Morning Sal,
Just caught up with your update and l am so sorry about the latest developments.
I know how devastating it is to not only be betrayed but to feel so let down by their actions afterwards. I’ve been there with all the blameshifting and making out they are the victim. It’s truly horrible because deep down we know a decent man wouldn’t behave like that.
You have done your best. You deserve better.
It’s hard with your children but l echo previous posters in keeping contact with him business like, logistical and through email as much as possible. He’s shown his true colours- you know enough now.
I think what really killed my marriage was the fact the his needs ALWAYS came before mine. He would try for a bit but he couldn’t sustain it. In the end l completely lost faith in his ability to be the man l needed him to be to get us to a better place. I was having to do all the heavy lifting and that felt so wrong.
Take one day at a time for now, maybe an hour at a time. You will feel like you are on a rollercoaster, circling through many conflicting emotions.
I always said to myself that if l felt l wanted him back, l had to sit with that feeling for a whole fortnight and then l would contact him. You know what, he always did something that made me realise who he really was. And emotions do pass and change.
It’s nearly three months now for me. It’s been tough but l can’t go back. Keep posting on here - many women have been where you are - you will get excellent support.
Xx