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Original poster

Ex is refusing to bring 19 month old son home!

617 replies

Notlong2go · 24/03/2021 22:29

I posted a thread yesterday about how my ex is demanding to have our 4 and a half month old every weekend which I won’t agree to.
Today he picked up our 19 month old like usual and then later called me to tell me I won’t be getting him back until I take him to court or let him see our youngest.

So I have never refused to let him see any of the children but, I just don’t want him having our youngest overnight at this young age, especially when he has never spent any time alone with him.
He told me last night he was going to pick both children up and I told him it wouldn’t be possible to have my baby today and we would have to arrange something but, because of this he has said I am stopping him seeing his son so now refuses to bring our older son home!

This has made me even more certain I don’t trust him to take my baby away from my home alone!!

OP posts:
RevolvingPivot · 27/03/2021 17:49

@CombatBarbie

She has to tell him she's recording or else she can't use it as evidence.

I'd still proceed with court hearing though.

Surely not recording him in the first place is better than asking his permission and him kicking off.
MazekeenSmith · 27/03/2021 17:59

Don't record him but bring someone with you. You can cite someone as a witness but you can't use recordings as evidence.

Dery · 27/03/2021 18:05

@Notlong2go - you’ve had some great advice on this thread. I just wanted to say you sound great - very sensible, very sorted. Some posters on this thread have made unbelievably unpleasant comments and you’ve remained very dignified. Good luck tomorrow.

CombatBarbie · 27/03/2021 18:19

@RevolvingPivot I was merely saying if she did intend on recording he has to tell him so if it was to be used in evidence.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/03/2021 18:31

I agree, any recording is not useable in legal proceedings if two way consent is legally required. I'm not in the UK so not sure what the law is there.

But they're good 'memory joggers' for verbatim statements on documents.

And in some cases the police will still listen to them even though they can't use them to document a case.

WisnaeMe · 27/03/2021 18:48

@AcrossthePond55

I agree, any recording is not useable in legal proceedings if two way consent is legally required. I'm not in the UK so not sure what the law is there.

But they're good 'memory joggers' for verbatim statements on documents.

And in some cases the police will still listen to them even though they can't use them to document a case.

this is a good option OP. 🌸

Sugarygoodness · 27/03/2021 19:07

You can absolutely record the conversation. Then write it down, and use that in court if needed. If he disputes it, he can allow the tapes to be played to prove it.

betterfantasia · 27/03/2021 19:07

I'd have a friend waiting in the shadows. Meet the ex work with a smile, get the baby in your arms, get out of grabbing distance. Then start walking away and have the friend film so he can't pursue or try anything.

DunderBlue · 28/03/2021 02:13

I'm glad you're getting your son back. I think you definitely need to pursue the courts and get it in writing. It's absolutely terrifying that he thought holding your child as a way of getting what he wanted was alright.
If I were you I'd get all the advice you could once he's back. Don't think you have to stick to anything he demands. Find out if you're obliged to allow him access again, I would think you'd have reasonable grounds to not allow it until it's in a court agreement since he's done this. He went against an agreement you had (verbal) and therefore he isn't trusted. Agree with him when he's with you and then once he's gone don't let him back until you have a court backed agreement so he can't do this again.

SandyY2K · 28/03/2021 02:36

Either get him to bring your DS to the doorstep and leave..or if you pick him up...don't let him in.

Tell him you're not in a place to talk right now.

Have someone with you if possible.

Sugarygoodness · 28/03/2021 07:55

Good luck today op. Xx

BlackAlys · 28/03/2021 09:04

Good luck OP

gallileofigaro · 28/03/2021 09:49

Thinking of you and hoping you have DC back soon xxx

EasterIssland · 28/03/2021 09:51

Good luck!

harknesswitch · 28/03/2021 10:56

Thinking of you today op x

Worldwide2 · 28/03/2021 11:25

Good luck op! 🍀

TinkerPony · 28/03/2021 11:29

Good luck 🍀 your son will be so happy to be back with you and Siblings 💙

Original poster
Notlong2go · 28/03/2021 13:09

Thank you everybody, my boy is home!!
It didn’t result in his father getting arrested however, and hopefully some sort of order will be put in place so he can’t come to my home again.

OP posts:
Learningtofeminist · 28/03/2021 13:14

Just wanted to say @Notlong2go, I've been following and hoping and so please you have your boy back! I hope he wasn't too distressed by the experience.

If they were mine I wouldn't be letting either of the children leave with their dad (or any members of his family who clearly colluded with this) again unless I was legally obliged to Flowers

BlackCatShadow · 28/03/2021 13:23

@Notlong2go

Thank you everybody, my boy is home!! It didn’t result in his father getting arrested however, and hopefully some sort of order will be put in place so he can’t come to my home again.
It did or didn't?

I'm so glad you got your son back. I hope you are ok.

worried3012 · 28/03/2021 13:23

@Notlong2go

Thank you everybody, my boy is home!! It didn’t result in his father getting arrested however, and hopefully some sort of order will be put in place so he can’t come to my home again.
I'm really happy for you, I hope your son is okay.

Were any demands made by the ex before handing over your son?

Now you can look forward to court and fight for what you want in a more formal arrangement.

EasterIssland · 28/03/2021 13:27

Glad to hear he’s home. Cuddle him for all these days.
Hope things get sorted in coming days ans he doesn’t dare to try it again

Natsku · 28/03/2021 13:39

Glad he's home OP

WisnaeMe · 28/03/2021 13:43

Fantastic news 🌸

GabsAlot · 28/03/2021 13:57

did the police have to go round or did he just hand him back over

i wouldnt let him see your son alone again without a court order