position and come out the other side happily married ? Sounds silly writing it down but that's what I'm asking - I read somewhere only 16% of marriages survive infidelity
Much love and thanks

OP posts:
Ladybirdkiss · 13/05/2021 12:22

Just find your anger, he has lied so much to you and you would never have found out unless you called ow. He has destroyed your marriage and your family life. You need to put your love in a box and open the lid on your anger

duodunical · 13/05/2021 12:26

Let him rent somewhere OP, see how the next few months go. Don't upset yourself by saying goodbye forever.

You need some space. You need to clear your head.

ClingFilmAndGafferTape · 13/05/2021 12:36

Don't be hard on yourself sal it's early days after finding out the truth and you need time to process it and to grieve. As OP said "I don't think I will ever feel like the 'myself' I was before it happened because something like this changes you forever. At least it has me. Mostly in a good way - I've found out how strong and capable I am and I have put our kids first when he hasn't - but in other ways too...i will never give everything of me to someone else. I will never go into another relationship as naive and trusting as I did with my ex." is true of me too. I'm not the same person I was before. It took me a long time to come out the other side, a good couple of years. I wish you strength Flowers

sal1223 · 13/05/2021 16:43

He's moving as we speak - I found him somewhere next to where he works available now - which is almost like it's meant to be because rental
Impossible at the moment due to combos and everyone moving here from the cities

OP posts:
Getafuckinggripman · 13/05/2021 17:23

You're very strong OP. Even though I know you're broken inside top marks for not tolerating this horse shit x

MsDogLady · 13/05/2021 17:49

I know this is excruciating, Sal.

He had many chances to do the right thing. He didn’t have to have an affair. He didn’t have to abuse you with continuous lies. He didn’t have to put you in the humiliating position of hearing the truth from OW. He didn’t have to reconnect with her.

He willingly made the choices that trashed your marriage. Stay strong.

sal1223 · 13/05/2021 18:11

He's gone - it's done 😪

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 13/05/2021 18:22

My heart goes out to you, Sal.

itwa · 13/05/2021 19:50
Thanks
Ladybirdkiss · 13/05/2021 19:56

Massive hugs to you x

SEE123 · 13/05/2021 20:37

The beginning of forever - you've done the right thing Sal.
You deserved the truth and gave him every opportunity to prove he loves and respects you by coming clean, instead he responded with more lies.

Don't what you need to to get through the next few weeks. I hope you have support in real life x

sal1223 · 13/05/2021 21:17

Thanks - I have a good family . I am so sad I had to do something I didn't want to do 😓

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 13/05/2021 21:30

sorry sal it does sound like meant to be with the new place though as you say thats very rare-you need to be more distant though but friendly for the kids he can pick them up at set times no waltzing in when he feels like it

sal1223 · 13/05/2021 22:38

Yeah he won't be doing that - I've been really calm and amicable because the priority now is the kids - he'll be coming to see them tomorrow and the weekend and I'm ok with that

OP posts:
Dita73 · 13/05/2021 22:49

Sal1223 I really hope you’re alright. Didn’t realise there was another thread so I got concerned. It will hurt like hell now but in the future I’m certain you’ll be glad he’s gone. He’s treated you appallingly. Sending best wishes to you Flowers

sal1223 · 13/05/2021 23:21

Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
Ladybirdkiss · 14/05/2021 17:22

How are you @sal1223

sal1223 · 14/05/2021 23:46

Hi still feeling sad and confused - he popped in today to see kids but I started on him as soon as they went outside and he's now living his consequences because it's like he's in prison he says coz the place is tiny . I feel like he still blames me for things ie being a nagging wife etc he says he's lost everything now and I've only lost him - when it happened he was lost and wasn't thinking straight - although it went on for 2-3 months and wasn't the ons I was lead to believe . Yes I do feel sorry for him I can't help it - my mum can't understand why I'm not furious and making a scene because of how he's said things to blame me but you know what - it's not my fault , I know that so nothing he says about it being my fault changes that . If he really loved me he wouldn't have been able to say such crude spiteful things to me yesterday about what they've done together - I did ask but could have had a more sensitive response . Made me sick

OP posts:
sal1223 · 15/05/2021 00:16

@MarshmallowAra feel free to say I told you so!!

OP posts:
sal1223 · 15/05/2021 00:17

I've been reading back on this thread and you know it does seem like people that have been through it / seen it happen to there's got it 100% right

OP posts:
Jux · 15/05/2021 01:07

♥️ Thinking of you xx

MsDogLady · 15/05/2021 06:11

Sal, thank you for updating. I’m sorry that he is again lashing out and blaming you for his unethical choices.

Most people who feel ‘lost’ manage to stay faithful. And was he ‘not thinking straight’ during his past three years of lies and more lies?

His competition of who lost more is absurd. You only lost him? Hardly. You lost your family unit, your trust, your feeling of emotional safety, and your expectations for the future. You’ve gained the knowledge of his disloyalty. Shame on him for twisting the knife yesterday.

To protect your emotional health, I would offer him only brief conversations, limited to the children and practical matters. Don’t engage with anything else. Stick to email as much as possible, and be elsewhere while he has the children.

You feel crushed, but you’ve been courageous to take such definitive action.

sal1223 · 15/05/2021 07:35

@MsDogLady thank you and well out , it's helpful to me to see it written like that because I just end up so shocked at what he says I don't know what to say to him. If I say 'I'm hurt' - so am I , if I say 'I'm sad' - so am I
He wants me to feel sorry for him and guilty , I really hope he doesn't start going off the rails again
. I would like to have something ready to say to him next time he starts the poor me so any suggestions to make it as clear as possible would be appreciated, because it won't be the last I hear about how hard he's got it now .

OP posts:
sal1223 · 15/05/2021 07:43

*well put
I think I said earlier mum thinks I'm being too nice , I'm not trying to be nice I'm trying to avoid drama and him losing it . He saw her 2 weeks ago and never mentioned it (she said she'd been back and saw him in passing) so I want him to know I know, I just need some some quick responses to his anger / self loathing and selfishness . Or I do I just draw a line and never engage with anything like that again

OP posts:
Whatdirection · 15/05/2021 07:46

Morning Sal,

Just caught up with your update and l am so sorry about the latest developments.

I know how devastating it is to not only be betrayed but to feel so let down by their actions afterwards. I’ve been there with all the blameshifting and making out they are the victim. It’s truly horrible because deep down we know a decent man wouldn’t behave like that.

You have done your best. You deserve better.

It’s hard with your children but l echo previous posters in keeping contact with him business like, logistical and through email as much as possible. He’s shown his true colours- you know enough now.

I think what really killed my marriage was the fact the his needs ALWAYS came before mine. He would try for a bit but he couldn’t sustain it. In the end l completely lost faith in his ability to be the man l needed him to be to get us to a better place. I was having to do all the heavy lifting and that felt so wrong.

Take one day at a time for now, maybe an hour at a time. You will feel like you are on a rollercoaster, circling through many conflicting emotions.

I always said to myself that if l felt l wanted him back, l had to sit with that feeling for a whole fortnight and then l would contact him. You know what, he always did something that made me realise who he really was. And emotions do pass and change.

It’s nearly three months now for me. It’s been tough but l can’t go back. Keep posting on here - many women have been where you are - you will get excellent support.

Xx

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