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Original poster

Ex is refusing to bring 19 month old son home!

617 replies

Notlong2go · 24/03/2021 22:29

I posted a thread yesterday about how my ex is demanding to have our 4 and a half month old every weekend which I won’t agree to.
Today he picked up our 19 month old like usual and then later called me to tell me I won’t be getting him back until I take him to court or let him see our youngest.

So I have never refused to let him see any of the children but, I just don’t want him having our youngest overnight at this young age, especially when he has never spent any time alone with him.
He told me last night he was going to pick both children up and I told him it wouldn’t be possible to have my baby today and we would have to arrange something but, because of this he has said I am stopping him seeing his son so now refuses to bring our older son home!

This has made me even more certain I don’t trust him to take my baby away from my home alone!!

OP posts:
CatsHairEverywhere2 · 28/03/2021 14:35

Great news!! Grin

Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 14:45

Sorry I meant to say, it DID end in him getting arrested as he turned up without notice and after I told him we would meet somewhere else as I didn’t want him at my home. He pushed his way into my house and became aggressive and verbally abusive with my partner. In the end the police had to take him but, he did try to take my boy again. My son seems perfectly fine but, it’s not healthy for this to happen around them.

My ex’s mother was disgusting and had called me blaming me for having my partner in my house and even said about her son oh poor so and so. She even asked me to drop my son back off to her because her son had told her he was being arrested and to pick my boy up from me. She actually had the cheek to ask me to take my son back to her house otherwise her son wouldn’t think she was sticking up for him!

OP posts:
betterfantasia · 28/03/2021 14:49

That's unbelievable. They don't seem to have the maturity to even consider acting in your son's best interests.

I would be insisting on supervised contact in a contract centre, paid for by him.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 28/03/2021 14:54

Stick to your guns op.

That should hopefully be the worst but for now and you have your boy home the courts will sort a plan out and you should feel safer.

And have who the hell you want in your house. Xx

WisnaeMe · 28/03/2021 15:01

OP get your Court Order tomorrow lady, your Ex sounds like a clown. Well done for phoning the Police 🌺

worried3012 · 28/03/2021 15:23

Well done OP, it's only the first hurdle and a little more go but an important first step.

Has he ever said exactly why he objects to your partner being in the house or is he simply jealous?

AcrossthePond55 · 28/03/2021 15:27

So glad he's home and safe.

Do you mean to say that even after the police were there he tried to take DS and leave? What an idiot! Be sure you get a copy of the police report.

I think it's time to block his mother. She has nothing to say that you need to hear.

Defo proceed with court. See if his antics could result in you getting legal aid. A 'fresh' report of him pushing his way into your home and becoming aggressive/verbally abusive should qualify as DV I should think.

RevolvingPivot · 28/03/2021 15:33

How long have you been with your partner if you baby is 4 months? It can't have been longer than 13 months? To be honest I think having him there would aggravated the situation. It all seems to be very sudden.

Glad you're got is back 😃

Noshowlomo · 28/03/2021 15:39

Jesus what a situation. I’m so glad your baby is home with you

Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 15:52

@AcrossthePond55 with the past history of DV I am likely to get legal aid thankfully.

Well he barged his way into my home and my partner was upstairs and my ex went straight up to confront him.
His mother should take some responsibility in my eyes for raising such a violent, aggressive, spoilt brat rather than putting the blame on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 15:54

@RevolvingPivot how was I supposed to know that he was going to turn up to my house and push his way inside. There are ways of communicating about issues and that isn’t through violence and screaming and shouting! My partner even parked his car on another street to avoid aggravating anything. Bottom line is that his actions aren’t the way to go about things

OP posts:
Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 15:57

And tbh if he hadn’t have done this today the sad thing is, I wouldn’t have gotten any protection from the police

OP posts:
WisnaeMe · 28/03/2021 16:05

OP you did the right thing, and your relationship is your business 🌺

RandomMess · 28/03/2021 16:13

Victim blaming as ever.

There is no excuse for this man's violent behaviour full stop. This is who he is a violent abusive bully that believes he has the right to own and control any woman he wants.

Roll on the court order and please get a restraining order - speak to national domestic helpline about the process.

Thanks
Dcadmam001 · 28/03/2021 16:35

The good thing is that your ex behaviour today will now have to be taken into account by the court - make sure you get a police case number for reference to.

Worldwide2 · 28/03/2021 17:12

So relieved you gave your little boy back. As pp get a court order dont let him have them until that's in place.
Keep calling the police everytime he turns up unannounced. Don't give in!

RevolvingPivot · 28/03/2021 17:15

[quote Notlong2go]@RevolvingPivot how was I supposed to know that he was going to turn up to my house and push his way inside. There are ways of communicating about issues and that isn’t through violence and screaming and shouting! My partner even parked his car on another street to avoid aggravating anything. Bottom line is that his actions aren’t the way to go about things[/quote]
No I agree with you.

Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 18:06

I’m just waiting to hear if the domestic violence order thing (not sure what it’s called) has been approved.
I’m just glad to have all my children in one house again and I have learnt today that I’m surrounded by so many fake and disgusting people.

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 28/03/2021 18:07

So sorry you poor thing
Awful man

Please please get good legal advice and a strong court order in place

Keep a record of everything

Sorry you have been through this

HamFisted · 28/03/2021 18:38

In many ways, he's done you a favour by acting this way. As you point out, you'll get more protection now and it'll be harder for him to get unsupervised contact.

Glad you've got your kids back. x

FatCatThinCat · 28/03/2021 18:43

I'm so pleased for you now that your boy is back. Your ex has inadvertantly done you a favour here because now nobody sensible would question your right to withold all contact unless supervised in a contact centre.

GaraMedouar · 28/03/2021 18:47

So glad your boy is back OP Flowers

WisnaeMe · 28/03/2021 19:04

@HamFisted

In many ways, he's done you a favour by acting this way. As you point out, you'll get more protection now and it'll be harder for him to get unsupervised contact.

Glad you've got your kids back. x

Agreed, you've had a terrible few days OP, hopefully the worst is over 🌸

Binglebong · 28/03/2021 19:24

Can you get a panic alarm from the police in case he comes back? I would imagine they've recorded your number as a quick response alert but a button if he turns up would be quicker.

So glad you got him back ok.

Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 20:00

Well the police contacted me and said the domestic violence protection order hasn’t been issued as they don’t deem it high enough a risk! I’m so frustrated and disgusted, my mental health is suffering big time. I just feel like screaming and bursting into tears and every bloody emotion going right now. How can they not see it as a high enough risk when he has beat me before and plenty of other things.
I’m so lucky because I have a supportive family but, what about those women who have nobody and find the courage to speak out only to be let down by the system.

I honestly am so happy to have my boy back but, at the same time I’m just filled with dread because, he could come at anytime and try and take him

OP posts:
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